#muffins is making playlists

[ruvi-muffin]

Hi i'm about to be So Insufferable

Whatever you do do not immagine essek describing caleb, his partner, as kind, smart and strong.. ;u;♡♡

[fushitoru]

infect me with your love

pairing ⸺ spiderman!gojo x reader

summary ⸺ you have always existed in gojo satoru’s shadow. he is a physics prodigy, a person that everyone endlessly admires for his intelligence and charisma, and you hate him for taking the spotlight that you deserve to share with him. but it all changes one day at 5:07AM at your starbucks job when gojo barges in, ordering ridiculously sweet drinks and posing existential questions. is there more to gojo that meets the eye, and is it linked to the vigilante swinging around New York City?

warnings ⸺ college au, academic rivals to lovers, SMUT, tooth rotting fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, basically the holy trinity, reader works at Starbucks (BOYCOTT tho), set in NYC, both reader and gojo are physics majors, mentions of SA, attempt at SA on reader but nothing too graphic, some violence, gojo swings reader across NYC so might trigger fear of heights?. SPIDER-MAN KISS SPIDERMAN KISS, injury and mentions of blood, mentions of gun, inappropriate use of webs LOL, fingering, oral, p in v sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied

playlist ⸺ quantum rizzics

a/n thank you for @avaults my POOKIE for beta reading this. this has been a journey and my first longfic and i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i did writing it it's my baby:')

if u don’t wanna read the smut just skip the part after they make up, it’s not necessary to the story and is the ending scene. but just to be clear, minors dni.

kinktober masterlist | general masterlist | spiderman!gojo masterlist

fun fact: starbucks opens at 5am.

of course, that depends on your local hours and where you live, but in the campus starbucks you worked at, your manager fortunately didn’t really care if you showed up to your opening shift a bit late. after all, no professor or undergrad is waking up at the ass crack of dawn to get a fuckin coffee; if they really needed a pick me up, they’d go to get the free alcohol at one of the frats that was still partying. 

matter of fact, your manager didn’t really give a fuck what you did as long as you didn’t get the shop blown up or the matcha spilled (it was expensive). this meant you could leisurely wake up at 4:45am and set up the display muffins and cake pops when you arrived in the shop at 5:20am. really, the manager ought to reduce the hours because all you do is finish your readings for your gen ed history classes on the canvas app on your phone. so, really you get paid for doing your homework on your shifts—not that you’re complaining or anything.

that is, until gojo satoru.

first, let’s get the record straight about who gojo is. gojo is a physics second-year—same as you–who is the bane of your existence. up until a few months ago, you never saw gojo satoru outside of classes (where he was dozing off) unless you happened to show up at a frat party, which was only a few occurrences when you got peer pressured by your friends. clearly, he was a “work hard, party hard” type person because he frequents the frats more than the library while having the grades to make up for it because he’s a prodigy. he’s charismatic and smart as fuck; right out of middle school he was studying manifolds and abstract algebra while the rest of the high school freshmen were learning the quadratic equation and the concept of variables. he probably learned what gravity was at age of two and was doing research in quantum field theory by the time he got into college. 

take the last time you saw him outside of class, at office hours with professor yaga.

the air in professor yaga’s office is thick with the scent of old textbooks, the hum of the overhead lights adding to the familiar quiet. you’ve been waiting all week for this chance, and you’re armed with a question that’s supposed to signal i’ve done my homework. you lean forward, trying to project confidence as you ask, “i read in your last paper that you’re working on optimizing error correction in quantum computing systems. is there a reason you prioritized stabilizer codes over surface codes?”

professor yaga’s brow lifts, impressed, and you can feel the warmth of his approval starting to settle around you. “ah,” he says, sounding pleasantly surprised, “you’ve actually read it. that’s... a complicated question.” he leans back, launching into an explanation, and for a second, you think this might actually be it—the moment he notices you for your dedication, your depth of knowledge.

but then, the door creaks open behind you.

you tense, a sinking feeling pooling in your stomach even before you turn around. of course, it’s gojo satoru, strolling in like he owns the place. his bag is slung over one shoulder, and he’s flashing that easy grin that never seems to falter. he spares you the briefest glance before zeroing in on professor yaga.

professor yaga’s face shifts instantly, a mixture of annoyance and resignation flashing in his eyes as he sighs, “gojo. nice of you to join us.”

“hey, i was just passing by,” gojo says casually, though he’s clearly anything but. he doesn’t pass by anywhere without making an entrance. “thought i’d check in on how everyone’s doing.”

the glint in yaga’s eyes sharpens, and he fixes gojo with a look. “when’s that last problem set coming in, satoru? i’ve had enough late assignments from you for one semester.”

at this, another professor at a nearby desk chuckles, casting an amused glance at gojo. “don’t push him too hard, yaga,” he says as if gojo’s delinquency is something charming, a shared inside joke. “kid’s already got the department’s highest scores without trying.”

oh, for god’s fucking sake. you force yourself not to roll your eyes, your grip tightening on the strap of your bag as you sink back in your chair. of course, all it takes is for him to show up and somehow you’re rendered invisible. just minutes ago, professor yaga was engaging with you, treating you as if you might actually belong in this room with your carefully constructed question. now, he’s utterly distracted, entirely absorbed by whatever pseudo-flattering insults he’s throwing at gojo. and, for the record, that stupid, balding professor is wrong. you have the same fucking scores as gojo, so you’re equals.

you’re not even sure gojo realizes he’s doing it—that he has this magnetic, obnoxious effect on everyone in a room. but that’s exactly what grates on you the most. he pulls all eyes to him, like he’s some cosmic force everyone’s compelled to admire. and you? you’re just… there. not that it’s any different than the usual experiences you’ve had as a woman in stem, always feeling like you have to prove yourself five times over. but somehow, gojo makes it worse.

and he does it all effortlessly, like physics is some sort of playground where he can breeze through research and exams, sprinkling charisma wherever he goes. he’s probably off writing his own theories on manifolds while everyone else is struggling to keep up with quantum mechanics. meanwhile, here you are, clawing for every shred of recognition, only to watch it fizzle as soon as he steps into the room.

he flashes a grin at professor yaga. “i’ll get it in,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “i’m just, you know, prioritizing. some of us have… extracurriculars.” he doesn’t wink, but he might as well.

you resist the urge to scoff, sinking deeper into your seat as the frustration bubbles up, sharp and hot. it’s not like you’re jealous. you’d rather endure anything than admit that. but watching gojo waltz in and immediately siphon off any attention you’d managed to earn feels like a slap. if he could just stop showing up, or better yet, stop pretending to be so casually brilliant, maybe—just maybe—you’d have a chance at something other than this routine invisibility.

you let out a huff, pretending to check the time, imagining you had somewhere better to be. you have brilliant, observant blue eyes following you out the door, but you’re too busy trying to keep yourself together until you reach your dorm, where you ugly cry it out.

which, of course, brings you to mornings like this one, where you actually do have to be somewhere. namely, behind the counter at the campus starbucks, opening up shop while most of the world is still asleep. you catch sight of the green mermaid logo ahead, just visible through the dim haze of a 5:07 a.m. chill.

and right beneath it, there’s a familiar head of silver hair.

your eyes have to double take on the man who seems to be looking a bit slouched, tired and leaning against the light pole while tapping his foot. the muscular yet tall stature and white hair are unmistakable; it’s the same ones you’ve dreamed about throttling. but you’re so confused as to why he’s there that you just decide to wordlessly walk towards the store and open up, ignoring his presence until his voice cuts through the morning silence.

“doesn’t this store open up at 5?” his voice sounds tired and groggy, you notice. 

“uh, yea,” you answer tentatively, shrugging. “but, um, no one comes until 7 so i show up late.”

his eyes narrow and somewhat playfully (well, as playful as he can sound at the ass crack of dawn anyways), he asks, “don’t you know time is of the essence? seems pretty irresponsible to me that you’re not showing up on time.”

you just stare at him for a bit because, after all, this is the guy you’ve been having the murderous equivalent of wet dreams about for the past year talking to you in a friendly, joking, familiar way. needless to say, you’re at a loss of words in your slightly flustered state, so all that comes out is a short “sorry” before you’re walking in, getting ready to put on your apron and setting the oven on to heat up the croissants. 

gojo follows in after you, choosing to sit at the table closest to the counter. he sets the backpack he had on his back down, rummaging through and whipping out his laptop and plugging it in. it’s a heavy old thing, and gojo’s biceps strain as he pulls it out and you almost snort when looking at it in its entirety. a gaming laptop.

 but you don’t do that, because laughing at someone who’s a stranger to you would be mean, no matter how much you hate him, so you resort to setting up the counter and getting some powders out. bending over, you get the newly shipped box of cake pops, deigning to put them out on display until you’re interrupted with a cough.

you turn, looking inquisitively at gojo until he points down to the counter, indicating that he wants to order. you mumble, “just a second!” before you continue hauling the box to put it on the top counter where you can easily unpack it and brush your hands, walking up to gojo and getting the system ready to take his order. 

and your fingers are poised on the buttons until you realize that no order is coming out of his mouth. you blink, and he blinks, keeping a stoic face that nevertheless poorly conceals an amused expression.

“…what can i get you?” 

at that, he pouts. “no good morning? no chirpy hello?”

you just stare at him for a good second. what the fuck?

“what?” gojo frowns. “shouldn’t you do that to every customer?” you realize belatedly you’ve said it out loud in your shock, but shake it off nonetheless. 

the silence lingers after gojo’s teasing comment, making you acutely aware of the odd situation: you’re standing there in your work apron, face-to-face with the man you’ve imagined taking down in your head a thousand times, and yet here he is, tired but playfully trying to chat you up. you should hate this—he’s getting under your skin, but for some reason, you just feel unsettled, disturbed that he’s so human.

you don’t trust your voice to not crack while making eye contact with him, so, instead, you focus on your screen. you settle on a simple, flat, “morning,” without a hint of cheerfulness, staring down at the register like it’s your lifeline.

gojo’s eyebrow quirks at your half-hearted greeting, but he says nothing, opting instead to study you with an amused glint. you can feel his gaze, like a weight on your skin, and it almost makes you shiver. he leans forward a little, propping his elbows on the counter, his posture loose but expectant. his playful energy is barely masking something beneath it, something harder.

gojo's grin is wide, almost boyish, and it makes your stomach churn more than it should.

“see? was that so hard?” he says, leaning forward on his elbows like he’s settling in for a chat. his tone is too friendly for someone who’s never exchanged more than a glance with you in class—someone you’ve been actively avoiding whenever possible.

you scowl, moving to the register to finally punch in his order. “what would you like?”

“hmm...” he taps his chin, dragging out the silence. he’s enjoying this, that much is obvious. “surprise me.”

you blink, fingers still poised over the buttons. “surprise you?”

“yeah,” he says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “you work here. you know what’s good.”

you want to throttle him. really, truly throttle him. there’s no way this is real—no way the gojo satoru is sitting in front of you at 5:07 in the morning, asking you to surprise him with a starbucks order like he’s some quirky regular.

and yet, here you are.

“fine,” you mutter, punching in the order for the sweetest, most ridiculous concoction you can think of. caramel drizzle, extra whipped cream, a pump of every syrup in the back room—you’re not going easy on him. “that’ll be eight dollars.”

he doesn’t blink at the ridiculous price. of course, he doesn’t.

pulling out his phone, he taps it against the card reader and flashes you another grin. “thanks, i’m sure it’ll be great.”

you barely resist the urge to roll your eyes. “uh-huh.”

as you move to make the drink, the silence between you stretches uncomfortably. you’ve spent so much time thinking about gojo, despising him, that now that he’s here, right in front of you, you don’t know how to act. and the worst part? he seems perfectly at ease, completely unfazed by the fact that you’ve spent the better part of a year dreaming of his downfall. he’s back to looking at his stupid heavy ahh gaming laptop, and as you move over to put in copious amounts of caramel pumps, you notice that he’s on cool math games playing fireboy and watergirl and almost snort out loud. he’s locked in on his game, his legs moving up and down anxiously, reminiscent of an ipad kid.

after a few minutes of assembling his monstrosity of a drink, you slide it across the counter. “here,” you say, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice.

gojo raises an eyebrow at the drink, the sheer volume of whipped cream threatening to spill over the lid. “wow,” he says, sounding genuinely impressed. “you really went all out.”

“you said to surprise you.”

“i did,” he admits, grabbing the cup and taking a slow, deliberate sip. his eyes widen slightly at the overly sweet taste, and for a brief moment, you think you’ve won.

but then he smiles again, that same irritatingly carefree smile, and you know you haven’t. 

“so,” gojo begins, leaning back in his chair like he’s settling in for a long conversation. “what’s a genius like you doing working the early shift at starbucks?”

your hands freeze mid-clean, and you glance at him sharply. genius?

you can’t tell if he’s being sincere or mocking you—probably the latter, considering who he is—but the word still lingers in the air between you, unsettling.

you scoff, trying to brush it off. “gotta pay the bills somehow,” you mutter, going back to wiping down the counter. but gojo’s gaze is heavy on you, and you can tell he’s not letting it go.

you glance up at him. “look, i like having time to think in the mornings. it’s quiet. besides, no one’s lining up for coffee before 7, so it’s not like i’m missing anything.”

gojo chuckles softly, but there’s something off about it. “thinking time, huh?” he repeats your words, but there’s a strange edge to them, like he’s mulling them over. in fact, you think you just realize that he’s been acting oddly this entire morning, restlessness evident in his figure. he taps his fingers on the table, his eyes flickering to the window, watching the gray morning light spill into the shop.

“doesn’t it ever feel like…” he trails off, brow furrowing slightly. “i don’t know… like you should be doing something else? like… something more?”

his question hangs in the air, heavy and unspoken, but you get the feeling he’s not talking about you. there’s something in his voice, something that sounds like he’s grappling with his own thoughts, with his own place in the world.

for a moment, you’re tempted to brush him off. to tell him he’s overthinking things, that he’s gojo satoru and he already has everything laid out for him. but something stops you. maybe it’s the way he looks—his usual confidence slightly cracked at the edges, his playful tone masking something else. something deeper.

you shrug, turning back to the counter. “i mean… it doesn’t have to be ‘more’ all the time. sometimes just showing up is enough.”

there’s a pause, and you can feel the weight of your words sinking in. gojo goes quiet, really quiet, and when you glance back at him, his usual smirk is gone. he’s just… staring at you, eyes narrowed slightly like he’s trying to figure you out.

“just… showing up, huh?” he repeats softly, almost like he’s testing the words. his fingers stop tapping, and he leans back in his chair, his gaze unfocused, like he’s somewhere else entirely. somewhere in his own head.

you don’t say anything else. you’ve said your piece, and somehow, you know it hit deeper than either of you expected. there’s a strange silence between you now, not uncomfortable, but heavy with understanding.

gojo stands up after a long pause, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. he looks at you, his usual grin slipping back into place, but it’s softer now. less cocky. more real.

“maybe you’re right,” he says, and this time there’s no teasing in his voice. “sometimes it’s enough just to show up.”

and with that, he gives you a small nod, turning and heading out into the cold morning. the door swings shut behind him, and for a second, you just stand there, staring after him.

something’s shifted. you don’t know what it is, but it feels like the start of something. something bigger than just a rivalry.

you shake your head, turning back to the counter. it’s too early for this shit.

…

“you know, i didn’t get your name.”

gojo’s voice cuts through the low hum of the espresso machine as he leans against the counter, that same insufferable grin plastered across his face. he’s here again, of course, only this time it’s during your closing shift. the place is quiet, almost deserted except for the occasional customer who swings by for a quick coffee before heading back out into the cold.

you look up from the equipment you were cleaning, already annoyed. “i’m pretty sure we’ve shared at least one class every semester.”

you weren’t trying to hide the pettiness. gojo, for all his academic genius, clearly couldn’t be bothered to remember you—a recurring face in his orbit. it’s not like you were expecting him to remember you, especially among the sea of faces in lecture halls, but something about the way he strolled in, acting like this was just some cute, quirky meet-cute, got under your skin.

gojo quirks an eyebrow in confusion, his gaze drifting up toward the ceiling as if searching the recesses of his mind for your name—only to come up empty. “are you a grad student?”

you flash him an exasperated look. “just for that, i’m not telling you.”

grabbing a towel to wipe your hands, you step out from behind the barista counter, heading towards the trash can just behind him to restock the straws. as you make your way to the supply room, you can feel his eyes following your every move. to your surprise, gojo starts walking toward you, his presence looming as you dump the straws into the container.

it isn’t until you turn around that you realize he’s standing right next to you, bent comically at the waist and squinting at something on your chest. heat creeps up your neck and into your cheeks as you realize his proximity and move to take a step back. 

he wasn’t ogling you (thank god), but instead, squinting at the nametag pinned to your apron.

"ah," he says, straightening up with a triumphant grin. “there it is. y/n, huh?” the way his mouth rolls over your name slowly makes you feel a bit weird, because after all, this is the guy you’ve shit talked about in your diary finally acknowledging you existed, but before you can reflect on the feeling, you bristle again in annoyance. 

“really? you had to get that close just to read my name?”

gojo doesn’t seem fazed by your annoyance, in fact, it only seems to amuse him further. “hey, i was just trying to be thorough. gotta make sure i get it right, you know?” his grin widens, and you swear he’s enjoying this way too much.

“thorough. sure.” you turn away, trying to busy yourself with the straws again, but the heat still lingers on your face. his proximity had been… unexpected. and a little too close for comfort.

when you’re done with the straws, you steel the courage to turn your body so you’re facing him, making an indication with your hands for him to move out of your way. instead of him giving you space to leave the cramped corner, he leans against the counter now like he practically owns the place. in doing so, he effectively pins you against the corner of the coffee shop, leaving you no option but to fiddle with the straws while pointedly avoiding his gaze, but not before you see the pout on his face. “you’re not going to ask me for my name?”

“i know it. it’s gojo.” you immediately curse yourself for letting your lips loose.

fuck. he squints his eyes in what you perceive as suspicion. “how do you know my name?”

“i saw it on your credit card information.” you couldn’t exactly tell him how you’ve stalked him (as well as how inefficient you found a function in his 6th grade robotics code), so that would be a plausible enough reason. 

but gojo, of course, doesn’t let up. “so, y/n,” he starts. “you going to the party next week? you know, for halloweekend?”

ah, halloweekend. the ultimate weekend for getting excuses to dress slutilly, excessively drink, and get laid. at your college, it was an even bigger deal, with people partying for all three days of the week’s end as well as the weekend before and after halloween. you shook your head. “i don’t think so.” that phys 321 assignment was not going to finish itself, nor were parties really your scene.

“what?” he immediately crosses his arms across his chest, frowning and leaning closer to you to squint at you. “why?”

you sigh inwardly, awkward at the prospect of him bugging you further about your life. “i’m bu—”

you’re interrupted by the sound of the door opening and instinctively move to get behind the counter to take the new customer’s order; at first, you thank the heavens that you got a distraction from gojo, that you’re not alone anymore, but seeing who the customer was, the hope extinguishes like a candle face with wind.

you both see a man swagger in, the same guy you’ve noticed hanging around far too often lately. his eyes immediately lock onto you, and a slow, sleazy grin spreads across his face.

“hey, look who’s still here,” the man says, sauntering over to the counter like he owns the place. “my favorite barista.”

you tense, forcing a smile. “what can i get you?”

he doesn’t answer right away, his gaze sliding down your body in a way that makes your skin crawl. “i was thinking…” he drawls, leaning in closer than necessary, “you and i should hang out. you’re always here, and i’m always here, so it’s like fate or something, right?”

your stomach churns, and you take a small step back, maintaining your composure. “i’m good, thanks.”

but he doesn’t let up, leaning further across the counter. “come on, don’t be like that. just one drink. you deserve it after a long day.”

“i really can’t—”

“don’t be shy,” he interrupts, a grin spreading wider. “i’m a nice guy, i promise.”

before you can think of another polite rejection, gojo steps forward, his body language shifting entirely. the playful air around him evaporates, replaced by something colder, more dangerous. he positions himself squarely between you and the guy, effectively cutting off the man’s view of you.

“she said no,” gojo says, his voice firm, low. “so why don’t you fuck off?”

the sleazy guy blinks, clearly not expecting the sudden shift. his smile fades, and he glares at gojo, sizing him up like he’s considering pushing back. but one glance at gojo’s unwavering stare, and the guy decides it’s not worth it. with a muttered curse, he turns and leaves, the door swinging shut behind him.

you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. the guy’s been bothering you routinely; part of you thinks that he’s still not going to leave you alone, but the rest of you visibly relaxes, the weight of this guy’s harassment lifting off your shoulders under gojo’s protection.

gojo turns back to you, the usual teasing smirk creeping back onto his face, though his eyes are still sharp. “you okay?”

“yeah,” you manage, though your voice is quieter than you’d like. “thanks for that.”

“don’t mention it.” he shrugs it off like it was nothing, but there’s something different in the way he’s looking at you now—something protective. “i know you’re perfectly capable of handling yourself, but i figured i’d speed things up a bit.”

you roll your eyes, trying to shake off the tension. “you’re such a hero, gojo.”

“always,” he replies with a wink. and just like that, the moment’s lightened again, the balance between you restored, though there’s a subtle shift in the air. something unspoken between the two of you—an understanding, maybe.

you don’t acknowledge it out loud, but as you go back to restocking, you find yourself glancing at him more than before. and for the first time in… well, ever, you don’t completely mind his presence.

…

fast forward a few hours, and after a bit of conversation, gojo finally leaves the fine institution that is your campus starbucks. right now, you’re alone and finishing cleaning up. you lock up, the starbucks finally closed, finishing your last task for the night. it’s quiet—too quiet, actually, with the usual streetlights casting strange shadows across the empty sidewalk. the air feels heavy, like something unseen is lingering just out of reach, watching from the dark. you shake it off, telling yourself you’re just tired and letting your nerves get to you.

as you start your walk back to your dorm, the feeling only grows. the street’s nearly empty, and with each step, the silence presses in closer. it’s fine, you tell yourself, picking up your pace. but then you hear it: the echo of footsteps, faint but unmistakable. heart pounding, you speed up, every instinct telling you to just get back. almost there. you just have to cross the alley—

“hey there,” a voice drawls, and your stomach sinks. a hand moves to grab at your shoulder, making you turn quickly. what meets your vision is the same guy from earlier, his grin widening in a way that makes your skin crawl.

you try to move out of his grip, but he grabs you harder, cutting off any escape. “aw, don’t be like that. i just wanted some company.”

your throat’s dry, but you manage, “i said no.”

he doesn’t even pretend to listen, his gaze trailing over you with that same leering interest. “no need to be so uptight. i could make this fun for you.”

your back hits the wall of the alley. trapped. he leans in, his breath warm and sour against your face, one hand reaching out as he says something sleazy that you can barely hear over the pounding in your ears—

and then a voice cuts in from above, all easy humor. “y’know, i always thought this city’s trash problem was bad, but this is something else.”

your heart leaps in your chest at the small flicker of hope, that someone has the balls to try to rescue you. but as you—and this creep—turn, you find no evidence of another party present, only his mysterious presence. 

“who’s there?” the guy snarls, his grip tightening so much that you wince. “why don’t you get lost if you know what’s good for you—”

“dude, don’t you have any rizz?” the mysterious boy retorts.the stranger has a youthful voice, someone of your age.  “the way you have to resort to sexual harassment is just sad. you guys are always sooo predictable, you’re so gonna tell me to scram or something.”

the man scowls, hand leaving your arm in an effort to search for the stranger in the dark. “why don’t you mind your own business, punk—”

and he’s interrupted, because a shiny, silver something flings out in the darkness and lands on his face, sending his arms in a frenzy to uncover what it is. the man rips the sticky, silver webbing off his face with a growl, looking around wildly, his expression shifting from confusion to anger. his eyes dart through the dark alley, searching for the source of that cocky voice, but there’s nothing—just shadows and the faint flicker of a streetlamp somewhere down the block.

“who the hell are you?” he snaps, twisting his neck as if he could scare whoever’s hiding out there into the open. “show yourself, you bastard!”

a chuckle echoes from the darkness, bouncing off the brick walls. “wow, real tough guy, huh? but you should work on those anger issues. they’re, uh…a bit unbecoming.”

the man spins around, and another burst of webbing flies out from somewhere unseen, sticking to his shoulder this time. he yanks it off with a frustrated grunt, his head whipping from side to side as he tries to locate the stranger.

“you think this is funny?” he spits, voice raised in a mix of fear and fury.

“depends. do you?” the voice is closer now, almost like the stranger is right above you, yet no one’s there. “or is this just a big overreaction? all i did was suggest you rethink your approach. go to therapy or sum’.”

the man snarls, fists clenched, starting to look downright unhinged. “get down here and say that to my face, punk!”

“as you wish.”

with a soft thump, a figure drops from above, landing directly in front of the guy in a low crouch. in the dim light, all you see at first are the blue and black accents on the otherwise white suit, his head tilting up, illuminated just enough that his white, wide eyes glow with a certain playful menace. and then, your eyes widen as you gasp to yourself. 

you’ve seen him before.

okay, pause.

you’re a busy college student, one who stays entrenched in the bubble of upcoming exams, assignments, and problem sets that you don’t check the news often. in the off chance you do turn from your usual consumption of social media during your breaks to the news, you only have time to read the big headlines.

so you did read somewhere that in your university’s city of new york city, there was a masked menan—vigilante that had beat up a few guys near a shawarma joint or prevented some shootings at a nightclub. new york city was full of incompetent cops that were on the lookout for him (a/n acabbbbbb) since this guy was a vigilante, some kind of superhero slinging around on webs. some name—spiderman.

but before you could read more into the article, your soul almost left your body when you got a canvas notification saying your midterm was graded, so that was the end of that.

alright, pause over. back to now.

“hi!” spiderman chirps, giving him a friendly wave before ducking just as the man throws a punch. the swing goes wide, and spiderman straightens up with a disappointed sigh. “see, this is why i’m the one with the web powers. you’d hurt yourself with these moves.”

without warning, the man charges again, swinging in rapid succession, but each one misses as spiderman easily sidesteps, practically dancing around him. “oof, dude, how did you make it this far in life with reflexes like that?” he ducks another blow, slipping behind the guy to give him a light tap on the shoulder as he passes.

the man stumbles, eyes flashing with frustration, and lets out a roar, reaching down to pick up a loose brick from the alley floor. he raises it above his head, face twisted in a snarl.

“oh, so we’re improvising now?” spiderman quips, and before the man can bring the brick down, a strand of webbing shoots out, sticking to the brick and yanking it from his grasp. it flies off somewhere into the alley, landing with a dull clatter.

the guy stumbles forward, off balance, and spiderman takes the opportunity to web his feet to the ground, immobilizing him in place. the man struggles, pulling his legs, but he’s stuck fast.

“ever heard of boundaries?” spiderman asks, tilting his head with mock innocence. “or, like, self-restraint? you should look into it.”

the man glares, seething, still struggling against the webs. “you think you’re some kinda hero?” he sneers.

spiderman shrugs, glancing over at you, catching your gaze in a way that makes you feel both strangely comforted and seen. “nah, hero’s a big word. i’m just your friendly neighborhood guy with slightly above-average reflexes.”

with a frustrated yell, the man finally wrenches one arm free and makes a desperate lunge, his fist connecting with spiderman’s side. spiderman lets out a small grunt but only wobbles slightly before grinning. “okay, buddy, playtime’s over.”

before the man can even react, spiderman sends out another web, this time at his wrist, effectively pinning him to the alley wall. he struggles, face twisted in anger, but spiderman just raises a gloved hand to his lips as if hushing a child. then, in the lull that follows, you remember the thick quantum mechanics textbook in your bag. without thinking, you yank it out and, in a burst of adrenaline, swing it at the man’s head. the book lands with a solid thud, and he slumps, finally, into silence.

spiderman looks at the unconscious man, then at the textbook in your hand. he lets out a low whistle. “you know, i’ve always thought textbooks were a weapon of choice, but that’s next-level dedication.” that’s when you realize just how tall he is compared to you, and you can’t help your excitement when you realize that he’s here in the flesh.

“nice hit, by the wa—”

“it’s you!” you exclaim. 

“what?” he sputters, white eyes widening almost comically. “me? oh,” then he straightens up, “yea, yea. just your friendly neighborhood spiderman. rescuing pretty girls from creeps, kinda my thing. ” he shrugs.

you continue, excitedly, “right, you’re the one on the news—” you move your hand to point at him but quickly wince, the pain of the man’s grip catching up to you. 

he doesn’t miss the movement, eyes squinting at you. “hey, we’ll have to get you home. do you trust me?”

you look at him, clutching your arm in pain, and really take a moment to check him out. he’s saved you, he’s probably six feet tall, and his ass looks fantastic in his suit. at this point, you’re looking at him with heart eyes. but you can’t exactly tell him you want him to propose, so all you utter out is a “y-yeah. my dorm’s randall.”

he doesn't waste any time. with a quick nod, he hooks an arm around your waist, pulling you close as he aims a webline up toward the buildings. “hold on tight, randall’s just a swing away,” he murmurs, his voice light but steady. his hand settles on your hip, and you can't stop the way your stomach flips at the contact.

before you can even process what’s happening, he launches the two of you into the air, the city blurring beneath your feet as you cling to him, fingers gripping the fabric of his suit for dear life. his arm stays solid around you, his grip somehow both gentle and strong. he lands lightly on the roof of your dorm, setting you down carefully like you’re something fragile. and he steps back, dusting his hands off in the most nonchalant way possible, like he didn’t just take you on the most exhilarating ride of your life.

“this is your stop,” he says, that signature, almost cocky smile playing in his voice.

“uh… yeah. thanks. for the rescue,” you manage, your voice a little shakier than you’d like. you don’t know if “thank you” is enough—it doesn’t even come close to covering what you feel.

but he just shrugs, taking a step back. “all in a day’s work,” he says. “or night’s work, i guess.” he pauses, giving you a quick once-over. “get some sleep, yeah?”

and just like that, he gives you a small, almost playful salute and vanishes, swinging off into the night as easily as he’d appeared, leaving you standing on the rooftop with your heart still racing.

back in your dorm room, you drop onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling as tonight’s events replay in your head: the alley, his voice cutting through the dark, that cocky smirk, the way he felt holding onto you as you soared over the city lights. a tiny part of you wonders if you imagined the whole thing—if maybe you’re just the victim of some wild, sleep-deprived hallucination.

but no, your arm still aches from where the creep grabbed you, and you can still feel the ghost of his hand on your waist, steady and reassuring. you bite your lip, a smile creeping onto your face despite yourself.

just before sleep finally claims you, you let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head at the absurdity of it all. “the city’s vigilante, huh?” you murmur, as if he’s somehow still listening.

the thought is wild, a bit surreal—and strangely comforting.

…

“one caffe americano!” you call out, reading the label on the cup before handing it over with a small nod. the customer takes it with a quick thanks, and you return to the counter, barely holding back a yawn. the events of last night flicker through your mind—a web-slinging hero, an alley, the lingering ache in your arm—and you shake it off. there’s no room for distractions. life as a college student means the grind never stops, especially on a morning shift right before class.

when your coworker finally arrives, you let out a quiet sigh of relief, grab your bag, and step out into the brisk morning air. the chill helps wake you up as you make your way across campus, hoping to catch up with your friends before the lecture starts. just outside the building, you spot utahime, sitting on a bench, waiting with her usual tired smile.

“hey, finally off the clock?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“yeah, barely,” you reply, rolling your eyes. “i’m still running on fumes from last night. you guys save me a seat?”

“of course. nanami’s already inside,” she says, gesturing toward the building.

you sigh. “you won’t believe the things that happened last night.”

she gives you a look, in the traditional utahime protective-mother-hen type way. “what happened?”

you give her the rundown of what happened, the guy (who she bristles at, gives you a slap at your hand to tell you that you should’ve told her earlier, kento would’ve been able to beat his ass if she hadn’t gotten to it first) and how spiderman saved you. ���i would give him what he’s missing,” you sigh, dreamily. 

utahime looks at you in a judgmental way. “and that’s all you got from this? for fucks sake, he’s a vigilante, you don’t know if he’s started to tail you or not. pooks, he could literally be dangerous. try to convince your boss to let someone else get your night shift.” as soon as you open your mouth to protest, she cuts you off immediately. “and no, i don’t give a fuck about your people pleaser tendenci—”

“we’ll revisit this conversation later.” you give her a sweet smile as you start to speed walk, door of the lecture hall of the 9am section of phys401: intro to quantum algorithms, falling in with the usual stream of students after you hear an irritated “yea, cause i’m gonna kill you otherwise.” the familiar chatter and echo of footsteps make the day feel almost normal, grounding you as you weave through the hall.

inside, you quickly spot kento’s shining, disney prince-like blonde hair, who has saved seats for the three of you near the middle of the hall, away from the ugly, smelly grad students who always crowd the front. he gives you a quick nod as you settle down beside him, flipping open your notebook. the reliable calm on his face helps ease the lingering jitters you hadn’t realized you were carrying.

“long night?” he asks, glancing at the dark circles under your eyes.

“you could say that,” you mumble, not quite ready to get into details. instead, you wave it off. “just work assignments, and getting jumped, the usual.”

nanami breaks into a series of shocked coughs, and you hurry to pat his back as he undeniably burns his tongue on the coffee he was taking a sip of. “what?”

his rather loud exclamation sets off stares from people sitting closer to you both, so you give utahime, who lets out a quiet groan as she’s settling into her seat beside you, a knowing look. “it’s a long story, i’ll tell it to you later.”

he reluctantly settles in after that, not because he has a choice but because yaga is starting to address the class by asking about the weekend and getting his usual blank stares in return until a voice you recognize as suguru geto’s is saying something to undeniably piss him off, but you don’t register quite what it is exactly because the door opens and any attention on geto is directed to the boy with white hair and blue eyes tiredly walking into class. 

he’s about ten minutes late to the lecture, which is already weird because he’s usually about 27 seconds late, not that you keep count. but also, normally gojo is the picture of confidence and cockyness, making some of the female grad students whisper things about him that you don’t think they should be for the five year gap between them and gojo. 

but today, he looks different—messy, unkempt, with shadows under his eyes and a weird angle to his torso, the way he walks, and the way his opposite hand is subconsciously hovering around his side.

your brows knit together as he heads to an empty seat rows behind you next to geto, ignoring the stares of half the room. it’s so out of character for him that you can’t help but wonder what’s going on. you shoot utahime a knowing look, and she stifles a laugh, barely managing to keep a straight face as she watches gojo slink to his seat. nanami’s usually impassive face exchanges a look with you as well before he turns his attention back to professor yaga’s opening remarks. gojo slides into the row behind you without a word, avoiding everyone’s gaze—or so you think, until you feel it.

as you attempt to listen to professor yaga, you can’t shake the sensation of eyes boring into the back of your head. you resist the urge to turn, telling yourself it’s probably nothing… except the feeling lingers, so strong that your pulse ticks up a notch.

“okay, now that we’re all here,” yaga says in a dry tone, barely able to hide his irritation as he glances pointedly in gojo’s direction, “let’s begin with today’s lecture on grover’s.”

professor yaga taps the board, and the projector switches to a set of slides titled quantum speed-up and the grover search algorithm. he launches into his explanation, voice clipped. “grover’s algorithm provides a quadratic speed-up for unstructured search problems, a notable advantage in quantum computing. but can anyone tell me why this isn’t considered an exponential improvement?”

you raise your hand, as does nanami. a subtle shift of movement in your peripheral vision draws your eye to gojo, who’s leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. yaga’s attention lands on nanami first, and he gives a succinct answer about how grover’s algorithm yields only a quadratic speed-up in terms of computational complexity. as he answers, you swear you catch gojo watching you, again, through the corner of your eye.

determined not to let him get under your skin, you lean over to whisper to nanami. “what’s with him today?”

nanami, still watching yaga, raises a brow. “maybe he finally realized that he can’t get by without skipping class today.”

utahime snickers quietly. “doubtful. more like he thinks it’s funny to waltz in whenever he likes and still ace every test.”

“exactly.” you sigh, drumming your pen against your notebook. gojo’s rare absences don’t even seem to faze most professors. and despite his unpredictable attendance, he’s always managed to stay miles ahead. today, though, something’s… different about him. like he’s made a life changing decision in the past 48 hours.

“moving on,” yaga says, pointing to the board where the next slide materializes. “the heart of grover’s algorithm lies in its use of an amplitude amplification technique, where we iterate a search oracle along with an inversion process. pay attention—this concept of iterative improvement will become key when we start covering variational quantum algorithms.”

as yaga delves deeper into amplitude amplification, you manage to focus, jotting down notes on the necessary steps in grover’s search. yet each time you settle into the lecture, you feel gojo’s gaze pricking at you. the first time you turn around, there’s nothing there—just him slouched, seemingly absorbed in whatever he’s staring at on the ceiling. but then, you sense it again and, on your second glance, you catch his blue eyes meeting yours, and he quickly looks away.

what’s his problem? you give him a questioning look, but he’s adamantly not looking at you, trying to look nonchalant as he’s pulling out his laptop. he might look like a student taking latexing notes of what yaga’s yapping about, but the way he’s using his mouse more than he is his keyboard tells you that he’s probably on papa’s freezeria instead.

you decide that you’re going to waste your time wondering how gojo’s brain functioned, so you instead focus back on the lecture. after all, you didn’t understand any of the lecture notes you took notes on before and what it said about the diffuser in the circuit. 

“now,” yaga’s voice sharpens, pulling you back into the room, “these iterations act as amplitude amplification steps, so pay close attention—especially those of you who have a habit of being late.” his eyes slide back to gojo, who remains oblivious, leaning back with a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as the sound of his name brings him back to the lecture.

gojo doesn’t even look phased. instead, he raises a hand casually, like he’s about to ask a simple question. you can feel the anticipation ripple through the room—half the students are waiting to see if he’ll fumble, and the other half already know better.

“professor yaga,” he drawls, “don’t you think amplitude amplification is a bit of an oversimplification? the way it’s typically presented, you’d think grover’s algorithm was just… guessing with style.” he flashes an infuriatingly smug smile, drawing out the pause before continuing. “but we both know it’s more about quantum phase inversion, right? the oracle reflects about the mean state, iterating with a precision that isn’t just luck. or maybe that’s all too technical?” he leans back, feigning innocence.

the smugness in his tone makes something flare up in you, and before you can stop yourself, your hand shoots up.

“actually, gojo,” you interject, your voice louder than you intended, “calling it “guessing with style” is a very gross oversimplification. grover’s algorithm isn’t about intuition or luck. it’s about optimization. it’s not just about spotlighting a target like a rando guess, it’s more like rotating the probability in a controlled manner—with iterations—to amplify the correct solution. not just some quantum trick or guess.” you cross your arms, leaning back in your chair as you stare him down. “it’s not even that bad, compared to what we have classically.”

as soon as you spoke, it seems that the fight and mischievous look in gojo’s eyes fades, replacing it with something that shockingly looks like him being flustered as he averts your gaze, looks to the ceiling, and murmurs something like “yea, that’s basically most of quantum computing, desperately trying to prove we’re not just wasting our time” but yaga interrupts him, clearly a bit annoyed at the two know-it-alls that you and gojo were acting like. 

“now,” yaga says, shifting back to the lecture as if nothing happened (probably because he wasn’t paid enough to deal with this shit), “these iterations act as amplitude amplification steps, so pay close attention—especially those of you who have a habit of missing lectures.”

you’re just left confused as to why the conversation didn’t escalate like the typical academic rivals in movies, because you’ve definitely seen gojo bully some people who didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about instead of just blushing like some schoolgirl. regardless, you can’t help but notice the thrill that you felt, having finally argued with him, having been seen as someone worth arguing. you try to temper it as yaga continues onto the rest of the lecture.

…

“i can’t believe you’re making me go.” you tug at the hem of your white corset, paired with a matching skirt, still incredulous at how utahime managed to talk you into attending one of the infamous halloween frat parties. the night air is crisp against your exposed shoulders, and despite your complaints, you shiver more at the thought of wasting the next few hours among sweaty strangers than the actual cold.

utahime, walking beside you in a devil-red version of your outfit—complete with horns perched precariously on her head—looks far too satisfied with herself. she adjusts the horns with one hand, giving you a sidelong glance that practically drips with smugness.

“stop pouting,” she chides. “i’m not going to let you waste another night holed up in your room, buried in manhwa or quantum physics. i’m pretty sure there are cobwebs growing in your—”

“utahime,” you hiss, cutting her off with a mortified glance around.

“pussy,” she finishes, completely unbothered. “i’m going to find you a guy to hook up with. i’m not saying you have to go all the way, but flirting? kissing? maybe something more? very healthy. highly encouraged.”

your mouth falls open in protest, but before you can get a word in, she fixes you with a sharp glare, her dark eyes flashing with all the authority of a disappointed parent. “don’t even think about arguing with me. i swear, if you don’t at least try to enjoy this, i’ll make it my personal mission to find someone for you.”

“i can’t believe this,” you mutter, crossing your arms. “you’re supposed to be my friend, not my pimp.”

“oh, i’m your friend. that’s why i’m doing this. you’ll thank me when you’re sixty and not crying about how boring your college life was.”

“i’m not boring,” you counter. “i’m selective.”

“sure,” utahime drawls, clearly unconvinced. “and whatever weird sexual tension you’ve got going on with gojo doesn’t count.”

you scoff, stopping in your tracks to stare at her. “what tension? we’ve literally talked once this week. and that was the first time we had a conversation.”

she doesn’t respond, already scanning the scene ahead. the street of frat houses looms just ahead, glowing with gaudy orange lights strung up across balconies. the bass from the nearest party reverberates through the pavement underfoot. it’s already crowded, hordes of people shuffling in and out, laughing, shouting, and showcasing their half-baked halloween costumes.

you follow utahime’s gaze to the nearest house, packed with enough people to make the windows fog up. just the thought of squeezing into that humidity makes your stomach churn.

“looks crowded,” you mumble. “maybe we should—”

before you can suggest retreating, utahime grabs your wrist and practically drags you toward the house. “nope. you’re coming in. no backing out now.”

the moment you step inside, the smell hits you. sweat, stale beer, and an undercurrent of what you can only describe as frat-house musk. your nose wrinkles, and you instinctively recoil, pulling your arm free from utahime’s grasp.

“god, it smells like a gym locker in here,” you say, covering your nose.

utahime doesn’t seem fazed. she’s already scanning the room, her eyes landing on a beer pong table set up in the corner, surrounded by cheering students. “this is perfect!” she says, beaming.

“for what? contracting a fungal infection?” you mutter.

but she’s no longer listening, her focus shifting as a tall, broad-shouldered guy in a makeshift cowboy hat approaches her and then stops in front of both of you, his stare fully enthralled by utahime. “hey,” he says, a bit suavely, in the way that makes you inwardly roll your eyes because you know she’s going to eat it up. she likes it when they’re a little ugly, and this guy fits the bill. 

“hey,” and she giggles, making you have to physically fight the urge to puke, “what’s up?”

 they exchange a few words, and before you know it, she’s smiling in that way that tells you she’s found her entertainment for the night.

“go ahead,” you say dryly, waving her off. “i’ll just fend for myself.”

utahime starts to protest, but you’re already beelining for the kitchen, trying to get a drink that’s not too crazy to survive the night. it’s surprisingly less chaotic in the kitchen, though the counters are cluttered with half-empty bottles, red solo cups, and some questionable punch that looks radioactive. you scan the room, your eyes landing on a cupboard that might hold something simple—like water. a series of ding! ding! ding!’s go off in your mind as you find the pack of plastic water bottles. 

standing on your toes, you reach for the handle, but it’s just out of your grasp. you huff in frustration, shifting to get better leverage when a hand way bigger than yours suddenly appears above yours, effortlessly grabbing the item you were reaching for.

“let me get that for you.”

you turn to thank the person, the words dying on your lips when you see who it is.

gojo.

he’s standing impossibly close, his signature smirk firmly in place, but there’s something almost casual in the way he looks at you, as if this is the most normal interaction in the world. you swear you’re so close that you can see like the two open pores on his otherwise flawless skin, as his eyes inevitably drag themselves downwards to scan your outfit for the night—a shitty angel without wings and halo (you couldn’t be paid two shits to put in the effort; both of the top and skirt were utahime’s, anyways.) then, his eyes meet yours again, a bit of playfulness in them. 

“well, well,” he drawls, handing you the water bottle. “never thought i’d see you here.”

you take the bottle, trying to ignore the brush of his fingers against yours. “didn’t have much of a choice. utahime dragged me.”

his grin widens. “classic. let me guess—she’s off trying to find her soulmate at the beer pong table?”

“something like that,” you mumble, not wanting to give him the entire story. twisting the cap off the bottle,  you take a sip, hoping he’ll just leave you alone, but instead, he leans against the counter, looking entirely too comfortable.

“so,” he says, tilting his head, “i heard through the grapevine that you had a run-in with that spider-man guy this week.”

that makes you pause mid-gulp of water, instead coughing a bit as you try to swallow it down without basically drowning in kirkland signature natural spring water. you’ve only told like, three people outside of kento and iori, so you’re confused why he knows this information, but you continue on regardless. the memory of spider-man swinging in to save you flashes through your mind, and you can’t help but smile softly to yourself. “it was amazing. he’s—he’s incredible, honestly. the way he just swooped in and handled everything? so fast, so precise. he’s like a real-life superhero.”

you’re basically gushing to him, and you realize that a bit too late as you look at his face to gauge his reaction. he’s looking at you with a newfound interest, albeit a bit too conflicted to fully tease you about it when he says, “sounds like you’re smitten.”

“maybe i am,” you admit, laughing. “i mean, who wouldn’t be? he’s brave, he’s kind, and he doesn’t even stick around for the credit. it’s like he’s this selfless, untouchable figure.” you also kind of want to give him a sloppy toppy for saving you like that, but you spare gojo the details. 

“untouchable, huh?” gojo echoes, his tone turning a bit wry and…jealous? “sounds like someone’s got a crush.”

you roll your eyes, but it’s half-hearted, and you think gojo can tell with the way you’re heating up and bashfully looking at the ground. “don’t be ridiculous.”

“i’m just saying,” he continues, leaning closer, “if that’s your type, you might want to raise your standards. superheroes are overrated.”

you raise an eyebrow. “and what, you’re not?”

he grins, that infuriatingly charming grin that makes you want to simultaneously punch him and laugh. “i’m better. i’m real.” he then puts his hands on the counter behind you, caging you between them until your knees are lightly brushing, and suddenly his face is so close that small little breaths from his nose are fanning across your face. “i can prove that to you.”

and you hate your body for being so…reactive and enthusiastic to his smooth-talking, face flushing. despite that, you try to put on an air of nonchalance. “god, you’re insufferable.”

“really?” he teases. his hand leaves the marble counter to hover at your hip, his hand subconsciously tracing your curves an inch above your skin. the motion, firm but tentative as if he’s waiting for you to give him the green light, makes you shiver as you subconsciously move your hips to finally have the skin-to-skin contact. and your skin sings in happiness as he draws circles into the area right below your skirt, even momentarily dipping just below, to which you realize that he’s treading very close to your panties, since your skirt’s really short.

"yea," you basically sigh, hating yourself for how breathy your voice sounds. 

it seems to have an effect on gojo because his eyes darken as he murmurs, "wastin' your time on that spiderman guy."

maybe it's the fact that it's late (you've been getting sub four hours of sleep this past week) or the lights in this humid frat bring a heady air, but all academic-rivalry-overshadowed-woman-in-stem history between you and gojo disappears in your brain as you rake your eyes up and down his torso and then look at him through your lashes. "who should i spend my time on instead?"

he gives you a little smile as he stares down at you, eyes raking over your face, catching at your lips and then going back up again to meet yours. “i don’t know, someone who’s as smart as you,” he murmurs.

“yea?” you laugh out breathlessly. your faces are so close that in normal circumstances, you would worry about how you both looked so close together, one hand on your thigh and the other splayed on your waist. “and how would you know how smart i am?”

satoru starts, lips coming closer and closer. “because i—”

but he’s interrupted, because you both hear a “satoru” and pull apart, breathing heavily as you both turn to look at the offender standing in the entrance of the kitchen: suguru geto, gojo’s best friend, looking more tired than anything as his eyes catch on you, then going to gojo with a pointed look. it’s not hard to figure out what was going on based on how disheveled you both look, your skirt crooked and his shirt crumbled, and your cheeks heat. before you can say anything, however, suguru sighs and says to gojo, “there’s a burglary happening nearby.” then, he turns but not before giving you a nod. “make sure to stay safe.”

he promptly leaves, leaving you confused standing there. was this such an emergency worth noting that he interrupted his best friend?

you try to seek the answer in gojo’s face, but he has this conflicted, annoyed countenance and you suddenly feel kinda of insecure because he’s raking his hand through his hair, staring painfully at the ceiling then at you. at the same time you utter out a “uh–” he says “i have to go.”

“oh.” you blink. a why brews on top of your tongue, but you temper it, reminding yourself that you’re not close to gojo like that. needless to say, you feel a little embarrassed as you watch him jog out of the kitchen with a little wave to you. you want to overanalyze gojo’s last look to you, the one that looked a bit like disappointment and yearning, but you shake it off, staring at the 16.9 oz plastic water bottle in your hand that you forgot about.

taking a sip, you cringe as you become more aware of your surroundings and the state you’re left in because of gojo. that your panties are a bit more sticky—you reach under your skirt to adjust them so they don’t stick to your crotch so much—and you’re hot all over. 

then reality comes crashing back. what the hell did you and gojo just do right now?

you groan out loud, banging your head against the fridge, but as you reel back, in your peripheral you see  someone there. your head shoots to see the guy who’s now looking at you with a weird expression as he undeniably waits for whatever freaking out you were doing to gain access to the fridge. 

“sorry,” you blurt out, and gather yourself to beeline for the exit. god, you needed to find utahime.

…

the soft hum of a tv in the corner of satoru’s apartment provided the only sound, save for the faint rustle of suguru flipping through a textbook. the remnants of takeout—boxes of half-eaten pad thai and a pile of discarded chopsticks—littered the coffee table between them. satoru leaned back on the couch, legs stretched out, staring at the ceiling like it held answers he hadn’t thought to ask yet. he held a small foam ball, tossing it up and catching it over and over. his mind, however, wasn’t focused on the ball but on you.

it was starting to feel like an obsession. he’d always been able to compartmentalize things—his studies, his friends, his other responsibilities. but you? you’d broken through the usual barriers in his head, wedging yourself firmly into every free thought he had.

“do you think she likes me?” he asked suddenly, breaking the quiet.

suguru glanced up from his book, his expression unreadable. “who, starbucks girl?”

satoru scoffed. “she’s not starbucks girl. she’s…” he trailed off, tapping his fingers against his knee. your name lingered on his tongue, oddly weighty in a way that felt almost unfamiliar.

suguru smirked. “oh, she’s got a name now? progress.”

“shut up.”

but he couldn’t shut his mind off, not when you kept taking up space in it. it wasn’t just that he’d noticed you now—really noticed you, for the first time. it was more than that.

satoru had always known who you were. you weren’t exactly easy to miss. in a program full of ugly guys who didn’t shower and loud personalities, you had carved out your niche by being the cold, unreachable one. the one who didn’t bother with group projects unless she had to, who barely engaged in conversations beyond what was strictly necessary. other guys in the program talked about you, of course. they always did.

“frigid,” they called you. “too serious. probably thinks she’s better than us.”

they weren’t entirely wrong. you were better than most of them, but not for the reasons they assumed. satoru had read your work—papers that brimmed with insights that most of their half-baked theories could only dream of. he could tell you put in the effort in your classes and research, while all the guys left shit-talking had to rely on their grad student mentors to be able to write a legible paper. for fucks sake, he doesn’t even thing anyone could code in qiskit or cirq like you could; he had skimmed your notes once, left them behind after a lecture, and found them meticulous and sharp before he turned them into the professor to return to you.

and yet, despite the brilliance you carried with you, you had never given him a second glance.

that day at starbucks, though.

satoru rolled his head to the side, gaze drifting toward the window. he hadn’t expected to see anyone at five in the morning, let alone you. he’d been desperate for answers then—he had spent his night staring at his hands, which had seemed to keep ejecting spider-like webs after he’d been horribly sick. he knew he shouldn’t have gone fooling around in new york’s subway tunnels at 3am with suguru and shoko, but after a seemingly-harmless spider had bit him, he had been reeling from the discovery of his newfound powers and grappling with the weight of what they meant ever since. 

and there you were, unlocking the starbucks, bleary-eyed but no less composed.

you’d handed him his coffee, not interested in him the entire time, and he remembered blurting something out—something ridiculous about fate or responsibility, his usual bravado faltering in the quiet of the moment. he had been spiraling, unsure of who he was anymore, and you’d said something.

what was it again?

“it doesn’t have to be ‘more’ all the time. sometimes just showing up is enough.”

the words had stayed with him, carved deep into the corners of his mind. you didn’t know it, but they had pulled him back from the edge that day. since then, he’d started noticing you in ways he hadn’t before.

the way you brushed your hair behind your ear when you were deep in thought. the furrow of your brow when you argued as respectfully as you could with a professor (gojo knew you were holding back, though, and the thought always made him smile to himself because if he wasn’t an idgafer he would be incensed like you at the idiotic teacher). the smile—rare, fleeting, but utterly disarming—that occasionally lit up your face when you talked to utahime or that guy you were too friendly around, nanami.

“you’re doing that thing again,” suguru said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“what thing?” satoru asked, sitting up straighter.

“brooding. you’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

“no.”

suguru arched an eyebrow. “you’re a terrible liar.”

satoru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “fine. maybe i am. but it’s complicated.”

“how is it complicated?”

“she doesn’t like me,” satoru said, shrugging. “at least, not as me. she likes spider-man.”

suguru blinked, clearly unimpressed. “you’re being stupid bro.”

“i’m not being stupid,” satoru argued. “she thinks spider-man’s this amazing, selfless hero. she doesn’t know i’m just some guy who can’t even figure out how to flirt with her without making an ass of himself.”

suguru leaned back in his chair, regarding satoru with an almost pitying look. “so let me get this straight. you’re worried that she only likes spider-man, even though spider-man is you. like it’s some kind of split personality thing?”

“well, when you put it like that—”

“it sounds dumb,” suguru finished. “because it is dumb.”

satoru glared at him, but suguru only shrugged.  but how could he not think about you? even now, the memory of your voice—calm, steady, and unexpectedly warm—echoed in his head. you had this way of looking at him, like you were peeling back layers he didn’t even know he had. and that smile... he groaned inwardly. he wasn’t supposed to be so drawn to you, wasn’t supposed to imagine what it’d feel like to have you smile at him like that all the time.

“look,” suguru continued, “if you like her, shoot your shot. you’re already overthinking this, and you haven’t even done anything yet. what’s the worst that could happen? she says no?”

“or she laughs in my face,” satoru muttered.

“which would be deserved, honestly,” suguru said, smirking. “but seriously, you’ve got nothing to lose. and everything to gain.”

satoru didn’t respond, his gaze fixed on the takeout boxes on the table. he wanted to believe suguru was right, but there was a small, stubborn part of him that wasn’t so sure.

because it wasn’t just about rejection, or even whether you liked him as satoru or spider-man. it was about what came after. if he let you in and something happened to you—if his double life brought danger to your doorstep—he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself.

but then there was suguru’s voice in his head, steady and persistent: you’ve got nothing to lose. and everything to gain.

…

amidst a week of endless projects upon projects and other miscellaneous assignments from your research group partners (since the grad students loved to pile their work on top of you, the helpless undergrad), you find yourself nursing a hot chocolate while on top of your dormitory building’s roof. 

you find sanctuary, coming on here for time to yourself whenever you find yourself stuck in a busy week. quiet, solitary, with a view of the city lights flickering like scattered fireflies. you hugged your cardigan tighter around your shoulders as you stepped onto the roof, your laptop tucked under one arm, a mug of tea precariously balanced in the other hand. the air was crisp, biting just enough to sting your cheeks.

setting your mug down on the ledge, you perched beside it, pulling up your knees and balancing the laptop precariously as you typed. the words on the screen blurred after a while, blending into the chaos in your mind. frustrated, you closed it with a snap and leaned your head back to gaze at the stars.

“rough night?”

you startled, spinning your head around so fast your tea nearly toppled. but you can’t find anyone, just the sound of soft footsteps landing somewhere not visible to you. 

“you scared the hell out of me,” you sighed, clutching your chest.

“sorry,” he said, though his tone didn’t sound all that apologetic. “didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“then maybe don’t sneak up on people like that,” you muttered, still trying to calm your racing heart.

he chuckled, and the sound was warmer than you’d expected. “noted. so, what’s got you out here at three in the morning? don’t tell me you’re pulling an all-nighter.”

you sighed, the initial shock fading into a dull thrum of shyness. “it’s not an all-nighter if the night isn’t over yet.” then, you squint at a random spot, pretending it’s him. “besides, why are you here? shouldn’t you be out stopping robberies or saving cats from trees?”

“done and done,” he said, crossing his arms as he leaned against the ledge. “now i’m just enjoying the view.”

you turned your gaze back to the skyline, hoping the darkness hid the faint heat creeping up your neck. “so, what’s a guy like you doing on a random rooftop at three in the morning?”

“could ask you the same thing,” he countered.

you hesitated. for some reason, admitting the truth to him felt easier than admitting it to anyone else. “just…needed a break.”

“from?”

“everything,” you said, exhaling slowly. “classes. expectations. people.” you paused, then added with a faint smile, “not you, though. you’re an exception.”

“oh?” his voice lightened, carrying a hint of playful intrigue. “should i feel honored?”

“maybe,” you said. “it’s not every day you get to meet a real hero.” then, “okay, but why do you always hide in the dark?”

his voice is smug, meant to be playful. “it adds to the mystique?”

you pout. “what if i call the police?”

“it’s not like the cops can catch me anyways, baby. their shitty coffee and donut filled asses aren’t enough to keep up with me.”

you really try not to flush when he calls you that pet name. “is success getting to you?”

“what success? most i hear is everyone debating whether or not i should be experimented on.”

“really?” you teased. “that’s not what i saw on my for you page last time. there are girls out there who want you to sign their tits after you rescued that baby.”

then, you hear the soft thud of nimble feet dropping onto the ceiling and turn your head to see him in all his glory. he has a muscular figure highlighted in his white suit, blue and black lines traveling their way across his body. casually, he stretches and then drops down to the floor, sitting cross legged from across from you as if joining you in a regular gossip sesh. he puts his elbow on his knee and rests his head on his hand. “are you one of those girls?”

you laugh sheepishly, turning away as heat creeps up your face again and your heart hammers, because you can’t exactly tell him that, yes you’re absolutely enamored with him after he saved you that day and yes, you do indeed want him to sign your tits.

“you should do that more,” he said.

“what?” you look back at him, wide eyed in confusion. 

“laugh.”

the way he said it, low and almost reverent, made your cheeks heat. you busy yourself with toying with your cardigan, scooting yourself away from the edge and closer to him. “and you should stop being such a flirt,” you said, though there was no bite in your voice.

“can’t help it,” he said, leaning closer. “it’s kind of my thing.”

“is that right?”

“mm-hmm.” he paused, then added, “you know, there’s something i’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“what?” you asked, arching an eyebrow.

“take my mask off.”

the words hit you like a gut punch, dissolving the playfulness that had filled the air seconds ago. you blinked up at him, searching his face—or at least what you could see of it—for any sign that this was some elaborate joke. but there was no hint of humor, no smirk tugging at his lips. he meant it.

your fingers hovered at your sides, hesitant. “are you sure?” the question came out soft, barely audible, but it felt like it echoed in the quiet night.

“never been more sure of anything,” he murmured, voice low and steady.

you swallowed hard, your heart hammering in your chest. slowly, almost against your better judgment, you reached up, fingertips brushing the edge of his mask. the fabric felt smooth, warm under your touch, but your nerves were anything but.

with a deep breath, you peeled it back. bit by bit, his face came into view—a shock of white hair, impossibly sharp features, and finally, those eyes. those unmistakable, infuriatingly familiar blue eyes. your breath caught, and for a moment, the world tilted sideways.

“gojo?”

the name fell from your lips before you could stop it, unsteady and disbelieving. your mind raced, trying to piece together the impossible puzzle that had just landed in front of you.

he grinned—that grin, the one that always made you want to slap it off his face and yet somehow managed to disarm you every single time. “hey.”

“hey?” your voice cracked as you took a step back. “that’s all you have to say? hey?”

“would you prefer, ‘surprise’?” he quipped, his grin widening as though this was the most normal thing in the world.

you laughed, the sound a little hysterical but real, like you couldn’t contain the storm of emotions rushing through you. “surprised? you’ve been… you’ve been spider-man this whole time?” the words felt foreign on your tongue, like they didn’t belong in the same sentence as gojo satoru—the one you’d argued with in class, the one who had no problem making you want to tear your hair out. and yet here he was, standing in front of you, the last person you ever would have suspected to be the city’s most infamous masked hero.

gojo gave you that crooked grin, the same one he wore when he thought he had won—when he thought he had it all figured out. “i know. it’s a lot to take in.”

you stared at him, trying to make sense of it, but no amount of logic could bridge the gap between the gojo you knew—the guy who drove you up the wall in class and always had a cocky comeback—and the masked hero who had saved you and the one you had a crush on.

you didn’t know whether to scream, laugh, or cry. 

you take a shaky breath in, still trying to process everything. “you... you saved me, gojo. you’ve been right there, all these times, and i had no idea it was you.”

“guess i’m just that good at keeping secrets,” he said, his tone playful, but there was something more there, something softer, that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. his eyes held a flicker of something—maybe vulnerability, maybe uncertainty.

the weight of the moment hung thick in the air between you, and for a long second, you didn’t know what to say. this revelation was like the ground beneath you had cracked wide open, and you were left staring into an abyss that was both terrifying and exhilarating.

finally, you shook your head, letting out a short breath. “this is insane.”

he didn’t seem bothered by your reaction, though his eyes darkened just slightly, the smirk still there, but with something a little more honest creeping into his expression. “yeah. but you’re handling it better than i thought. kinda thought you would faint, or something.”

the world had shifted, but somehow, with gojo now sitting in front of you like this, with the mask off and the man behind the myth revealed, it felt like the pieces were finally starting to fall into place. even if they didn’t make perfect sense yet.

and yet, something about his presence—his undeniable realness—felt oddly grounding. he wasn’t the invincible spider-man anymore. he was just gojo. the gojo who had somehow become more than just your academic rival, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit more than that.

something in gojo’s facial expression shifted to something a bit more hesitant, a little nervous as he stands and extend his arm out to you. softly, he asks, “do you trust me?”

“yes.” you took his hand, standing up as he flashes you a charming, yet mischievous grin, one so shit eating that you regret saying that. “why?”

“i’m taking you for a ride. consider it an apology for freaking you out earlier.”

you hesitated, looking between his outstretched hand and the city skyline just beyond your college campus. “i don’t think this is a good idea—”

“you trust me, don’t you?”

and somehow, against all logic, you realized that you did.

“fine,” you said, stepping closer to him to cling onto him. 

he pulls you closer, and as he does so, he cranes his neck down to meet your eyes, smiling giddy. “anywhere you wanna go?”

you think for a moment, but know immediately the place where you’d like to visit that’s open at this ungodly hour. “do you know that one shawarma joint—-”

before you can even finish, the wind whips around you as gojo slips his mask back on, pulls you closer to him, and uses his free hand—that is, the one that’s not clinging onto your firmly—to shoot a glistening web, one that you saw when he used it on the man who harassed you in the ally. it clings onto a nearby building, and then you’re off the ground, soaring through the air.

you let out a scream of terror against gojo’s chest, tightening your arms around him. you can feel a laugh rumble in his chest, a boyish chuckle as he peers down at you and shouts, “are you having fun?” 

“gojo,” you whine, burying your head into his chest further. despite your initial fear, exhilaration creeps its way into you as you the city blur, skyline jumping and dipping as gojo effortlessly swung you both around. 

when he finally stopped, landing gracefully on a secluded rooftop, you were breathless—not just from the ride but from the way he was looking at you.

“you good?” he laughed, panting from the exertion and tenderly using his hand to rake his hand through your  hair, which, you note out of embarrassment, must’ve been messed up from the wind passing through it.

“i hate that you made me dizzy, but yea, i’m good,” you mumble, pulling out your phone to open your camera, fixing your hair.

when you’re done, gojo looks at you with the manic buzz you can only have at 3am. “ready to get some shawarma?”

…

the streets were eerily quiet, the kind of silence only a city at 3am could have. just the two of you, your footsteps echoing against the pavement, the occasional glow of a streetlamp painting your path.

“okay, that shawarma was like, mid at best,” gojo walks alongside you. he’s thrown on a sweatshirt and gray sweatpants over his suit, walking alongside you on the street. your stomachs are full, and you suggested a walk to be able to digest the bigass bowl you both ate.

“nothing tastes better than something you’re eating when you’re supposed to be studying, instead,” you shot back, hiding your little smile as you cross your arms while strolling. the shift between you and gojo was so jarring that you’re still reeling at it, but what is 3am if not for big life changes?

“yea, that’s fair,” he sighs, crossing his hands behind his head as he continues strolling beside you.  “so,” he continues, “now that i’ve officially blown your mind with my secret identity and fed you some incredibly mid shawarma, what’s next? should i fly you to paris, or is that too cliché?”

you roll your eyes, but deep inside, you’re really biting back a grin. “relax, bugboy. maybe first let me recover from being swung like a human pendulum.”

gojo stopped walking, turning to face you with a playful glint in his eye. “you’re still thinking about that, huh? admit it—you loved it.”

you raised an eyebrow. “i screamed into your chest for a solid ten seconds. does that sound like love to you?”

he tilted his head, feigning deep thought. “i dunno. there’s a fine line between terror and thrill. and judging by how tightly you were holding onto me…”

“you’re insufferable,” you muttered, but your voice lacked bite.

“and yet, you’re still here.”

his words hung in the air, the playful edge softening into something quieter, more sincere. your steps faltered, and you looked up at him, the absurdity of the night fading into the background as your gaze held his.

“guess i’m curious,” you admitted.

“curious, huh?” he said, taking a step closer. “careful. curiosity killed the cat.”

without thinking, you blurted, “at least i’ve got a fifty-fifty shot, right?” the words barely left your mouth before the regret hit, your inner voice screaming at you for making a lame quantum mechanics joke at a time like this. schrödinger would be proud, you thought bitterly.

but then gojo laughed—not the teasing, obnoxious kind of laugh or the weird look you’d expect, but a genuine, boyish chuckle that reached his eyes. he smiled at you, soft and unguarded, and suddenly, the space between you seemed to shrink.

the flickering streetlamp cast a warm, uneven glow over the two of you. in that moment, the sprawling city felt impossibly small, narrowed down to just him and the pounding of your heart in your ears.

gojo reached up, fingers brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. “you know,” he murmured, his voice low, “i’ve been wanting to do this for a while now.”

your breath hitched, heart thundering in your chest. “do what?”

“this.”

before you could respond, he closed the space between you, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was somehow both soft, yet electrifying. for a moment, time seemed to stop, the city around you fading into nothing as the warmth of his touch anchored you in the moment.

when he finally pulled back, his grin was back in full force. “so, was that better or worse than shawarma?”

you blinked at him, still trying to find your footing in the aftermath of what just happened. an immediate feeling of bashfulness crept over you because not only did you just kiss spiderman, you just kissed gojo. there are girls who would kill to be in your position, and that makes you flustered as you turn your head away from him so you don’t have to make eye contact. “i hate you,” you mumble half heartedly, cheeks burning.

gojo doesn’t let you off so easily. his thumb brushes gently along your chin, coaxing your face back toward his. his touch is warm, deliberate, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

“oh my god,” he says, a grin spreading across his face. “are you embarrassed? you’re so cute.”

when the warmth of his hand leaves your chin, you open your eyes, shocked as you find out that he’s nowhere to be seen. you call out a tentative, “gojo?” 

somewhere behind you, to the left, comes out a muffled shout. “i’m here!” you whip around, your brows furrowing as you follow the direction of his voice. it’s coming from an alley just off the street, dark and bathed in shadows.

“seriously?” you mutter under your breath, your annoyance half-hearted, making your way toward the sound. you find yourself at the mouth of the alley, the dim glow of a distant lamp barely illuminating his silhouette.

gojo’s perched on the side of the wall like it’s the most natural thing in the world, one leg propped up, his mask pulled halfway up to reveal that damn smirk. “you’re slow,” he teases, his tone light and infuriatingly smug.

“what are you doing?” you ask, crossing your arms.

he gestures toward himself. “you came looking for me, didn’t you?”

you roll your eyes, stepping closer despite yourself. “what, did you think i’d just leave you lurking in some alley like a creepy insect?”

“well,” he says, shooting a web to stick on the bottom of some stairs of one of the buildings to hang upside down, “you could’ve left, but i had a feeling you wouldn’t.”

before you could retort, he shoots his web closer to something on top of you, now dangling upside down yet again but his proximity even closer, stealing the air from your lungs. his fingers brush a strand of hair from your face, lingering just long enough to make your knees feel unsteady.

“so,” he murmurs, his voice low and teasing, “are we doing this again, or are you gonna keep pretending you hate me?”

your heart stutters, but before you can overthink it, you pull his mask down even further to uncover more of his lips, and you join them together—this time, softer, slower, as if savoring the moment. you grab at his chin to pull him closer to you, you both sighing into the kiss, and then smiling giddily each time you pull back, only to come back in.

and just like that, you start to fall into…something with not only the vigilante that’s swinging around new york, but also gojo satoru, your long-time rival.

…

when satoru swings by your dorm next, he doesn’t expect his heart to lurch so much at the view of you so cozy.

it’s undeniable; you and satoru have been dancing around each other. you’re not exactly a hook-up to each other—you two haven’t had sex—but you’re not exactly girlfriend and boyfriend. and it’s not something casual, either. he doesn’t reveal that he’s spiderman just to get into girls’ pants. 

you’ve both developed a sort of rapport, he supposes. it’s been stolen glances during phys401 and late nights spent talking or, occasionally, making out. you’ve even started to nurse his wounds, if he ever shows up with bruises and blood matting his suit. one of the perks of you having a single. 

he’s even fallen asleep overnight, especially on friday nights when he doesn’t have lecture in the morning. some of his things, like some spare equipment and suits, have even found their way into your closet. 

you’re both on a dangerous roller coaster, and satoru is closing his eyes on the fall down. 

but right now, he’s perched outside your window like a creep. you’re sitting on your bed, cross-legged and squinting at something on your laptop, and satoru smiles to himself as he sees your tank top and shorts and just how homey you look. you probably know satoru is coming, but you’re so comfortable around him that it makes his heart ache. he shouldn’t be doing this, but he can’t stop.

satoru lightly taps on your window, his knuckle brushing against the glass softly, not wanting to startle you. you glance up, catching sight of him, and there’s no hiding the smile tugging at your lips.

you get up, and satoru follows the movement of your bare legs with his eyes as you slide the window open. “you know, most people knock on doors like normal humans,” you say.

“i like to keep things interesting,” he shoots back, climbing in effortlessly. the faint chill from the night clings to him, and his hair is slightly disheveled from the wind.

he glances around your room, catching sight of your scattered notes and the distinct look of frustration etched across your face. “what’s got you looking so miserable?”

“phys401,” you reply with a resigned sigh, flopping back onto your bed. “this problem set is impossible.”

satoru smirks, peeling off his gloves and mask and plopping down beside you. “let me see.”

acquiescing, you hand over your notebook, watching as he scans your work with intent, eyebrows scrunching as he tries to understand the statement to prove. he makes a few thoughtful noises, before grabbing a pen and scribbling something down. “here,” he says after a moment, “you’re overcomplicating this step. instead of doing the tensor product you did, you could just make this zero by taking an inner product, since they’re orthogonal states. the rest will fall into place.”

you squint at his messy, rushed handwriting, and sure enough, the proof seems to come together. “how are you so good at this?” 

“physics prodigy, remember?” he teases, leaning back on his hands as he lays down on your bed.

“thanks for the help,” you say softly, your eyes lingering on him a beat too long. he’s kind of dreamy, you think. the moonlight filters across your window, giving his platinum hair a sheen as his cerulean eyes look into yours with kindness. 

his smirk fades, replaced by something softer, something unspoken. “anytime.” he then makes a show of stretching out his limbs, purposely bumping into you with one eye open smugly to observe your reaction, to which you glare at him. he spots your notebook, picks it up, and flips through it. “you know, for someone who complains so much about phys401, you’re not half bad at it,” he teases, scribbling something in the margin of your notes by grabbing a stray pen next to him.  

you roll your eyes, shifting so you’re cross-legged on the bed, facing him. “not all of us are physics prodigies, satoru. some of us actually have to work hard.”  

he chuckles, handing the notebook back to you. “hard work is overrated when you can just charm your way through everything.”  

you snort and joke, “if charm was all it took, i’d have aced the midterm.”  

there’s a beat of silence as you glance down at his notes. he’s corrected a mistake you hadn’t even noticed, and his scrawled proof flows so effortlessly it makes you a little envious. “how do you do that?” you ask, more to yourself than him.  

“do what?”  

“make it look so… easy,” you say, frowning slightly. “everything. physics, life, swinging through the city.”  

satoru leans back on his palms, his smirk softening. “trust me, it’s not as easy as it looks.”  

you glance up at him, surprised by the honesty in his tone. “what do you mean?”  

he shrugs, but there’s something vulnerable in the way his gaze flickers away from yours. “i mean, everyone sees the guy with the jokes and the perfect test scores, but no one sees the late nights or the bruises.” he gestures vaguely to his chest, where you know the bruises from his spider-man escapades hide. “guess i’m just good at pretending.”  

you sit with his words, the weight of them settling between you. “you don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” you say softly.  

his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the mask—the real one—drops. “i know,” he says, just as softly.  

the air between you feels heavier, like the world has shrunk to just the two of you. you’re hyper-aware of how close he is, the faint smell of the night clinging to him, the way his knee brushes against yours.  

“thanks,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “for letting me be here. for…” he trails off, his gaze dropping to your lips before flicking back up.  

your breath catches. “satoru…”  

“yeah?” he says, leaning in slightly, his voice lower now.  

“i…” you trail off, not even sure what you were going to say.  

he leans closer, and it feels like everything around you stills. his hand finds its way to your face, his thumb brushing your cheek. “can i?” he asks, his voice barely audible.  

you nod, and then his lips are on yours.  

the kiss starts tentative, almost shy, but it doesn’t stay that way for long. it deepens, his hand sliding to your waist as you pull him closer. the tension that had been building for weeks—months, maybe—finally snaps, leaving nothing but heat and want in its wake.  

his weight presses you back into the bed, and you can feel his heart racing against yours as he pins you to the bed, now on top of you. his hand slips under the hem of your shirt, warm against your skin, and as his thumb traces shapes into your circle and closer to more sensitive areas, a sigh escapes you.  

that’s when he freezes.  

he pulls back, his breathing uneven, his eyes wide and filled with something like fear. “we can’t,” he says, his voice hoarse.  

your heart drops into your chest.

“why not?” you ask, trying to catch your breath.  

“because,” he says, sitting up and running a hand through his hair and he’s heaving. “because i’m spider-man, and you—” he breaks off, looking anywhere but at you. “you deserve better than this. better than me.”  

you sit up, pulling your shirt back into place and looking at him, hurt. “that’s not your call to make, satoru.”  

“i’m trying to protect you!” he says, his voice rising in agitation. he sits back onto his heels, raking a hand through his hair as he looks at the ceiling, as if in pain.

you can’t believe him. his self-righteousness irritates you to no end, especially after you’ve bared your soul, and now your body to him, something you considered intimate. you feel conflicted—whatever you had, it didn’t have a label. but that didn’t mean that you didn’t want that to be true. badly.

“and who asked you to?” you snap back. “i’m not some damsel in distress who needs saving.”  

“i know that,” he says, his tone softening. “but if something happened to you because of me…” he shakes his head. “i couldn’t live with that.”  

the anger bubbling in your chest boils over, and you snap. “so what? you’re just going to walk away? after everything?”  

he stands, his expression pained. “i’m sorry,” he says, heading for the window.  

“don’t you dare apologize,” you say, your voice trembling as you stand by the foot of your bed, hating how your eyes brim with tears. “if you leave, don’t bother coming back.”  

he pauses, his hand on the window frame, before glancing back at you. “i’m sorry,” he says again, softer this time, before slipping out into the night.  

the window clicks shut behind him, and you’re left alone in the silence, the ache in your chest threatening to swallow you whole. 

…

the whir of the espresso machine and the gentle hum of background music fill the mostly empty starbucks, the occasional customer wandering in like clockwork. it’s a quiet shift, the kind you’d usually relish—except today, the quiet only makes the knot in your chest tighten.

you’re stationed behind the counter, staring blankly at the milk steamer as it hisses, lost in your thoughts. that is, until utahime’s voice breaks through.

“alright, spill,” she says, leaning her elbows on the counter beside you.

you glance at her, eyebrows raised. “spill what?”

utahime rolls her eyes, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. “oh, please. you look like someone stole your favorite pen and broke it in half. what’s going on?”

“nothing,” you lie, turning back to the steamer. “i’m fine.”

utahime’s skeptical gaze bores into you. “you’re a terrible liar. nanami, back me up.”

from his spot at a nearby table, nanami looks up from his book, his sharp eyes narrowing as they lock onto you. “it’s boy trouble,” he says flatly, like he’s solving an equation.

your head snaps toward him, a glare already forming. “excuse me?”

“it’s obvious,” he says, setting his book down and regarding you with his usual piercing gaze. “you’re distracted, you look upset—it’s boy trouble.”

utahime perks up, leaning closer. “wait, is he right? is this about a guy?”

you let out a groan, leaning your elbows on the counter. “can you two not gang up on me right now?”

“so it is a guy,” utahime says, her tone turning smug.

“i didn’t say that,” you retort, but the heat in your cheeks betrays you.

nanami raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with your deflection. “you might as well just tell us. it’s not like we’re going to let it go.”

you sigh, running a hand through your hair. “fine. it’s… someone i liked. someone i thought liked me too. but he freaked out and said it was too…dangerous to keep going.”

utahime frowns, her curiosity replaced by concern while kento snorts. “dangerous? what does that even mean?”

“that’s what i’d like to know,” you say bitterly, the frustration bubbling up as you speak. “he acts like he cares, but the second things get serious, he bolts. like i’m some fragile thing that can’t handle it.”

nanami leans back in his chair, his expression thoughtful. “he might not be scared of you. he could be scared of what it means for him. of responsibility and commitment. some people run when they feel too much.”

utahime nods, her hand resting gently on your arm. “whatever his problem is, it’s not fair to you. if he can’t get it together, that’s on him, not you.”

you glance between them, the weight of their words settling in your chest. “i know that,” you say quietly. “it just… sucks.”

“of course it does,” utahime says, her voice soft but firm. “but you’re not the problem here. don’t let him make you think you are.”

nanami picks up his book again but pauses before opening it. “and don’t let him live rent-free in your head. if he can’t see what he’s giving up, that’s his loss.”

their support feels grounding, like a steady hand in the middle of a storm. you manage a small smile, nodding. “thanks, guys.”

“anytime,” utahime says, flashing you a reassuring grin. nanami simply nods, returning to his book but keeping an eye on you like always. for the first time all week since gojo left your room, the heaviness in your chest feels a little lighter.

…

the knock at your window is faint, almost timid, but it jolts you out of your daze. you sit up in bed, your heart pounding as your eyes dart toward the window. it’s late—so late it’s early—and for a moment, you think you imagined it. you hate to admit it, but because of your boy troubles you haven’t been able to sleep all week. you’re also no stranger to imagining ants crawling up your body or phantom noises, so you adjust in your bed, trying to go back to sleep.

then it comes again, a little louder this time.

you throw off the blanket and pad over, the chill of the floor biting at your bare feet. when you pull the curtain aside, your breath catches.

satoru.

he’s crouched outside, his suit torn in places and soaked with blood. his head lolls slightly, like he’s barely holding himself up, and when he lifts his gaze to meet yours, it’s tired and pleading.

you don’t think—there’s no time for that. you unlatch the window and shove it open, reaching out to help him inside. “satoru, oh my god,” you breathe, your voice shaking.

“hey,” he mutters, his grin weak but still so unmistakably him. “sorry for the mess.”

“shut up,” you snap, guiding him onto your bed and setting him down with gentle hands, ones that contrast your tone with him. “what the hell happened?”

“nothing i couldn’t handle,” he says, wincing as he tries to sit up straighter and flashes you a sheepish smile. “you should see the other guy.”

“you’re bleeding everywhere, satoru. you clearly didn’t handle it.” you grab your first aid kit from under the bed and yank it open, your hands trembling.

“i’ve had worse,” he murmurs, but his bravado is thin, cracking at the edges.

“stop talking,” you say, your voice trembling and cracking. “just—just stop.”

for once, you thank the gods that he listens.

you work quickly, cutting away the shredded fabric of his suit and cleaning the worst of the wounds. it’s not pretty—his torso is littered with bruises and gashes, the kind that make your stomach turn—but you keep your focus.

when you press a disinfectant-soaked pad to a particularly deep cut, he hisses, his hand flying to grab your wrist.

“sorry,” you whisper, glancing up at him with a tender look in your eyes. his expression matches yours, and your faces are so close to each other that you can’t bear it anymore, going back to your work.

his fingers loosen but don’t let go, his grip warm and grounding. “you’re good at this,” he says softly, his voice rough.

“yeah, well,” you mutter, ducking your head to avoid his gaze. “you’ve given me plenty of practice.”

the silence stretches as you finish bandaging him up. when you’re done, you sit back, your hands still trembling as you place them in your lap. “you’re an idiot,” you say, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.

he laughs, soft and hoarse. “yeah. i get that a lot from this girl i know.”

you look up at him, and the weight of everything—his injuries, his secret, the distance he tried to put between you—crashes over you. “you can’t keep doing this, satoru. you can’t keep pushing me away just to show up like this.”

his smile fades, replaced by something raw and unguarded. “i know,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “i know, but…”

“but what?” you demand, your voice cracking. “you’re spider-man? you think that’s an excuse to keep shutting me out?”

“it’s not an excuse,” he says, running a hand through his messy hair, matted with even more blood. his or someone else’s, you’re not sure. “it’s a reason. i don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

“you think i’m not already hurting?” you snap, the anger bubbling to the surface yet again. “you think it doesn’t kill me to see you like this and know i can’t do anything to stop it?”

his eyes widen, and for a moment, he looks like a little boy, lost and unsure. it is then that it hits you that he’s just twenty. a college student, not someone who’s wanted by the cia or someone who’s battled terrorists. for fucks sake, he can’t even legally drink. 

and your heart can’t help but melt as he says, “i just… i don’t want to lose you.”

“then stop trying to,” you say, your voice softer now. “stop pretending like you’re protecting me by keeping me at arm’s length. let me in, satoru.”

he stares at you, his breath hitching like he’s holding back a thousand words. then, in a rush, he closes the distance between you, his hands cradling your face as he presses his forehead to yours.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “i’m so sorry.”

you exhale shakily, your hands finding their way to his wrists. “just stop being an idiot, okay? stop trying to do this alone.”

he nods, his grip tightening like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “i promise,” he says, and for the first time, you believe him.

…

a cramp gripping satoru’s entire leg is what wakes him up. 

he winces in memory of the injury; one of those stupid terrorists had too good of an aim, grazing his leg while he was mid-air. it hurts like a bitch now, and he moves to lay on his back, until something stops him. roses.

he looks, bleary eyed, to you. the floral scent coming from you, making him dizzy. his body cocooning yours. 

you both unconsciously moved in your sleep so that you were spooning, your fragrant hair, soft from shampooing, tickling his throat with your ass in his crotch.

nestled right against his morning wood.

good fucking lord, he groans to himself, then starts to panic because if you wake up and realize he had a raging hard-on while you were sleeping, you would definitely think he was a creep. he’s already on thin fucking ice. so naturally, he starts to recite the star spangled banner while trying to will his boner away.

oh, say can you see—

to no avail, because you huff softly in your sleep, soft and warm body unconsciously leaning back to grind your ass against his lap, turning his dick to steel.

“oh, fuck,” he curses out loud, using his hand to cover the lower half of his face and clench his eyes shut. you feel so sweet, innocently adjusting while he can’t even control his lust for you.

but once the grind seems to continue for a bit too long, more than what can be chalked up as adjusting in your sleep, he peers down at you. you’re awake. 

and because satoru’s selfish, his hands creep up your tank top, settling on your bare stomach, where he knew you were ticklish. as a result, you wiggle, and he uses this opportunity to pull you even closer to him, right up against him. 

“baby,” he says, making his voice all deep and sighs on purpose, just to be unfair to you. “is this okay?”

you whine, and he settles his face in your hair, the strands of it tickling his skin as he inhales in the scent of you. “i thought it was a dream.”

he smiles into your hair. you make him feel like sunshine incarnate, and the rush he’s getting right now is akin to the one he gets jumping off the empire state building. “no, this is very real.”

“hm,” and you continue to drag your ass into him, murmuring in a soft voice that makes him want to take you right there and then, “it still feels like a dream. like you’re not real, right now.”

oh, what he would do to make you say his name in that same voice; he wants to whisper all the things he wants to do to you right now. “i know, baby. you feel like a dream.” his hands continue to slide up and up your torso, groaning at your sharp intake as he gently fondles the softness of your breasts. 

you overwhelm his senses, teasing him, and when you let out a whine of his name, satoru snaps.

“i’m going to make you feel good right now. tell me if it’s a fucking dream,” he grits out, ignoring whatever cramps that were screaming at him to get on top of you. 

you gasp out a “satoru,” wriggling in his grasp, and he can’t take it anymore. he brings up one of his hands. shoots a web that lands right on your left hand. then your right hand.

satoru just tied you up using his webs.

you look at him in whatever version of shock you can muster in your tired state. “satoru, what the—” but you’re muffled, because he’s kissing you, hard, roving his hands up and down your body and grabbing whatever he can as if he’s devouring you while making out with you.

“do you know,” and his eyes flash dangerously while looking down at yours, “how you’ve teased me with these shorts?” his hands trails down to the waistband of the offending piece of clothing, pulling it to make it snap against your skin. you jump, looking at satoru desperately, who’s left you bare at his mercy, subject to his super human strength as he grabs your shorts with both his hands again. “every fucking time i’ve sneaked up in to your room, it’s been so hard to not fuck you senseless in these flimsy things. it’s only fair you pay the price, right baby?”

it’s not like you have anything to answer him with, having lost all brain cells being fucked out like this. he pulls them down, and if he had laser vision, he would have stared through your panties long ago, eyes fixated on the crotch that was nearly translucent with the amount of slick going through it. burying his face right in between your thighs, he noses at your cunt before groaning. then, he uses his teeth to grab onto the middle and pull. until your pussy is bare to him.

“oh, fuck you’re so pretty,” he curses, lapping at your sweetness. his tongue roves up and down your folds, and if your hands could, they would be pulling at his hair solely because you were so sensitive. but you were trapped, thighs gripped in his strong hands and your arms trapped by his ultra-strong webs. “my good girl.”

then, you feel pressure at your opening. “sato—” you squeal but are immediately interrupted by your own moan as he curls his long, thick fingers, eyes observing your every movement as you squirm, electric shocks running up and down your body as he hits your spot dead-on.

and he notices, because the motherfucker chuckles. “oh, so that’s the spot, huh?” he purrs, visibly pleased as he memorizes it and abuses it, hitting it with every stroke. you barely notice him add one finger, add two fingers as he starts to suck on your clit. overwhelmed with pleasure, you’re only brought back to reality when he rips all contact away from you.

“what—” you mumble mindlessly, until you see what he’s doing. he pulls his sweatpants down. and he’s not wearing boxers, so you drool when his cock springs out, leaking copiously and hard. without taking his eyes off you, he pumps it to its fullest length, and you’re just staring in awe at its sheer length.

“what’re you looking at, baby?” he teases, using his hand to wiggle his cock in front of your face to mock you. “want it so bad, isn’t that right?”

you glare at him half-heartedly, but whine regardless. “just put it in, gojo.”

“oh,” and he flashes you a smile that makes a big danger sign in red flash across your mind. “it’s gojo, now is it?”

 “satoru,” there are tears brimming in the corner of your eyes, the ones that make satoru even more aroused at your want, “please. i need it.”

a boyish grin and a forehead kiss that has you reeling at his duality. “anything for my woman in stem.” with that, he pushes in, both of your eyes rolling back as his cock is engulfed by your gummy walls. soon after, he starts thrusting, desperation fueling both of you as you cross your legs behind gojo’s back, the deeper angle making his thighs shake while fucking into you. 

he grabs your face, gives you a tender kiss. “fuck, i love this pussy. so sweet for me.” 

you give him a wanton moan in return as he continues to thrust deep, tender strokes into you. “satoru, ‘m not gonna last long.” with the amount of foreplay he’s done alongside how sensitive you are, you’re steadily reaching your orgasm already, and with the way satoru’s now tightly gripping the sheets beside you while thrusting inside you, he is too.

wet squelching noises echoes across the room, and you know the neighbors can hear the obscene plap! plap! plap! coming from skin meeting skin, your hips against his. he buries his face into your neck, panting at your ear until he uses his hand to wrench your face towards his.

“i love you,” he groans, forcing your eyes to meet his. “i love you forever and will do so. so you can’t break my heart,” and he’s desperately thrusting again, “and you can’t leave me. please.”

at his confession, you break, back arching as you also squeal out a iloveyou while gasping loudly, hips rolling to rise against his as he fucks you through your orgasm. quickly, his thrusts veer into overstimulation and you whine. “toru.” he takes one look at your state—face impossibly flushed, hands tied, and pussy absolutely engulfing his cock, and his orgasm hits him like a truck, making him gasp and bend and break as he goes to heaven and back with the aftershocks of your orgasm making your pussy clench around him so beautifully. his cum enters you in hot spurts, making you exhale sharply at the feeling as he comes down from his orgasm, collapsing next to you.

for a few minutes, heavy breathing fills the room, both of you catching your breaths. until satoru breaks the silence. “so, what’s it like to fuck a superhero?”

you take one look at him—all smug and propped up on his elbow—and spidey sense be damned as you try grab a pillow. key word is try because you’re then wrenched back with a reminder that you’re still bound. “satoru,” and you give him a sickly sweet smile, the one that he knows means he’s in trouble, “when are these going to dissolve?”

and satoru pretends to be deep in thought, but you can see him trying to inch off the bed slowly, as if to escape your wrath after his answer. “uhm…maybe five hours?”

if it weren’t for the damn spidey sense that he had, he wouldn’t have been able to escape the swing of your legs as you looked at him murderously. “satoru gojo you will unhand me from these webs this instant—-“

“i don’t know,” he shrugs, shit eating grin in his face. “you look kinda sexy in bed like this. mad at me.” but when your eyes flash with anger, he hiccups nervously, telltale of the fact he won’t mess with you.

“i hate you,” you groan out, pouting like a petulant child while you glare at the ceiling.

 satoru comes close to you to bend at his waist and give you a forehead kiss. “no, you don’t.” 

you give him a pointed glare, telling him not to be testy. “clean me up. now.”

at your expression, his eyes widen in fear and he salutes. “anything for you, ma’am.”

at his retreating form, you giggle and sigh to yourself. you never would’ve known that spider-man would be the one fetching a clean up rag for you after fucking the shit out of you, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

when satoru comes back, he cleans you up, tenderly, as if he is afraid that you will break. you’re a little drowsy when he returns to you, but he doesn’t dare try to wake you up when he hears little breaths from your nose indicating you’ve fallen asleep. after he finishes his job, he admires your features.

satoru lingers for a moment, his gaze softening as he watches the gentle rise and fall of your chest. the weight of his responsibilities presses on him, as it always does, but tonight, it feels heavier—like a tether pulling him between the life he’s chosen and the life he craves.

you, so peaceful in sleep, represent something fragile, something precious. and that terrifies him. because what if he fails? what if the cost of being spider-man is losing the one thing that feels real?

still, he knows he can’t walk away—not from this city, not from you. with a deep breath, he leans down and presses a featherlight kiss to your forehead, a silent promise lingering in his chest.

“i’ll keep you safe,” he murmurs, barely audible. “no matter what.”

instead of leaving, satoru settles down beside you, careful not to disturb your rest. the city can wait, just for a little while. for now, he wraps an arm around you, grounding himself in the warmth of your presence. as your breathing evens out against him, he lets his own eyes drift shut, the weight of his responsibilities momentarily lifting. today, he chooses to stay.

kinktober masterlist | general masterlist | spiderman!gojo masterlist

a/n ok if you're ever curious what being fucked in the ass with a wooden dildo no lube is like, just try to write this fic or any longfic. it's 4am, this a/n is short and unintelligble just like most of this fic but it's been a journey, im very sentimental because of this fic and i hope you guys like it. ok im going to pass out so pls ignore all typos xoxo but please flood my inbox im excited to see yalls reactions when i wake up

plspls pls comment and reblog!!!

TAGLIST

@sugoroo @ryutotsukai0824 @sharkubi @lisvanrouge @mxlktae

@samisfunky @achbbys000 @xd3pr3ss3dx @jottositto @cheescakebroom

@r0ckst4rjk @callmeagardengnome @rottmntrulesall @blankwashed @sindulgent666

@honeynanamin @obsessgurlll @starrnai @herefor-tojis-tits @ramonathinks

@creamflix

[kittyeekcube]

soo i made a uquiz where we make a friendly exchange. u give me a little piece of yourself & i give you back a little playlist for u only<3 let me know what u got in the tags<3

[rcmclachlan]

One of my most persistent headcanons is that the 118 and the 217 work together in secret to try and get Buck and Tommy back together because none of them can take it anymore. They're all sick to death of the moping, the constant checking of phones, the sad, wistful smiles, the baking—oh god, they're so sick of the baking. Hen's ready to throttle Buck because Chimney's AIC levels are through the roof and if he becomes pre-diabetic she won't be responsible for her actions.

Not to mention the sad playlists. Lucy has been forced to listen to "Wasted Time" by the Eagles so often that if she ever sees Don Henley on the street she's gonna beat the ever-loving fuck out of him.

It isn't long before someone from one station reaches out to the other, because enough already, and then the 118 and 217 are meeting every Friday to brainstorm ways to get these idiots in a room together. But, oddly enough, it feels almost like the universe is working against them.

For one thing, their shifts never line up, even though Bobby and Captain Carson coordinate almost daily on making sure Buck's and Tommy's schedules match. They've even roped a few folks over at Dispatch into it to ensure the 217 and the 118 work the same calls. Despite this, there's a slew of emergencies that manage to mess up all their planning, pulling the 118 and the 217 to opposite sides of the city—or, in some cases, keeping one on the ground while the other is called to the sky.

Once it becomes apparent that The Great Reunification™ isn't going to happen on a call, they shift their efforts to group outings. The 217 are regular haunts of The Naughty Pig—they have a designated table and everything, right next to the staircase. So Eddie starts making noise about wanting to check out this one bar in West Hollywood that he hears is really cool and unpretentious, with an excellent selection of beer and cocktails, and after about a week of him dropping the most unsubtle hints in history, they get Buck to leave King Arthur and his flour in peace for a night so they can grab a drink at The Naughty Pig.

Except, when they show up, Tommy's nowhere to be found. While the others distract Buck by trying to get a table, Dana catches Hen's gaze and makes a small, throat-cutting gesture. They meet in the bathroom and Dana says Tommy went home sick earlier with what she suspects is pneumonia. Which means Hen's going to spend the night in this cool bar while Buck gets white girl wasted on Bud Light. By the time he's on his 8th and warbling into the table about Glee for whatever reason, Hen decides to call it a night.

A week or so after that, Eddie goes for broke and disconnects the battery in his car. That same night, Buck comes over to hang out and play video games (and offload a metric fuck ton of muffins), and when they decide to grab pizza, uh oh! Eddie's truck isn't starting.

He makes a big scene of looking under the hood, but he just can't find the problem. Buck's like "That really sucks but we can always take the jeep?" but no, Eddie needs his truck, how can he live and work without his precious Denali? He decides to call a buddy of his to come over and try to fix the issue, so he leaves the room and calls Tommy, who's surprised to hear from Eddie (which makes Eddie feel like a monster, because, yes, he hasn't really been in touch with Tommy since the breakup but he never meant for Tommy to think their friendship was collateral damage).

Tommy agrees to make the drive over, and Eddie walks back into the living, patting himself on the back, only to find Buck putting his shoes on. Maddie had called while Eddie was on the phone: Mrs. Lee was taken to the hospital by ambulance after a bad fall and Chim and Maddie need him to babysit Jee while they go to LA General. So not only does Eddie's plan backfire spectacularly in a way he can't even be mad about, but Tommy gives him shit for a week because Eddie apparently can't plug a loose cable into a battery on his own.

After that, the 118 and the 217 convene at their usual Friday spot and the mood is dour. Nico thinks it might be time to throw in the towel, and despite everyone making noise about it, no one can really argue with him. They'd given it their all, but the house won.

Then Lucy swans in, takes one look at their disappointed faces, and slaps a piece of paper down onto the table. It's a flyer for the Backdraft Ball next month.

Chim looks up at her, expression grave, and asks, "Do you really think this will work?"

"It's either this or I go to jail for murdering every single living member of the Eagles," Lucy says. "Which I might do anyway. I haven't decided."

"Well, we've come this far." Hen lifts her glass and surveys the rest of the table.

"And if it fails," Dana says, the corner of her mouth twitching like she maybe, possibly thinking about smiling within the next decade. "I can't say I haven't enjoyed this. It's been fun hanging out with you weirdos."

Rapping his knuckles on the table top, Eddie cheers, "Hear hear!"

"Your speaking privileges haven't been reinstated," Dana snaps. "Put a sock in it."

"I told you, the mustache was a toxic symbol! You can't still be mad about me shaving it!"

Dana sniffs and takes a dainty sip of her wine. "You look like a mutant four-year old."

"All right," Chim announces, standing. "Operation: Last Ditch Effort is a go."

They clink their glasses to seal the deal. When Dana knocks hers into Eddie's, his stein shatters.

A month passes and everyone's been talking about nothing except the Backdraft Ball, which Buck can't understand. In the eight years he's been a firefighter, they've never once attended.

"Didn't you once call it a pathetic get together for people who had to get their stomachs pumped on prom night?" He asks Hen, who's browsing the Local Eclectic website for earrings to go with her admittedly amazing jumpsuit.

Hen shrugs. "What can I say, Buckaroo? I've grown as a person."

Meanwhile, at the 217, Lucy corners Tommy in the Bell-205 and says, "If you don't go to the Backdraft Ball with me, I'm gonna tell everyone you said Elon Musk is a genius who's going to save the country."

Horrified, he says, "That's a fucking lie! You know I hate him more than my dad!"

Lucy smiles meanly. "I do know that. No one else does, though."

Later, when she's alone, she sends the group chat two emojis: a helicopter and a thumbs up.

Finally, the big night arrives and everyone's dressed to the nines. Even Buck can't help but be a little excited, because he's in a really nicely tailored tux, courtesy of Ravi for some reason, and there's a literal mountain of scallops wrapped in bacon, which he stands next to for most of the night until Maddie, who came as Chimney's date, wanders over and asks why he's not mingling.

"I dunno," he says, shoving his sixty-seventh scallop into his mouth. "I-I always thought... I guess I hoped I'd come to one of these with Tommy, you know? He's such a sucker for the whole all-eyes-on-you thing. He never went to any of his school dances, not even prom, because he wouldn't get to dance with the people he really wanted. I... I wanted to be that for him."

While Buck turns to the scallop mountain—which is more of a foothill now, thanks to his tireless efforts—Maddie looks across the ballroom where Lucy is talking to Tommy. Their gazes lock. Over Tommy's shoulder, Lucy jerks her head toward the dance floor, where they're playing some golden oldies and dozens of ancient captains are dancing with their wives to The Girl From Yesterday.

Maddie nods, then grabs Buck's hand. "C'mon. I want to get at least one dance in before the night's over."

Pulling a scallop off a toothpick, Buck squints. "Where's Chim? Isn't that, like, one of his duties as your husband?"

"Last I saw him, he was trying to convince Chief Simpson to install crazy slides in all the firehouses," Maddie says sunnily. "And honestly? Chief Simpson looked intrigued. So suck it up and take your sister for a spin."

Buck rolls his eyes and pops one more scallop into his mouth for the road, but he goes with her without complaint. Maddie stops at their table and says she's going to text their babysitter. She sends the group chat the green circle emoji. It's go time.

Elsewhere, Lucy slips her phone into her purse, then grabs Tommy's arm and says, "Great news! Dana's gonna make the DJ play something else before I burn the building down, which means we can get a dance in."

Wordlessly, Dana gets out of her seat and heads toward the front of the room.

Lucy drags Tommy into the crowd and makes sure to keep his line of sight away from where Maddie is doing the same to Buck. They've only got one shot at this and the timing has to be perfect.

Her cheek on Buck's chest, Maddie holds Lucy's gaze and gently leads him into a half circle, just as Lucy does the same with Tommy. Lucy gives a sharp nod of her head and, hands on Tommy's arms, spins him around so that when Maddie puts a hand on Buck's chest and shoves him as hard as she can, Tommy's there to break his fall.

"H-Hey, what was th—" Buck looks up with wide, outraged eyes, but the words stick in his throat when he sees who caught him.

Tommy's mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Even if he'd been able to find the words, the sweet keys of an old piano would've drowned them out.

Smirking, Lucy shoves Tommy a little closer, just as Nat King Cole croons "Unforgettable... that's what you are."

Lucy makes a note to buy Dana lunch the next time they're on shift, because, damn, good choice.

Almost as if he's helpless to stop himself, Tommy tightens his hold on Buck's waist, wrapping his arm a little tighter around him, and Buck can't prevent a shaky gasp from punching out of him when he gets a whiff of Tommy's cologne. He puts a hand on Tommy's shoulder to steady himself, unerringly stepping closer until they're chest to chest.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't..." He trails off, caught in Tommy's gaze, and he doesn't blink out of fear that this is some mercury-induced hallucination from all the scallops.

Smiling a little, Tommy takes Buck's hand in his. "You're free to say no, but—"

"Yes," Buck says immediately, nodding, tightening his fingers around Tommy's. "Yeah, let's, uh. Yeah."

Catching Maddie's gaze, Lucy jerks her head back toward the refreshment table, where the rest of their group is waiting. Hen's got the biggest shit-eating grin on her face, and Nico is dabbing at the corners of his eyes with a corner of Dana's shawl.

"Nicely done," Lucy says to Maddie, who preens a little.

"If you'd let me in on your little scheme earlier, I could've had them back together in a day."

They accept the back slaps and high-fives they've more than earned, then turn just in time for Buck to rest his cheek against Tommy's as they sway together. Maddie squints a little, but she thinks she sees Tommy murmuring along with Natalie Cole. "No, never before... has someone been more..."

She sniffles a little and happily takes the plate of fruit and cheese that Chimney hands her.

"Save the Studio Ghibli tears for the wedding," he says teasingly, then adopts the weird Brooklyn accent he busts out sometimes. "Ya did good, kid."

"I did good," Dana breaks in. "And if they use this song for their first dance, I take full credit."

She looks over at Nico, who's using a toothpick—with a zucchini and goat cheese rollup still skewered on it—to get something out from beneath his nail, and smacks him upside the head.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I've stopped shaving," Eddie says to her, gesturing toward his face with a can of ginger ale. "Am I allowed to speak again?"

She gives him a deadpan look. "Give it another week, then maybe. Right now you look like you're going through puberty again."

"Better than being four," he says cheerfully.

The group content themselves with watching Buck and Tommy for another minute, but when Buck tilts his head ever so slightly to brush his nose against Tommy's, Lucy makes a face. "I guess this means we don't need to keep meeting up on Fridays, huh?"

"Whoever said that?" Hen grins. "I still haven't managed to beat you at air hockey, Donato. I demand a rematch."

"Plus, my friend Josh has been a little unlucky in love these days and could use a hand," Maddie chimes in, then gestures toward the dance floor. "Our results speak for themselves."

The song has changed, but Buck and Tommy haven't noticed, too busy wrapped up in each other.

Lucy tilts her head and smiles. It looks like Tommy's exhaled for the first time in weeks.

Don Henley gets to live another day.

[madamechrissy]

Silent Serenades

♔ An arranged Marriage with Duke Gojo ♔

♔ Pairings: Satoru Gojo x you, you x Nanami

♔ Warnings: Heavy, heavy fucking angst, jealousy, cunnilingus, fingering, sex, cheating on your side (reader's) surprise Satoru isn't a hoe for once! Toxic attraction, Gojo is toxic, reader is toxic. OOC. SO MUCH TENSION. Say hello to Mr. Nanami again. SLOW BURN remember that.

♔ Word count this chap: 9k

♔ Summary: you are the diamond of the season, he is the charming Duke, it’s the marriage of the decade. Prominent families joining, and it so happens that Duke Gojo is gorgeous. But, he doesn't want you, and now you're trapped in a loveless arranged marriage. Royal AU, dark Bridgerton vibes, Cruel Gojo x reader. OOC Set in 1800s England. Slow burn, enemies to lovers. Gojo is awful at first, HEAVY angst Basically- Gojo is a royal dick and doesn't wanna marry you

Comments/ reblogs always appreciated 🥰

Part Seven - Masterlist - Playlist

Part Eight- A Proposition

The Next Week

“What are we baking today, Mr. Nanami?” You ask teasingly, as your fluffy little puppy snuggles up on a little blanket Nanami folded, snacking on a ham bone Nanami had rather happily. Nanami chuckles as he unlaces your corset a bit, pecking little brushes of his lips on your neck.

“Muffins today, darling. The lawyer is coming in a couple hours, I figure we can have some tea and muffins ready. He’s a very nice man, also, a good friend of mine for years. Mmm, why do you smell so delectable?” Nanami inhales you right at the crook of your neck.

“You always say that, I am not sure, perhaps the bath essence I use.” He just hums, tying an apron around you, pecking more kisses on your cheeks, on your temple, as you fall into him.

“No, you smell better than usual. Maybe I missed you all week.” He whispers, hands pressing into your hips now, over the thin layers of your soft muslin gown, you exhale, body reacting to him, igniting under his firm touch.

“I missed you, Kento.” You turn then, blushing as he presses you back against him, you’re still nervous about making love again, so worried because last time it had hurt. You do not know if it will hurt again, even if it was pleasurable, you find yourself just a little nervous.

“You know we don’t have to do anything but bake, right darling?” You bite your lower lip, reaching back to brush your fingers across his cheek, feeling his light stubble prickly on your fingers.

“I am a little afraid, it did hurt and was a little uncomfortable… but I want to try again.” Nanami sighs, pecking a kiss on your lips softly, lips thankfully healed from Satoru Gojo’s bites.

You and Satoru had done nothing, you both have not even spoken, not since he came home that night, and you fully expected him to bring women home, but he’d been mostly locked up in his office. You’d walked by one night and his face had collapsed onto the desk. You only know through servant gossip that his Father had left many estates in shambles.

You both ate without a word, he would glance at you here and there, with cold blue eyes, but you enjoyed the silence, you enjoyed being able to compartmentalize your feelings, which were so jumbled for this man. You contemplate if you had any feeling at all, or if it was just inexperience and passion, and now you’re fully ready to take this dive.

To end this marriage.

You frequently find Satoru in your room, caressing your cheek, tucking you in your bed as you had that one time, you do not reciprocate, you do not react, let him be confusing and stupid, let him be lonely. What does it matter to you? The only reason you had not seen Nanami was a busy schedule of appearances as ‘the Duchess’ , a title you will not have soon.

This morning, Nanami had been very clear with his intentions.

“When I leave, I wonder where I will go? I think we have an estate out of town I could stay in…” You murmured to Nanami earlier, and he scoffed, cupping your face, lips a breath away.

“You will stay with me, love. How could you think I’d help and not offer you to stay?”

“But it would be so scandalous!”

“So we go to Gretna Green and marry.”

You blink at that, eyes wide. “Marry me? Are you… Kento, are you so sure about this?”

“I’m very serious. When have I not been?” You had exhaled, as your puppy happily ran around both your legs, and Nanami picked him up, smiling, as you do.

“You two are adorable together. I suppose we would make a cute family.” He smirks then, touching your stomach carefully.

“Darling I need more than a puppy, I’m afraid I’d have to put a little bun in this oven. When you’re ready.” You’d been reduced to a blushing mess, touching his hand, snuggling with him and the puppy. “Is it too bold?”

“You ask the lady who said ‘take me’ what is bold?” He chuckles, as you giggle, and you both had gently kissed.

A marriage, babies…

“I am not rich, but I am well off, but I promise I would give you all a good life. I would work so hard for it.” Nanami says softly, and you feel your eyes misty with emotions.

“I have no doubt of this, Kento.”

You never have to wonder what Nanami wants, the man says it, he does not go back and forth in a stupid, endless cycle, he is bold and forthright with you. You gasp when his hand slips back around to your tummy, you exhale, shivering a bit in his hold, as you all stand in his little kitchen.

“Will I get pregnant? From…” It’s his turn to blush, clearing his throat.

“No, I um… remember when I pulled out?” You turn to him, holding his hands and shyly looking down at your slippered feet.

“When you… on my tummy?” You croak out, and he nods then, brushing your hair back off your neck.

“Yes, darling, that was so you would not become pregnant. I would not put you in such a position, especially before we are to marry. We do not know how long the proceedings of the annulment will take.”

“So how do… how does someone… get pregnant?” You ask cautiously, and he clears his throat, taking a breath, thumbs brushing the backs of your knuckles.

“Well, I would cum inside you.”

“I’m confused.”

He laughs softly, tilting your chin up, kissing the tip of your nose. “I would not spill my seed on you, but in you.”

Your body heats up at the thought, and you find yourself shifting your thighs. Nanami notices this with a quirk of his lips, his hazel eyes narrowing. “That sounds most intimate, Sir.”

“It is very much so, I have not done that with a woman. But you seem as if you like the idea.” You bury your face shyly in his chest.

“Hush, you tease me Sir.” He moans ever so lightly, rubbing his hands up and down your back as he holds you.

“You’re adorable to tease, do you blame me Duchess?”

“I will soon not be Duchess.” You murmur, and he smiles against your temple as he holds onto you. “But I will still be darling of course.”

“Of course you will be. So I think we rushed the first time, I did not work you up enough, that’s my thoughts on why it was uncomfortable. You know the prior times where I spent more attention on you?” You nod against him. “Well perhaps I got too excited, like a boy in leading strings with his first.”

“Did you get so excited?” You tease back, and he sighs, kissing you softly, mouth hot and hungry, you whine softly into it, body reacting to his careful caresses.

“I did, I beat myself up all week, I could have made it much better, but you looked so sexy I lost it.”

“Oh, Kento it was still so good!”

“No, not as good as it could have been. Now you’re worried-”

“Not at all!”

“You are. It will not be painful again, but also I’ll make sure she’s fully ready, I promise, love.” You whine out softly again when he’s kissing you, holding you so close, picking you up for a moment. “Mmm, only if you want to try again. I can wait, however long you need.”

“Kento, I am not patient, you know.” You run your hands down his chest, and he grins at that, white teeth flashing.

“Darling, you must bake with me first.”

“Oh, the muffins, yes! Let me show you my skills, Sir.” You and Kento set to work now, and he’s adding ingredients as you’re stirring them up in a bowl, wrist turning as you work the spatula. Soon you all fall into a comfortable side by side, you’re licking batter off one of his fingers, and he’s lapping up powdered sugar from your nose with a laugh.

It’s quiet in Nanami’s apartments, it’s so sweet in it's quiet too, as you both are softly speaking here and there, and you’re pouring the batter into the little paper cups. Was this happiness, enjoying his company, feeling comfortable, feeling so special doing the most basic things? Not feeling conflicted, cold, that bottomless pit of despair that was your husband.

“Perfect, as always, love.” Nanami says then, and you grin up at him, watching his hazel eyes glint as they crinkle at the corners.

“They are going to be so delicious!” You agree, measuring and smoothing out each muffin, and then Nanami is taking off your apron carefully, hanging it up and then doing the same with his own.

“Something else here is delicious.” He whispers, cupping your chin in his hand, and you flush, his intent hitting hard.

“Oh indeed, Sir? Are you sure?” He hums to himself, slipping your skirts up your legs and thighs then, eyes locked on yours as he watches your eyes flutter shut when he finds your heat over your pantalets.

“I’m very sure. I think it’s… over here…” He slips his middle finger under your waist band, and you’re trembling, growing slick under his expert touch, so gentle as it strokes your slit.

“Th-there? You… um… sure?” He laughs softly, swirling his finger, his other hand gripping your backside.

“Let’s taste-test.” He pulls his finger back, sucking on the tip now, and you yank him down to you then, clinging to his strong shoulders, tip toeing as you kiss. “See, so yummy.”

“Is it now?” You bite your lower lip now, as he’s picking you up in his arms, kissing you over and over, and you melt into him, into this sweet, sexy man. A perfect man.

When he’s got you on the edge of his bed, he’s gently undressing you, exhaling at each revealed part of your skin, hands trailing down your shoulders, your breasts, thumbs playing your nipples, which respond eagerly. You’re still in your white stockings and garter belt, bare everywhere else, when he kneels between your thighs, sucking on a nipple.

“Mmm!” You cry out, as he’s looking up at you, adoringly, but there’s something that fucks with you, Satoru Gojo’s stupid blue eyes, so obsessively staring at you, as he’s furious of what you’ve done. As he called you a whore and choked you, biting your lips bloody. Why did your body respond like that!?

You know he is horrible, but you also know he has been with no one since that night, even your Nan had commented, and here you are, letting Nanami touch you, see you fully, Satoru had barely seen you, you had never seen him, his body. You’d done less with your husband by far than with Nanami.

And Satoru deserves that, and you don’t deserve his cruelty, why should you suffer endlessly if you could instead feel happy, feel desire, feel loved? When you just feel so good for once, it’s like with Nanami it’s as easy as a beautiful morning, like some lovely picnic at the park, and with Satoru Gojo, that Duke, it was like being plunged into the Atlantic ocean.

Freezing cold.

How could Satoru be so cold, yet when he touched you it was like fire that spread all over? You shake those thoughts off, it’s not as if anything could or should ever come from those feelings, for once Satoru leaves you alone, and you get a blissful reprieve from such endless sorrow, though you’re still a stranger in that manor. Soon, maybe you’d have a home.

A real home, something comfortable. Nanami’s apartments are perhaps two rooms in Gojo Manor, but they feel so lovely, so cozy. Nanami feels so good as he’s kissing you, his lips drinking you in, as your hands entangle in his soft locks, feeling the blunt ends of his cut, he’d just gone to the barber today, grinning as he’d taken his hat off and shown you.

You’d do anything to keep a smile on Nanami’s face, and never hurt this man again, to give your full self and heart into it. Your eyes roll back when he finds you again, your eager pussy, hips rocking up for more of his rough hands, but gentle touches, and his lips part as he watches you, as he’s pushing a thick finger in your little hole.

“Mmm, s’good Ken!” You cry out, and he pauses, smiling a bit, pecking kisses down the side of your face.

“Ken, hmm? Do I have a nickname darling?” You smile at him, nodding then, before gasping in pleasure as he presses on that spot.

“Of course you do. Don’t I have a nickname?” He exhales, spreading your thighs apart now, hands on your waist as he pushes you to lay back, you’re gasping as he’s flicking his tongue on your clit, still using that finger. “Kento!”

“Mmm, I like Ken. Use it, darling.” He teases with a grin, and you giggle but it’s cut off when he’s swirling your clit with the tip of his tongue, and he’s spreading you wide, moaning against your pussy, and you’re feeling that heat build. You’re writhing under him, and he’s humming against you. “That’s it, love. Good girl.”

At that, you’re soaring even higher, as he’s looking up at you with that lazy gaze, lavishing your every inch, focusing on your clit more and more, and you’re clinging to him tightly, “Ken… going to…”

“Mmm, yes love.” He says softly, and diving back down, then you’re cumming all over his handsome face, and he’s still licking you, in little circles, drawing more wetness. Then he is smacking kisses on the lips of your sex, sliding up, his chin glistening, making you blush.

“Ken.” You say softly, reaching down to feel him over his trousers, so thick and hard already, and your tummy clenches, still so nervous. You don’t know if you made the right decision last time, so upset, now with a week of clarity you hope you’re more prepared emotionally.

“We do not have to do more, I could just do that, you know.” He says then, ever the gentleman Nanami is. You pull out his length, exhaling and kissing his tip, looking up at him then, and his eyes flutter shut, jaw clenching as you swirl your tongue around him, sucking him into your mouth. “Darling, you’re so good. You’re… you’ve only… with me?”

You pause then, blinking, as Nanami’s holding you back a bit. “I have not done this with anyone.”

“Not even him?” He asks then, and you back away, legs closing, tears pricking your eyes, making Nanami curse, covering his eyes with his hand now. “Fuck, please forget I asked that.”

“I have not done that with him. I know I hurt you telling you what he’s done, I feel horrible still. Maybe I should check on those muffins?” You stand then, and he grabs your shoulders carefully, pulling you against him.

“Please, I’m sorry. I know I can’t be this way, but the thought of him with you makes me so sick. I want you all to myself.” He whispers, kissing you once more, and you exhale, understanding him, how could he be okay with you still living with Gojo, why wouldn’t he worry? “That was wrong of me to do. Now you’re wanting to just leave my bed and you look so pretty on it.”

You look down now, swallowing, your throat dry as you try to focus. “Perhaps we should not go so far if you’re still hurting from me having done something with him?”

“No, no, fuck I want you so badly I cannot think of anything else.” He whispers, cupping your face gently, tilting your face up to look at him, feeling his passion with every breath, and you feel so fucking awful, how can you even be with someone like Nanami Kento? When you have thoughts of Satoru Gojo, he should be upset, you had so easily betrayed Nanami.

You will not even be with Gojo, stay with him.

You must shove the thoughts away.

“I have not done anything but kiss him once since you and I were intimate, and he angrily kissed me. Clearly upset. That’s what I do, I hurt people.” You whisper, feeling emotions stuck in your throat, unable to look at him, at his sweet expression and handsome features. It is what you do, you hurt Nanami, you hurt Satoru, even if he is horrible.

You hurt yourself.

You try to pull back, as you now are too worried of hurting him, your sweet Nanami, and you can tell the toll it takes on him. Nanami doesn’t let you leave his embrace, however, he’s pulling your naked body closer, cupping your face with one hand, eyes glimmering with his own emotion.

“You do not hurt me. I should not have asked.” His brows knit together, and you shake your head.

“You should ask, and I hate that you have to. It’s hurting me to see the pain on your face.” You say brokenly, and Nanami kisses you then, more passionate than he usually does, more intense now, lips firm against yours. You inhale him, that soft sandalwood mixing with the blueberry muffins you all make, intoxicating, and you feel him so strong, so sure.

“Please forget this moment. Let me make it up to you.” He asks pleadingly, and you shake your head.

“It’s fine, I promise. No need to make anything up to me, it’s just how you feel.” You brush his hair back with a tremulous little smile, looking up at him, then gasping as he’s picked you up again, laying you in his bed, sinking between your thighs, making you gasp.

“I’m not done with you just yet, darling.” He’s kissing down your neck, and you moan softly as he licks and sucks that spot behind your ear, and you’re shivering in pleasure, in desire. “I’m sorry I lost it around you just a bit, how can I not want you for just me?”

He’s gripping you tighter with those big hands, and you’re falling apart under his touch. “S’okay, Ken. Express yourself, don’t be afraid of speaking your- ah- feelings, it’s- ngh!”

He’s biting your neck now, hands sliding down your thighs, pulling one up over his arm, as he leans up and looks down at you, sandy hair falling over a brow. You bite your lower lip under his intense study of you, your breasts heaving up and down, nipples pronounced and aching.

“I fear I’ll scare you away, pretty Duchess.” You shake your head, brushing that hair back, pecking a kiss on his chin. “I crave for me to be the only man for you, the only one to touch you.”

“Oh, Ken- ah!” He’s pressing against your entrance now, exhaling, his eyes locked on yours, studying your reactions. You nod, testing it by rolling your hips up, and he moans, pressing deeper, you brace for pain, but there isn’t any, just a fullness, just a lot of stretching, pressure. “Mmm!”

“Are you alright my love?” He whispers, teeth clenched, and you nod, sucking in a breath as he strokes your face, shoving in so deep, you’re so wet it doesn’t hurt at all but it’s so much pressure.

“I’m so full? It’s a lot.” He pulls back a bit, sliding his fingers inside you instead of his cock, crooking them up as he’s kissing you over and over, and you’re clinging to his back, feeling the strong muscles contract. He makes you cum again, drinking your cries, then slides in, and fuck it feels so good then, you moan into his mouth.

“That’s it, you need a lot of warm up, I see.” He teases, and you giggle, breathless, as he holds one of your hands, entwining your fingers together. “Better, love?”

“Much. You can move, Sir.” You tease, then gasp as he does, as he begins, your back arching. He is stroking in and out of you, rolling his hips and bracing himself over you, lips peppering kisses everywhere he can, as your eyes roll back and your toes curl, and you feel such intense sensations. “Ken!”

“That’s it, my perfect darling. Cum on me, please, let me feel you.” He whispers, so husky, and his words along with his motions make you shatter, cumming all over him, pulsing around his cock. He pauses, sucking in a breath, head falling back. “You feel so exquisite, darling.”

“Ngh, y-you feel s’good.” You whisper back, as the gentle waves rock over you, and Nanami’s slowing his thrusts, kissing you sweetly.

“Wish I could cum inside you, so badly.” He says and you get flustered, now that you know what that means. “I won’t yet, love.”

“Yet.” You whisper back, earning his smile, and fuck Nanami’s smile is brilliant, as he makes sure you feel so good, as he’s caressing you everywhere you’re sensitive, as he gently rocks his hips, so not to hurt you, and soon he’s finding his own release, pulling out and resting his head on yours as he cums, sticky hot ribbons all over your belly button and tummy.

“Oh my god, you feel too good.” He says then, kissing you as you lean up on your elbows, and you blush furiously at the sight.

“It seems so wanton, Sir.” You say with a giggle, and he smirks.

“It is rather wanton, I’m afraid. I corrupted you.”

“Not at all. I am no angel.”

“You look an angel. Let me clean you.” He’s gently running a washcloth over your pussy, and you hiss a bit. “Too much love?”

“No, just a lot to get used to.” You smile reassuringly, running your hand up his chiseled cheekbone. “It was so much easier this time. I was afraid for nothing.”

He exhales in relief, shoulders stooping slightly. “Thank the gods, I was so worried.”

“No need to worry, indeed, I believe I quite enjoy it.” He grins now, and you both kiss over and over as the timer beeps, and he pulls you close against him, as you snuggle into his embrace.

“I want to take you out to town, not hide you.” He says huskily after you’ve dressed and turned off the oven, and you frown, feeling his need and devotion. “So beautiful they’ll question what you see in me.”

You glare then, shoving at his chest. “Excuse me! You’re so handsome, you better stop that!”

He grins now, mischievous. “How will you punish me hmm?”

“I could come up with ideas.” He laughs, the sound resonating in the room, and then he checks his bronze pocket watch.

“I eagerly look forward to them. It’s almost time to meet the lawyer, are you sure you’re ready, darling?” He asks softly, and you nod then, as a million thoughts whirl inside your mind.

A life of your own, with a man that loves you.

Baking muffins and making love, versus…

Whatever the fuck Gojo was.

“I’m ready.”

Later that evening 

You and your puppy Satoru walk into the manor, and for the… seventh day in a row? Satoru is not with a woman. You tilt your head curiously as the puppy Satoru comes to the Duke, and he pets him with a little smile, looking exhausted. Your puppy loves him and you’re not sure why, but it seems Gojo is also a little affectionate with him now.

Satoru Gojo looks at you then, assessing your body, and his lips go in a terse line. “Have fun, Duchess?” Duke Gojo asks, his voice dark and desperate, as you clutch your stack of papers tightly to your chest.

“I did indeed. And you, Duke?” You ask nonchalantly, coming into the dining room, lit by the soft chandeliers, as Satoru pours over his ledger as he sips on whiskey. “Is that your dinner?”

He laughs bitterly. “What care you? You care nothing for me. I am surprised you’ve even spoken to me today.” He says, gripping his glass so tight his knuckles whiten, veins popping out the back of his hand. You feel guilt eating at you, but you shouldn’t.

You shouldn’t.

“You care naught for me, so what does it matter?” You say, and he gulps his drink down now, sighing, shutting his swirling, tired blue eyes.

“I’m tired of watching you come back with marks from another man. I’m so fucking tired of it.” He speaks roughly, looking at you with eyes glassy from drink, red from exhaustion. You scoff as you walk forward, so close to him, that you inhale him, and his scent.

“And you-”

“I’m with no one!” His desperation kills you, as he looks over your body with silent hunger. “Can’t say the same for you.”

“Well welcome to my first couple of weeks with you, manwhore.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Maybe you should bring them around, you’re awfully sad not fucking random women.”

“Sure, that’s why I’m sad.” He stands then, pouring another drink, as you come up to him then, sucking up your stupid feelings. “What on Earth is this!?” Satoru demands, fingering the enormous stack of legal papers you hand him then, and you giggle a bit, earning his icy blue glare.

“Have you learned to read, Duke Gojo?” You tap the top of the stack, and watch his brows draw together.

“What the… bloody hell…” He’s thumbing through them now, fervently going over it, mouth open, as you cling to the little satchel with the gift and note Nanami Kento gave you at the meeting.

“Indeed, it’s all in there, I had a lawyer write it up. Witnesses of our lack of intimacy are on page twenty two.” You say with a grin, and he glares, flipping to it, mouth wide open.

“Suguru and Shoko signed it!?”

“Mmhmm, they did not mind at all confirming those details, that we have not even once shared a room, let alone a bed. Oh, by the way, I kissed Suguru.”

“You what!?” He stands then, furiously, as you giggle.

“Indeed, we would have gone much further but… alas, he’s a little loyal to you I suppose. I believe he wanted to… oh, lick under my skirts he said! Why it’s a popular thing, all you men want to. Hmm. Should have let him, huh?” You smirk as you watch Gojo lose it, as you turn and spin, as if in a dance, heading to grab a glass of wine. “Mmm, yummy.”

“You insolent fucking brat. You kissed my best friend?” You shrug, nodding a bit, as his eyes swirl with emotions, as they dilate with anger.

“As I said, I should have done more, he was such a good kisser, hmm.”

“You fucking brat.” He snatches you by your free wrist, and you suck in a breath, steeling yourself with a nasty smile. You’ve had enough of trying to break through, of caring, you’re so far gone from him, you just can’t wait to hurt him, just the tiniest bit, before you never see him again. “Better kisser than me?”

“Oh yes, so gentle, not crude and nasty and-”

“You loved my kisses.” He whispers huskily, earning your laugh.

“Sure, whatever you think. Ah, you know Duke Gojo, someone else signed, take a gander.” You sip your wine, raising a brow, as he sputters again.

“Catherine!?”

“Mmm, yes. I saw her and we had lunch, she is too good for you in my opinion, quite a gem that girl. She apologized for everything. I think we’ll be friends!” You sip more, a little dripping on your lips, you touch the tip of your tongue to your lower lip as Satoru looks at you hungrily, then back at the paper, forlorn. “Continue on now.”

“You’ll give me half the dowry, why!?”

“It’s the best option, to make sure it’s swift, what a splendid deal, a month of marriage for that much money!”

“You wish to get rid of me so badly?” He whispers, looking up through his snowy lashes, and you nod then, tensing a bit.

“I’m willing to give you seventy percent, but please allow me thirty, for any children I have. I want to make sure they have something.” Satoru grabs you by your shoulders then, glaring.

“Children?”

“Mmm, of course, Kento wants two or three. If we shall be so lucky! And if they’re girls, they’ll need a dowry from me.”

“Kento. That’s his name?” He whispers, and you nod just a bit, as his breaths grow heavy, as he blinks tears. “Children with him?”

“Indeed, it’s what I’ll want, to be a mother. I love children. You’d know that if you ever asked about me, if you ever cared.” You clear your throat, stepping back, pouring another glass. “All in all, it’s a splendid deal. I suggest you go over it with your lawyer, I am quite exhausted, I do not know how you have energy after sex.”

“After… after…” You giggle again, snatching his bottle and turning, your skirts swishing behind you. “Come back here!”

“No thanks, I’ve had enough of looking at you. Go find some whores to fuck, it’s your only hobby it seems. Tata!” You saunter up the stairs, hearing the crashing, hearing his growl, then hearing his cries, soft sobs he assumes you don’t hear, but you’re happy he’s sobbing.

Fuck Satoru Gojo.

You eagerly set the bottle of wine down on your table, locking your chamber door and sipping one more, as you open the note.

My love, I cannot get you a ring yet, but please have this, it is not much but I wanted you to wear something from me. I will count the seconds until I may gaze upon your sweet face again.

Yours,

Nanami.

You tear up then, as your heart swells for this man, this man that has become so dear, remembering his caresses this morning, remembering the pleasure you found in his arms. The second time was so much better, so good you crave him already again, aching until next time you can feel him, filling you so full.

You shake yourself out of this heated dream, shaky hands opening a little velvet pouch, revealing a little delicate gold necklace, with a tiny little gold charm, and on the back it was two letters, K.N., his initials of course. Your heart thuds as you take off the heavy diamonds and sapphires Satoru’s money had bought, putting on instead this little necklace.

Fuck it feels good to rip off Satoru, and replace it with Nanami.

You hear a knocking on your door, and you roll your eyes.

“Go the fuck away, Duke. I’m done speaking.” You finger the necklace, smiling at your reflection. Nanami’s wife one day? It seemed so far away, but now…

Now anything is possible.

“Please, let me in. Please can we talk?” He is pleading, and you hear it, how desperate he is, and fuck if you were stupid you would let him, but you must become stronger. You can never, ever trust this man.

“No.” You hope your voice sounds more firm than you feel.

“Please, can I just… explain myself!? Please! I have not done anything since that day, could you just… fucking talk to me?” He’s slamming a hand on the door, resting his head, and you want so badly to let him in, fuck. You cannot fall for this.

You take a breath. “No thanks. Don’t care to hear. Good night Duke.” You hear his footsteps fade away, and you take several breaths, tilting your head as you see the small glimmer of hope. “Mrs. Nanami, hmm… I quite like that sound.” You whisper to yourself, picturing it.

A beautiful bride, a handsome husband, happiness, there would be no Nanami Kento fingering a maid in the gardens, there would be no Nanami Kento smacking you and downing you on your wedding night, and you sobbing on the cold marble floor of your room, alone.

No, he would adore you.

You hear Satoru slamming his own door to his bedchamber, you hear things flinging against the wooden walls, tentatively walking to where your walls connect, placing your forehead on it. You hear him then, cursing, and it breaks you when you hear pieces and words, wishing your stupid heart did not feel bad, wishing you were not so caring, so kind.

“Worthless… why can’t I… why did I… she’s not her… she’s in love… I can’t do this… fucking hell…” It’s a long time before he settles, and you choke on your own quiet sobs, wishing this stupid man could have not caused this. Somewhere deep in this evil manwhore is a tortured fucking soul, one you recognize, because you are also one, just wrapped in a pretty bow.

You find yourself sobbing right with him, wishing more than anything there was not this foolish barrier of his own making, that Satoru Gojo did not push everything away, and suffers alone. But you also suffer right along with him, struggling to swipe your tears away and laying in your bed, curled into a little ball, as you wonder at what a different life would be.

One where he just had tried.

That night you feel his presence again, feel Gojo’s long fingers caressing your cheek as you sleep, and for once you don’t pretend, you grab his wrist, opening your eyes and blinking in the dark. He gasps, tensing as he’s hovered over you, with his face too perfect to exist, so beautiful it makes you ache, makes you wish his soul was half that pretty.

But his soul was cold, dark, he was cold, dark, an icy pond that you’d be tempted to skate on, only to fall through the cracks, and lose your breath. And you feel his breath, blowing back your baby hairs on your forehead gently, as his blue eyes glitter even in the dark, the moonlight casting shadows on the sharp planes of his face.

“Why do you come here at night?” You ask finally, and he gulps, unmoving, lips parted but saying nothing. You scoff. “Of course, when will you answer anything.”

“I come here because you look like an angel in your sleep.” He says hoarsely, and you suck in a breath at that, as you hear his vulnerability, his thumb stroking the apple of your cheek. “I can forget how much I have hurt you, you look peaceful, I can… pretend.”

“I…” You don’t know how to answer, letting go of his wrist then, leaning up and clearing your throat. “I do not understand you.”

“I do not understand myself.” He says, sitting on your bed at the edge, but far too close, you can feel the heat of his body as you study him, his dark circles so prominent on his pale skin.

“Are you not sleeping well?” You ask then, sitting up and scooching back, feeling your cool silk pillows over your thin night shift. He laughs without humor.

“No, I’m not sleeping at all.” Satoru rakes a hand through his snow white hair, messier than it usually is. He has stubble you’ve never seen as well, his cheeks just a little hollowed.

“Maybe you miss your whores?” You ask, raising a brow, and he snorts, rolling his pretty blue eyes.

“Indeed, you seem to be the one fucking now, I have no time. I have too much to try to fix.”

“Ah, your father’s mess?”

“You know?”

“Just a bit. Seems he tripled the taxes in the villages.” Satoru nods, then looks at you carefully. “What is it?”

“A proposition.”

Your turn to snort. “What sort of proposition?”

“Not sex, do not worry. You have enough sex I’m sure, with your… Kento is his name, hmm?” You absentmindedly touch that necklace, and Satoru’s eyes dart to it curiously. “Do you like it, sex?”

You laugh at that, shaking your head and leaning up. “We are speaking of sex with each other?”

“Why not, we’re not together, we never will be. Perhaps we could at least not hate each other at the end of this?” You blink a bit in shock, leaning back.

“You will always hate me.” You whisper, the words like vitriol in your throat, and Satoru sighs, looking away, rubbing the back of his neck, his lips open and close, then repeating the action, making your mind run, what exactly was he thinking, and why were you still intrigued.

“I am trying not to hate you.” His words are soft, and just confusing. “I've been trying to avoid having another woman while we’re still together here, since that night, I know it was hurtful to you…”

You glare as you remember it, his nasty words, his slaps… his kiss, fuck you wish you remembered th… “The night you fucked the ‘entire brothel’ you mean?”

“Two women.”

“Oh, only two!”

He glares. “Insolent brat. Will you let me finish?”

You sigh. “Fine then.

“I  was hurt that you seem to not want me, not one bit, do you? You wanted another man.” He bites out the words carefully, as you hear that hurt in his voice, the voice that had been so tortured.

You glare. “And you want other women.”

“I should have understood what you did, I pushed you there.” His voice breaks, vulnerable, as his fists clench and unclench. “I thought I could fix everything in one goddamn day, but you were already gone.”

“I was never here, really, you never let me be.” You’re struggling to keep in your emotions in the quiet night, but Gojo has tears trailing down his face, as he leans close, and you stop him. “Do not kiss me.”

“I was not going to. Just…” He brushes your hair back, touching your cheek gently, and you shiver, at how that touch alone ruins you, as he runs a thumb along your lower lip, eyes staring so intensely you feel them like a touch. “Of course anyone would want you, I was the one who denied you your marital rights. Of course you want an annulment. Who would want to be with me?”

You frown then, as his long white lashes lower. “All I know is your cruelty, Duke Gojo. I know nothing but that you did not want me.”

“But it was all a lie. All of it. I… it matters naught, I imagine this… Kento makes you happy, pleased?” You nod, and he fingers the little charm, flipping it over and then looking back at you. “Does he cum in you?”

“What!?” You smack his hand, glaring. “Do you cum in your mistresses?”

“Fuck no. I don’t want brats.” You sigh, rolling your eyes.

“That is about what I expected. Even when you marry a woman you love, and not me?” You ask, and he shakes his head.

“I will not have children, it’s best this way. I would not be a good father.” Your heart breaks then, for this cruel man, for this messy, fucked up Duke who you should not even speak to.

“Why do you think that?” You ask then, softly, and he smirks just a bit, brushing his fingers along your collarbone, goosebumps raising up, your nipples taut in the sheer gown, apparent more and more with your quick breaths. He notices, clearly, licking a full lower lip, as you tense, but he does not do more, his jaw locks.

“I am afraid I’d be like my father. I look just like him. They say I even act like him, and maybe I do.” You wonder then, what his father has done, but you should not care, it’s no excuse for him, none.

Why do you care?

“I will never talk to my child as my mother does.” You say softly, and he smiles a bit, dropping his hand, now resting on your thigh over a soft blanket.

“I know you would not.”

“Thus, we do not become our parents, but it’s ultimately up to you if you want children, it does not have anything to do with me. Well, it won’t soon.”

He blinks through more emotion, and fuck you just want to hug him, hold him, and how can you want this, how can you!? What is this lingering feeling squeezing your heart like a vise, ruining your goddamn soul? Why can you feel the very breath being sucked out of your lungs as you study this cold, broken, beautiful man.

“You are too kind, you know. Even when you’re nasty and use your tongue to whip those cruel comments, you’re still kind.” You bite your lower lip, brows drawing together as he studies you. “I suppose I have no right to ask about sex, I just would not like a child, especially another man.”

“He does not cum in me.” You say then, flushed, as you watch his fists clench on your blankets. “He cums on me.”

“On you? Ah.” He clears his throat, as you have the most awkward conversation you can imagine, talking to your husband about your lover. “And you cum?”

You’re blushing furiously, brushing your hair back, as you feel heat rising between your thighs. “Yes, I do.”

“During sex?”

“Yes.”

“Well at least you’re getting fucked properly.” You giggle then, at the ridiculous nature of this, and he looks at you with narrowed eyes.

“What do you care if I am? It would still be me getting fucked.”

“And how much do you cum?”

You roll your eyes. “During sex? Once or twice. The first time… it hurt a bit. Now it’s much more pleasurable.”

“Once or twice.” He smirks then, eyes drifting down your body slowly, and you clear your throat, blush back in full force as he assesses you. “That’s good for foreplay, but I try to have my women cumming until they can’t function.”

You gulp, throat dry now, fiddling with the bow on your bodice. “Kento is a caring, gentle lover to me. He cares about my pleasure.”

“Yes, well.” He leans forward, until your noses almost touch, and you inhale Satoru’s sweet scent, feel his cool breath on your overheated lips. “You’ll not find out, but I am not gentle, I fuck and I fuck hard. I’d fuck the shit out of you, beat that pretty pussy up till it’s a puffy mess, have your knees so weak you collapse.”

You say nothing, your heart pounding in your chest, as vivid images fill your addled brain, and all you can whisper is - “Ah.”

He chuckles just a bit, running his fingers up and down your cheek again. “Want to know why I really haven’t fucked anyone since the night you told me?”

“Why?” You whisper, eyes darting to his lips, struggling to keep your composure, where is your composure?

“Because I can’t cum, they can’t get me off, not when it’s you in my head, even knowing you’re fucking him, I’d choose you over anyone. And I hate it.” He speaks through gritted teeth, pulling your hair gently then, and you can’t stop the pathetic whine, and oh he notices.

“Why can’t you cum? You could before?”

“I haven’t been able to finish since you dripped down my mouth.”

“You could lick someone else?”

“I have.” You hate the lurch in your stomach. “It’s not special anymore, I suppose, thought I’d try it out. But it did nothing for me. Suppose the brothel workers enjoyed.”

“You are skilled.” He smirks again and you glare. “Somewhat.”

“Somewhat indeed. But no, Princess, I wouldn’t take it easy, especially now that you’re not a virgin, I’d have your legs in the air, fucking you so deep I bruise your insides, so deep I’m everywhere.” He says softly, as if he’s saying something sweet and not lewd, not ridiculous. You shiver as you feel that ache for him, the one that never goes away, the one you despise.

“I did not see you go so rough with your mistresses.” You say, and he grins fully now, with his sharp teeth.

“I said with you. I’d take out my anger on that perfect, tight little cunt, I’d fucking ruin you for him, until you’re crying pretty tears, covered in my cum, covered in bite marks, ass bruised from my smacks.” You have no clue what he means, but you’re fucking wet, hot and sticky, and his eyes lower as if the mother fucker could tell. “You’ll not have to find out, no worries.”

“Indeed.” Your voice breaks, and you clear your throat. “I very much enjoy my lover, I will not stop seeing him.”

“Here’s the proposition. You will stop fucking him just until we’re not together, and I also will see no women.”

“What, I do not believe you!”

“You have my word.”

“Why do I care!?”

“Because, I will give you the full dowry back, and agree to the annulment.” You gasp at that, looking at him wide eyed. “I never wanted it. Give it to your children you have with your baker.”

“I… that’s so generous?” You whisper, and Satoru shrugs.

“I’m rich enough. I’ll agree to it in a month’s time, but I need you to make appearances at the villages with me, help me make it right. You’re a lot kinder, and so loved by people, they will listen to you. If you can… pretend as we have been, a little longer, I will sign it with no issues, and even tell our families it’s our decision.”

“You only want me to help you?”

“Yes, I cannot do it alone, and… even if you’ll be gone soon, it would help me tremendously. Also, if I can make some amends to the horrible man I’ve been, and perhaps help you get rid of me, let you be happy…” He touches that gold necklace, and your heart is racing so hard you think it will just jump out. “Let you have children, have a smile on your face.”

“Why!? Why couldn’t you have been this way before!” You say then, so goddamn frustrated, and he frowns, looking away, locking up. Of course he is. “Why could you have not tried! Was I so terrible at first?”

“You were nothing but perfect. It’s all on me.” He clears his throat, leaning close, as you lean back, and he smiles sadly.

“So why no Nanami?”

“Just… please, give me that one thing. And you’ll be free soon to be with him as much as you want.” He says then, and you sigh, thinking of how you will explain this to Nanami, who was already so… possessive. What would this do to him?

But this was a good idea, and you could be free to marry him, to move on, and have enough money to take care of any children. And Satoru helping you with both of your parents was invaluable. All to just pretend for a bit, and you do not mind helping the village or it’s inhabitants.

“I’ll do it.” You say then, holding your hand out for a shake, and he takes it, smiling a bit, the corner of his lips quirking, as he brings it to his lips, shocking you, Satoru was no gentleman.

“I do not deserve your kindness, but it’s appreciated. I should… leave you to your sleep.” You want to pull him to you, you want to kiss his pretty lips, as you sit there, eyes wide as you look at him, as he stands, and your hand still grip his. “What, you want a demonstration of how I’d ruin you for anyone?”

“No, you dick!” You scowl, smacking him then, and he’s chuckling, that devious grin far too attractive.

“Your nipples lie every time.”

“I’m cold, being around such a cold man.” You say, crossing your arms over your breasts, only for him to lean down, pressing his full lips to your cheek, then your jaw, then your ear. You hate how your head falls back, how your cunt throbs from just that around nothing, how you bite your lip so hard.

“Oh Princess, I am actually… burning hot. Burning for you.” You cry out, shaking your head, and he sighs, hand cupping your face, tilting your chin up to stare at him in the night. “I do burn for you, but you don’t want me, and I don’t blame you. I will let you be, once I get some progress done. I can keep to myself.”

“I… oh. Um. All right.” You say then, raising your brows as he pecks a sweet kiss on you temple. “How can I trust you’re not lying?”

“You cannot take my word I am sure, but I will honor the deal. In a month’s time you can be free of me.” The pain in his voice almost breaks you, but you nod, trying to suck up your emotions. “We have an accord, Princess?”

“We have an accord, Duke.”

“Seal it with a kiss?”

“No!” He’s chuckling, ruffling your hair as he stands then, heading toward the door, and every part of your stupid body is begging him to come back, so you shove it down hard. But… “Duke Gojo?”

He turns at the door, eyes dark from the shadows, but you feel it, his desire mirroring yours, but it’s stupid, and foolish, and what’s it matter!? So what if he’s not a whore for a moment, he would soon not be yours, and you not his, and you both could live your lives.

It was ideal.

“Um, good night.” You mumble, unsure why you stopped him in the first place, and you watch his face soften, before hardening a bit, lips in a firm line.

“Good night, Princess.” It sounds too good coming from Satoru Gojo’s lips, and you wish you could not enjoy them so much, could ignore everything this man does to you. Are you stupid to believe him? “I swear, I will keep my word.” He cuts off your thoughts, as if he read them yourself, and you give him a little nod, pulling your comforter over yourself, shivering in the chill of the room.

“I will believe you and keep our agreement.” You say softly, and he nods a bit, eyes lingering, then he leaves, shutting your door with a quiet click.

What was that?

What were you thinking?

But somehow, you feel he was being sincere, for once, and you want to trust him, that he was sincere, that somewhere in there was a decent human being. He wanted to help others, and perhaps you could leave this with less hatred and pain in your heart, but there is one looming thought beating you senseless, ruining your mind, your heart, your soul.

That if you spend time with Satoru, your feelings will develop beyond whatever insane passion you feel, and you cannot open up to him, you must comparmentalize it, see it as a partnership, so you can both be free. It’s what he wanted, right, to not be with you?

She’s not her.

I’m trying not to hate you.

I should hate you.

You’re just like-

Who was she? It’s a thought that keeps you up for some time, until you finally fade into a restless sleep, one where you dream of Nanami, and his heart broken over you, because you’ve hurt him again. And you’re left alone, on the side of the cobblestone streets, having destroyed everything.

You wake up in a cold sweat, walking over to your little pedestal sink, rinsing your face carefully, looking in the mirror, and you start to wonder, who are you? You’re not that girl you were when you got here, and you can barely remember who she was anymore, so consumed by Satoru Gojo and now Nanami Kento.

You lean over the sink, feeling sick, as your hands touch the mirror of your looking glass, and your head rests upon it. You picture Satoru’s arms around you, picture him fucking you like he said, rough and brutal, perhaps choking you, smacking you, until you can’t walk.

You see it, you feel it, brutal grip and his huge cock, as he’s got those long fingers wrapped around your throat, only to punch the mirror angrily, only serving to hurt your own fist. You shake it, cursing yourself as you hold your hand to you, as you feel the anguish take you over.

Who are you?

Until the next, dear masochistic readers <3

Part Nine

[i-love-ptv]

Linger ୨ ꩜ ୧

Soft!Boyfriend!Rafe Cameron x Fem![Implied]Black!Girlfriend!Reader

Based on the prompt: “Hey…Someone messaged you.” “Oh, who’s it from? My password is (…)”

wc: 993

sugary sweet fluff, but also angst cause we’re talking abt Rafe’s past mostly.

black reader is specified because her being Tiana for Halloween is mentioned! :] (ignore it if you like, I just think it’s cute!

An: Made this to get y’all into the fall spirit ;) Guys I fear Rafe is rlly my #1

Another random prompt from Pinterest cause it’s funnnn

Please please PLEASE send fall/halloween reqs! Check my masterlist if you wanna see the characters I write for!

Feedback is always appreciated cuties xx

He’s watching you from a few feet away, his arms are crossed over her chest, and his elbows are resting on the counter he’s leaning on.

Actually, he’s slouching, his lanky legs are stretched out in your pathway, making you have to step over them whenever you have to move.

The sweet scent of pumpkin and cinnamon from your pumpkin muffins fills the air, it reminds Rafe of what fall used to be like, when his mother was still around.

Most people link pumpkins to fall, simply because of their abundance during the cooler months; and Rafe does too, in a way.

When he was younger, he remembers how his mom would take his little sisters, his father, and him to the pumpkin patch every year.

They would all have their respective wheelbarrows, Rafe would end up putting Wheezie’s tiny pumpkin next to his, since she always laid in her mother’s arms.

His mother would make dozens of pumpkin recipes throughout the months of October and November: pumpkin muffins, she made this pumpkin stew that Rafe enjoyed, pumpkin pie, and the list goes on.

It was like a breath of fresh air for Rafe, his family was all together, and everything was normal.

Oh, how he wishes things were normal now.

At this point in his life, Rafe truly only wants simplicity. And you provided that for him.

Which is why, he can’t help but take account of the similarities that you and his mother share.

You both were extremely kind, sometimes a little too kind; though, this doesn’t mean that the two of you weren’t self-assured and confident.

“Ray?”

Rafe’s eyes widened, he hadn’t noticed that you were talking to him. “Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted to try a little bit of this before I put it in the oven.”

You’re looking at him through your doe eyes, like he hung the stars and the moon, and itmakes the boy’s heart practically melt.

“Don’t health experts advise you to not consume raw batter?” Rafe smirks at you.

You pout at this, swiftly turning back around to put the remaining batter in the last muffin cup.

Rafe chuckles and quickly grabs your waist from behind, his head leaning down to your shoulder while he leaves kisses to your cheek.

“No, no! I’ll try it baby, I was just joking with you!”

You giggle at the feeling of his pillow-soft kisses, and you bring your whisk to his lips.

His tongue peaks out slightly, and when he tastes the batter, he hums in delight.

“I switched things up a bit this time, do you think it’s good?” You ask softly.

“It’s the best.” Rafe murmurs, not wanting to speak loudly over your newly made playlist, which is now flowing through your speaker.

He was such a fool for you.

“Okay, okay, now scooch, I need these done so Wheezie and her friends can take them before they go trick-or-treating.”

“Yes ma’am.

As you’re putting your muffins in the oven, you hear a ‘ding’ resonate from behind you.

Rafe looks next to him, seeing your phone light up; the picture of you two together, faces squished against one another looking back at him.

“Hey…Someone messaged you.”

You respond without looking, focused on your task in front of you. “Oh, who’s it from? My password is your birth month and day.”

Rafe feels like his heart is about to pound out of his chest.

He feels as though he shouldn’t be trusted with this. In fact, Rafe doesn’t even know how to feel as of right now.

He’s been with girls before, ones that would leave their phones face down against any and every surface it rested upon.

He remembers having an argument with an ex years ago, simply because he took a glance at her phone when she got a text.

“Stop being so fucking insecure,” is what she had said to him.

It’s so different, hearing you say what you did.

He’s so used to everything being so toxic, borderline hateful.

But you, you make him feel so different. He can’t seem to put his finger on it at the moment, especially while you’re looking over your shoulder at him so sweetly.”

“Rafe? What does it say honey?” You ask expectantly.

He then fumbles when picking up your phone, your cute phone charm that he bought clacking against your phone case.

You were right, your password was March 24th.

His birthday.

He looks at your notification center and sees a text from his sister Sarah.

Sar-Bear 🫀🎀🌍

‘Does this make me look slutty?

Topper says it does, and idk 😕’ (5:28pm)

[1 Attachment]

Your teeth catch you lip before you respond, “awee, that’s so fucking mean. Tell her I said she looks great, and she’s gonna be the best Lottie.”

That’s right, Rafe remembers you and Sarah decided to have matching costumes this year.

You’re going as Tiana, and she’s going as Lottie from The Princess and The Frog.

You came home that day, nearly bouncing in your spot as you told him the plan you came up with for Halloween.

You had begged Rafe to be a frog, you even found a frog onesie on amazon! But, Rafe insisted on just letting you and Sarah match.

Rafe has already decided that next year, he’ll match with you, cause you’ve got him wrapped around your finger.

—He just hopes you won't have him wear anything silly.

Rafe sends the text and sets your phone down. He feels giddy inside.

He knows it’s something small, something that most don’t look twice at.

But Rafe feels like a child on Christmas morning.

He feels your arms wrap around his front, and you snuggle your face in his chest; but not before leaving a kiss onto his heart.

Rafe finally realizes what this is for him: this is real.

And this is a breath of fresh air.

—-

Do you have to let it linger?

[with-my-calamitous-love]

I APOLOGIZE IF ITS A LITTLE TOO MUCH, JUST A LITTLE TOO SOON

kirishima x reader

thoughts on how kirishima acts in a relationship

inspired by so american

eijiro kirishima, who texts you goodmorning and goodnight religiously. you're the first person he wants to talk to in the morning and the last person he wants to hear from before he drifts off. his face turns almost as red as his hair and eyes whenever his phone lights up with a buzz, seeing that you've replied to him. he saves your contact with a <3 right next to your name. your photo is a picture he snapped of you wearing one of his tank tops, sitting loosely on you. normally his sculptured biceps fill out the fabric to the brim, but he prefers the way you wear it. he wants to stare at you every time he picks up the phone in the morning to text you.

eijiro kirishima, who lets you help him dye his hair after the third time you insist on it. he feels a slight hint of embarrassment, thinking its un-manly to need help with a simple task, but after the first couple of rounds he insists on you doing it. he loves the way your fingers weave delicately through his hair, touching up his roots and treating him like he’s a glass sculpture. and afterwards while he waits for it to set he’ll help you with menial tasks in return- like finishing your algebra (not that he’s any better, but he means well) or making you a quick dinner. he’s an expert when it comes to self-care, and knows that working out and eating well isn’t healthy if its not accompanied by nourishing your happiness. he knows what candy’s to bring to pick up for you while he’s purchasing his dye, what movies to play in the background while he’s letting his hair soak, and exactly how to hug you when it’s all done.

eijiro kirishima, who becomes a sucker for sappy love songs once you get him introduced to it. at first, he hums along to your playlist in the car. then he’s following the artists you like on instagram and keeping up with their recent music. then it’s actively going out of his way to listen to them because each line about love and longing is about you. he makes a playlist titled [y/n] <3 and its all the songs that have made you come up in his head. little do his gym friends know that he’s streaming the tortured poets department while he’s lifting weights DOWN BAD CRYING AT THE GYM ANYONE

eijiro kirishima, who absolutely loves anything you create. muffins, bread, brownies- you’ve suddenly tested his willpower when it comes to his rigid diet. but he can’t help himself- everything tastes better when he knows you’ve put the time and effort into it. with so many eyes watching the young hero, he often forgets to properly feed himself- which is when you come in, always reminding him to eat. when he’s not looking, you’ll slip an extra treat or two in his bag, and come home greeted with a hug and kiss of gratitude for keeping his tummy full.

eijiro kirishima, who comes to you seeking refuge from his insecurities. he has quirk envy badly, sometimes just staring at the heroes he sees around him and wonders how he could ever live up to them. he feels as though he pails in comparison, not knowing how to articulate his worries into words. sometimes he’ll simply hug you, resting his chiseled chin on your shoulder while a huff escapes his lips. he doesn’t need to say anything because you know him. you know how he gets in his head. so you kiss his temples and remind him that he is exactly how he should be. that he’s enough. enough to be strong. enough to be a great hero. enough to be the red riot you love so much. he’s enough for you. and thats what plants are smile on his face as he leans in to kiss you. it’s enough for him too.

eijiro kirishima, who loves showing you off at the gym. mostly to his friends, who comment on how he seemingly never shuts up about you- but a part of him finds pride in the jealous stares others give him. he almost wants to give them a look of ‘i know, right?’ while they admire your beauty, the way you look when sweat ripples down your skin and your cheeks are flushed pink. but he feels sorry for them. sorry that they can’t have you they he’s got you. his eyes sparkle when he sees you pushing yourself, feeling inspired that he now has someone to be so proud of. he’s always proud of you.

eijiro kirishima, who worries he’ll mess it up with you. that it’s all too good to be true- that theres no way he got so lucky so young. he worries you’ll grow bored, tired, or sick of him. he worries you aren’t as in love with him as he is with you. because eijiro kirishima is so, so in love with you. he knows this is love because he sees more than just a high-school fling, he sees the future. he sees someone he will always run to with open arms. and when you kiss him back, arms wrapped around him in a tender embrace, he gets the feeling that you’re so in love with him, too.

[streetlight11]

The Boy Next Door

Summary: Being friends with a regular customer is great. But finding out that their cute friend turns out to live right next door to you? Sounds like fate to me...

Theme: neighbours au, strangers to lovers

Genre: fluffy

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drunk people, clubbing, an elderly falling down but no major injury or death

W/C: 7k

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hihi! I got bored and wrote this with no particular reason. Just saw him on my phone screen one day and felt like writing a fic about him 😅 This wasn't proof read so my apologies if there's any mistakes in my writing. Hope you enjoy! ✨

Today was another day at work as it was a Thursday afternoon. You were just making the coffee orders when your manager said she was going to bank in yesterday’s profits. She would probably take about 2 hours before she comes back so you would be left alone to mend the cafe. She’s done this multiple times because she trusts you and that she knows you are well capable of running the cafe alone.

Although that sounds horrible on your end, you did feel glad that you are indeed able to make all the drinks and foods on your own after working here for almost 4 years. After you had just finished making the order, you pressed the buzzer number. Once the girl had taken her drink and returned the buzzer to you, you went over to the cashier only to see a familiar face.

“Hey… You’re early today?” You asked as Chris smiled at you. Chris is a regular customer here at the cafe you worked at for a few months now and he even became friends with you and your co-worker.

“Hey, yeah. My friends and I wanted to sit somewhere and discuss our next song. Are you alone?”

“Yeah. My manager went to the bank so I’m assuming she won’t be back for quite a while.” You shrugged as he passed you his phone with a whole list of orders. You began to key in the orders while he continued to talk to you.

“Does she do that often? Leave you to mend the cafe alone?"

“Sometimes, yeah.” You sighed.

“But that’s staff abuse, isn’t it?” Chris looked genuinely concerned for you.

“If you think about it, yeah.”

“Aren’t you gonna do anything about it?”

“No? Must I remind you that I need this job?” You chuckled softly and he sighed.

“You can search for other places, Y/N.”

“I know but… I’ve grown to like it here. Minus my manager of course.” You said with a sad frown on your face and he sighed yet again.

“It’s just that… I think you should reconsider changing-” Chris was about to finish his sentence when a guy with dirty blonde hair came over to cut him off.

“Hyung, can I add something to our order?” He asked as you looked back and forth between them.

“Yeah, of course. What do you wanna add?” The guy glances over to you briefly before he whispers into Chris’ ear with his hand covering it and you stifle a laugh. Then, Chris cracks a smile and relays the message to you.

“Can you add one chocolate muffin please?”

“That’ll be an additional $5 charge to the final bill.” You teased, only for the guy to look surprised.

“Just kidding.” You giggled, hearing Chris chuckle while his friend relaxed a little.

“O-Oh…” He whispered quietly to himself.

“He’s cute…” You thought to yourself.

Just then, another guy rushes over to make a change to the order.

“Hi, sorry but can you change the Ice Blended Hazelnut Latte to Iced Mocha? Thank you!” The purple haired guy with adorable cheeks and muscular arms directed his words to you and this made you smile.

“Hi. And sure.” You said, making the change before looking back up to ask, “Any last changes before we proceed to make payment?”

The 3 of them looked at each other before Chris shook his head to you.

“Great.” You smiled at all of them and told Chris the total price. Once he was done paying, you gave the buzzer and receipt to Chris before they went back to their tables. You prepared their drinks while humming to the song on your playlist that was playing through the speakers in the cafe. Meanwhile, Seungmin kept glancing over behind the counter where you were by the espresso machine making the drinks.

Chan noticed this since he was sitting opposite Seungmin so he smiled as he nudged Seungmin’s arm and nodded his head towards you.

“What’s wrong, Seungmo?”

“H-Huh? Nothing, hyung. Was wondering if I should get some pastries to go.” Seungmin made up an excuse as he pretends to listen to the conversation. However, a couple of minutes later, Chan caught him looking over at you again. Suddenly, their buzzer began to buzz indicating that their orders were ready for collection. Changbin was about to stand when Chan stopped him.

“Hey Seungmin? Maybe you should go.” Chan said as the rest began to pick up the situation.

Minho then poked Seungmin’s side to tease him.

“Yeah, go talk to your new crush while you’re at it.” Minho said. Seungmin hissed at him but got up nonetheless. You were just wiping the collection counter when Seungmin came up to you.

“Uh… Here you go. Thanks.” Seungmin said as you smiled at him and took the buzzer from him. The only thing is, there’s two trays for them but only one person to carry. So you decided to offer some help.

“I’ll help you with this tray.” You said as he opened his mouth to say something but you were already leaving the back counter with their second tray. Both of you made your way to the table as Seungmin began to distribute the drinks while Chris helped with the ones on your tray. Once all the drinks and dessert had been placed on the table, you tapped Seungmin’s arm softly to get his attention.

“I can take the tray.” You said and he passed it to you.

“Um, thank you.” Seungmin gave you a small smile which you couldn’t help but return.

“No worries. Enjoy your drinks.” You politely said before you walked off.

The minute Seungmin sits down, Hyunjin and Changbin began to tease him in a good way. Seungmin could only brush them off and occasionally threaten them to shut up and it worked. They stayed at the cafe for about two hours or so, discussing their new song.

You were busy the entire two hours with the cleaning and making orders but it was still manageable.

About 10 minutes ago, your manager came back when there was a queue at the cashier. She didn’t bother to help as she went directly into the back room to do god knows what. You handled the orders as best as you could without her help. Not like she’s ever been much help all these while anyways. Not too long after, your co-workers who were working the evening shift just came and they both quickly put their bags down on top of the fridge and helped to make the drinks before they could even take their aprons.

After all the orders were completed and the last customer had taken her drink, only then did they let out a sigh and talked to you.

“Where’s Manager-nim?” Jimin asked, looking around.

“In the back room. She went to the bank 2 hours ago and she just came back like 15 minutes before you guys arrived?” You explained and they scoffed.

“She’s a nightmare. I don’t understand how she’s even a manager.” Jungkook said with a disgusted face and you laughed.

“Well, while you’re both taking your aprons, you can go say hi to her.” You teased them, only for Jungkook to pinch your side and you squeaked.

Another 30 minutes passed, your shift had just ended. Your manager had already left work unusually early, not like you guys cared anyway. You went to the back to change out of your uniform and wore the clothes you did when you came to work this morning. After you’ve kept your uniform in your bag, you leave the back room to say bye to your colleagues. Jimin was making his iced tea while Jungkook was just leaning against the counter and talking to Jimin.

You walked over to steal a bite of Jungkook’s apple pie and he scoffed at you.

“Excuse me, Missy? Go get your own pie.” Jungkook said with a growing smile on his face.

“Nah. I love stealing yours.” He laughed as Jimin poured the tea into the cup filled with ice cubes.

“You’re working tomorrow right?” Jimin asked.

“Yeah, morning shift again.”

“Are you doing anything at night?”

“Hmm, I don’t have any plans if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Jungkook and I are planning to go to the club tomorrow night. Wanna come?”

“Why should I? You’re both just gonna get drunk and go hook up with someone halfway through, leaving me all alone.”

“Nah. I don’t do hookups anymore. I’ve changed.” Jungkook says proudly but you could only giggle.

“Yeah right.” You said as Jungkook rolled his eyes jokingly to you.

“Fine. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.” You said before turning to leave, not forgetting to wave goodbye to them. As you were leaving the back counter, Chris and his friends were leaving the cafe as well.

“Oh Y/N. You’re leaving too?” Chris asked.

“Yeap.” You smiled at him, only for your eyes to naturally glide over to the blonde guy from earlier who was just behind Chris.

“So I’m guessing you’re heading home right now?” Chris asked, making you nod.

“Yeah. Gotta feed my parrot.”

“You have a parrot?” Seungmin asks curiously and you nod.

“Mhm! I’ve had him for 3 years now.”

“Oh, that’s nice. What’s the breed?”

“He’s an Indian Ringneck parrot.” You said as you showed them your phone wallpaper which was a picture of your parrot.

“Oh, he’s so cute!” Chris squeaked.

“Does he have a name?” Seungmin asked.

“His name is Zico! You guys should meet him one day.” You naturally blurt out this suggestion which kind of surprises him a little. Chris, not so much since he’s known you a little longer than Seungmin did.

“That would be nice. Maybe one day.” Chris smiled at you. Just then, you turned to Seungmin who had a soft smile on his face.

“I’d love to meet your parrot some day.” He said softly which made you smile. You then bid them goodbye since you would be parting ways now. You didn’t forget to say goodbye directly to Seungmin before you left and this woke the butterflies in his stomach.

The following day after work, you went home and suddenly remembered the proposal Jimin had offered you yesterday. It would be nice to just relax and cuddle up on your sofa alone at home, watching your favourite movies. However, going out to spend the night with two of your close buddies from work also sounds nice. Therefore, you decided to go ahead with the plan. You told them you’ll meet them there and so they got excited. You picked out your outfit which was a simple black sleeveless dress with strings to hold the back material together.

You paired it with a simple 3 inch heel so your feet don't hurt. When you made it to the club, you struggled to find your friends at first. But when you did, you caught them chilling at the bar. So you slinged your arms over the outer shoulders so that you would be in between them.

“Hi, handsome. Ready to party?” You asked and they smirked. Jungkook openly checks you out as he winked at you playfully.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Jimin said and you cheered. For the next 40 minutes, you drank a whole glass of Daiquiri and were now dancing on the dancefloor with them both. Jimin was standing in front of you while Jungkook was behind you.

They were your human shields from other drunk people who prey on drunk girls in the club. You held both Jimin’s hands as you danced with him to the song. Meanwhile, Jungkook was just moving to the beat behind you when suddenly, the song changed into a romantic but slightly slower beat. Jimin let go of your hands while he slowly got immersed in the song. You were just closing your eyes, allowing your body to move with the rhythm of the song when you felt a pair of hands sliding onto your waist and over your stomach.

You glance down to see Jungkook’s full right sleeve tattooed arm wrapping around your body while he pulls you into a back hug. He pressed his cheek against the side of your head only to say something in your ear.

“Whoever you date next, will be the luckiest guy on this earth.” You smiled as you pulled away only to find him smiling at you. He danced with you for a bit before the song changed again. After another hour or so, all 3 of you decided to go home and call it a night. Jungkook made sure to send you back home to your doorstep which you appreciated so much.

He unlocked your apartment door for you and brought you inside, removing your heels by the door and led you to your bedroom. Jungkook made sure to tuck you in before he wished you goodnight softly and made his way out of your apartment. He had just locked your front door just before he slammed your door shut and twisted the knob to make sure it was really locked when he turned around to find a guy walking past him. The guy flashed him a small smile and Jungkook did the same. Jungkook strolls slowly back to the lift lobby, stumbling a bit in his walk but was quick to recover.

Seungmin watched him walk to the lift lobby as he then glanced over at your door, not knowing that you lived there. Nevertheless, Seungmin enters his apartment which is right next to yours.

A week had passed and it was a Sunday afternoon. You were going to run some errands so you prepared to leave. You had just opened your door to leave when Chris shocked you.

“Y/N?! You live here?” Chris asked.

“Apparently…” You laughed as the rest of his friends were behind him only to walk around him while exchanging their hellos with you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as you locked your door.

“We were going to just hang out at Seungmin’s place today.” Upon hearing that name, you turned around confused.

“Seungmin?”

As soon as you said his name, the door next to you opened and Seungmin peeked his head out from the doorway. He was surprised to see you but still greeted you nonetheless.

“Y-You… Hi?”

“Uh, hey!” You said with a smile on your face.

“She lives here, Seungmo. Didn’t you know?” Chris asked, only for him to shake his head.

“We’ve never bumped into each other before, hyung.”

“Really?! That’s so weird.” Chris said but then Felix joins in.

“Well, it seems like it’s fate.” Felix giggled as he rushed into his friend’s apartment while Seungmin was left standing there awkwardly blushing. You couldn’t help but giggle at how cute he looked.

“Since you guys live right next to each other, you guys can hang out more often.” Chris wiggles his eyebrows at you and Seungmin cheekily.

“Yeah. That would be nice.” You said while Seungmin glared at his friend.

“Okay then. I shall leave you guys to it. See you around Seungmin… And I’ll see you at the cafe, Chris.” You laughed as he did the same but nodded to your words. They briefly watched you leave before Seungmin grabbed Chan by his arm and forced him into his apartment.

“What are you doing, hyung?! Are you crazy?” Seungmin grumbles while Chan removes his shoes to join the others in the living room.

“Relax Seungmin, I’m doing you a favour.”

“What favour is there to do if she already has a boyfriend?” Seungmin asked and the rest of them went silent.

“Boyfriend? What are you talking about?” Chan asked, slightly confused. Seungmin sighed, feeling a little hesitant to tell them but he did anyway.

“Last weekend, when I was about to reach my apartment, I caught that guy who works with her leaving her apartment. He looked a little tipsy when he left too.” Seungmin sighed as he plops down next to Jeongin.

“Which guy?” Chan asks since he knows a lot about you at this point.

“He’s the one with the full sleeve tattoo on his right arm.” Immediately, Chan lets out a relieved sigh.

“Oh, Jungkookie… They’re just friends. He’s quite touchy with almost everyone he’s close with. But Y/N once told me that Jungkook and her are just very close friends, nothing more. So don’t worry. He’s not her boyfriend. You’re still safe to continue.” Chan encouraged Seungmin while the others did the same as well.

“W-What if you’re wrong? What if they decided to date each other now? What if she’s not telling you the truth? What if-” Seungmin was about to go on about his questions when Hyunjin stopped him.

“Kim Seungmin… Just ask her out. You can’t just assume things without getting a proper answer. Ask her out and see what she says. If she rejects you then maybe she is dating someone. If she accepts then hey? That’s one step closer for you.”

“Yeah, Seungmin ah. Just go for it. You wouldn’t know if you haven’t tried.” Jisung said as Seungmin let out a soft sigh, knowing his friends were right. He was afraid of getting rejected but at least he’ll get his answer on whether you’re single or unavailable. Then from there he could decide whether to go on or not.

A couple of days later, you were working as usual when you saw Seungmin enter the cafe alone. You didn’t expect to see him here because normally, it would be Chris who walks into the cafe at this hour. Nonetheless, when he meets your eyes, you flash him a warm smile.

“Hi.” You greeted softly and he grins at you adorably.

“H-Hi.”

“What can I get for you today?” You asked as he glanced over at the fridge to point at one of the cakes before looking back at you.

“I’ll have a cheesecake and one iced vanilla latte to go, please? Thank you.” Seungmin said and you keyed in his order.

“Anything else?”

He shook his head and you proceeded with the payment. After he had paid for his order, you gave him the receipt and he went over to wait by the collection counter. While you were preparing his order, Seungmin couldn’t hide his nervousness so he texted Chan.

Seungmin [sent at 2:13 pm]: I can’t do it

Chanie Hyung [read at 2:13 pm]: What?!

Chanie Hyung [read at 2:13 pm]: Don’t you dare back out now, Kim Seungmin >:(

Seungmin [sent at 2:14 pm]: What if she says no?

Chanie Hyung [read at 2:14 pm]: You haven’t even tried asking, how would you know she’ll say no?

Seungmin [sent at 2:15 pm]: Shit, she’s almost done. Hyung I can’t do it…

Chanie Hyung [read at 2:16 pm]: Seungmo, you’re gonna regret not asking her out afterwards… Trust me. There’s no harm in asking…

As Seungmin tries to process Chan’s last message, you gently call his name to get his attention. You slide the bag which has his drink and the cake in a small box towards him with a smile.

“Thanks for coming. Have a good weekend.” You said to him.

Seungmin simply flashed you a small shy smile before he thanked you and took the bag from you. Seungmin was about to open his mouth but then he saw Jungkook leaving the back room while tying his apron string around his back. With that being said, Seungmin left without a second thought and this somehow disappoints you a little. After he left in a rush, Jungkook pokes your side and questions.

“Who was that? Your friend?” Jungkook asked casually as he removed the portafilter from the coffee machine and gently slammed it upside down by the handle to remove the used ground coffee into the bin.

“He’s Chris’ friend actually and apparently my neighbour too.” You chuckled while he wiped the filter with a towel to clean the leftover coffee grounds.

“Oh right. He lives right next to you. I think I bumped into him that night when I sent you home after we went to the club with Jimin hyung.”

“You did?” Your voice was soft now as he nodded.

“He probably thinks I’m your boyfriend or date.”

“Well, if you saw a random guy leaving your crush’s place and is slightly tipsy, you would assume they at least hooked up.”

“Fair point. But hey, I can tell him we aren’t a thing if he ever swings by again. He probably has a crush on you.” Jungkook teased with a cheeky smirk on his face. You could say something but you didn’t wanna sound like a fool so you opted to continue with your work. You were currently seated on the floor in front of the bottom fridge, keeping the new stock of milk cartons when Jungkook’s voice catches your attention.

“Hey Cinderella, someone’s looking for you.” Jungkook said from the coffee machine with a smirk and this terrifies you. So you closed the fridge and stood up, only to be met with Seungmin.

“Hey? Did I make a mistake with your order?” You asked, only for him to shake his head.

“A-Actually, no. I um… I came back cause I wanted to… Well, I was wondering if you were free later tonight. I-It’s okay if you’re not. You don’t have to say yes.” Seungmin stuttered and from his shaky voice, you could tell he was nervous. But his simple courage to even come back and ask you this was really admirable.

“Yeah. I’m free tonight. I end at 5.” You said and he seemed shocked.

“Oh.” He paused as if to process your answer.

“Uh… Great? I’ll knock on your door at 8?” He continued from where he left off.

“Sure.” You smiled.

Finally, his lips curled up into a smile that leaves your heart fluttering.

“Alright then… See you later.” He said as you bid him goodbye. After he left, Jungkook squeaked whilst turning off the steaming wand.

“Finally! You scored a date!” Jungkook said happily as you laughed.

“Shut up, silly.” You said before going back to what you were doing previously.

Hours later, you were getting nervous for your date. You tried to pull up a nice outfit to wear instead of your usual jeans and hoodie. It took you almost an hour to decide on what to wear. In which you finally chose a black denim mid thigh skirt, a white long sleeve fitting top and a pair of white sneakers to finish off your look. This wasn’t your usual outfit so you think it was somewhat decent. When the clock strikes 8 o’clock, your door receives a few knocks and this triggers your nervous heart. Nevertheless, you went to the door and opened it, only to find Seungmin standing there looking twice as handsome as he normally does.

He wore a black shirt, a varsity jacket, a pair of jeans and a pair of sneakers. His hair was blonde and long enough to fall past his eyes. The minute you opened the door, Seungmin couldn’t help but give you one quick glance from head to toe before meeting your eyes again shyly.

“Hi… Y-You look really nice.” He said, making you blush.

“Thanks. I could say the same for you too.” You said and this time, it was his turn to blush.

“Shall we go?”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Seungmin said and this sparked your curiosity. You locked your door and soon left with him. He brought you to his car as he drove off without telling you the destination. In the car, you bonded with him and got to know more about each other. Everything was going smoothly so far and you were so happy. He brought you to a Korean BBQ restaurant and you were excited for the beef.

Dinner went well as you found yourself being comfortable around him. He was very gentle and calm around you, making you relax and not have to pretend to like being with him. After dinner, he drove you to a lookout point where you both sat on the hood of his car, admiring the stars in the night sky while you talked to him more. Though you never really opened up to him completely about your private life, he never forced it out of you also.

Simply out of respect since you two were only just starting to get to know each other anyway. About an hour or so, both of you decided to call it a night. When you made it outside your door, he made sure to thank you for tonight.

“Thank you for agreeing to hang out with me tonight. I really enjoyed it.” He says.

“No worries. I really like it too… And I don’t mind doing this again.” You gave him the hint which thankfully, he caught.

“Really?” He asked and so you nod.

“Then in that case… Do you have any plans next Saturday?” You asked.

“Hmm, that depends… Do you wanna schedule a plan for us next week?”

“I’d love to.”

“Great. I’ll see you next week then. Does 2pm sound good to you?” He asked.

“Absolutely.”

“Alright then. I’ll see you next week at 2pm. Goodnight Y/N.” He smiles.

“Goodnight Seungmin.” You smiled, turning to unlock your door and enter your apartment. He internally cheers for himself before heading into his apartment. He made sure to update his friends about his date and also the upcoming one. Only for his friends to freak out and encourage him to keep pushing forward.

For the next few weeks, you’ve been on a couple of dates with Seungmin but neither one of you have actually gone past the simple hand holding and slight cuddles. No one has been brave enough to kiss the other. The feelings were mutual and they were there. However, kissing the other person was just too nerve wracking to think about, let alone do it. Today was going to be your 8th date with Seungmin and you planned to somehow kiss him. Maybe just a peck at least. You had planned it all in your head, playing out the scenario to see if it would turn out okay or weird.

It’s been about 2 hours into your date where you were just chilling on his sofa when you received a phone call from your mum. So you picked it up instantly without a doubt.

“Hi mum!” You said cheerily into the call but all you heard was your mum’s frantic voice.

“Y/N. Come home quick. Grandma just fell in the toilet and we’re heading to the hospital now. She’s not in good shape…”

“What? O-Okay! I’ll come now.” You said as you had a tear roll down your cheek and he saw.

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Seungmin asked and you quickly got up to leave but he stopped you.

“Hey? Is everything okay?” Seungmin asked as he gently held your wrist and caressed it with his thumb.

“Y-Yeah. I’m so sorry but we have to postpone the date. I’m really sorry, Seungmin.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You don’t have to apologise. But, you sound like you’re heading somewhere. Do you need a ride?”

“I-I… I can get an uber. I don’t wanna trouble you.”

“No, please. I insist.” He said kindly and you were hesitant.

“But it’s a 2 hour drive from here…” You said and he smiled.

“At least you won’t be alone on your way there.” Seungmin said and your heart instantly melts for him.

“A-Are you sure?” You asked just to double confirm since you weren’t forcing him to take you to your destination.

“Absolutely. Come on. Go grab whatever you need and we’ll head out.” Seungmin says and you couldn’t help but lunge yourself onto him. You wrapped your arms around his waist as you buried your head in his chest.

“Thank you so much…” You whispered and he heard you. So he gently wrapped his arms around your shoulders to hold you for a bit before letting you go.

“Don’t mention it.” Seungmin smiles down at you as you both leave his apartment.

You went back to yours to quickly grab your belongings and soon left after locking your apartment door. Half an hour into the drive, neither of you were talking while the music played softly in the background. You have been texting your mum for the past few minutes to get an update on your grandma. Which he gave you the privacy to do so. When suddenly, you spoke up and Seungmin glanced at you briefly before he focused his eyes back on the road.

“My grandma fell down earlier and my parents are rushing her to the hospital…” Your voice was soft.

“I’m so sorry… Did they make it to the hospital?”

“Yeah. She’s in the A&E now, with the doctors.” You stared at your phone, unable to hide your emotions. Seungmin gently reaches over to scoop one of your hands. He tangles his fingers with yours while he rubs soft circles into the back of your hand with his thumbs.

“She’ll be okay.” Seungmin said, looking at you briefly only to catch a growing small smile on your face despite the tears in your eyes.

“I hope so.” You whispered and he turned back to the road. Through the entire drive, you held his hand in yours on your lap for comfort. The drive was surprisingly faster than you thought but thankful to have made it to the hospital safely. You rushed into the building after texting your mum for updates. When you make it to the ward, Seungmin trails behind you as you open the isolation ward door to find your parents on either side of the bed while your grandma lays there with a hip brace.

“Grandma!” You called as you rushed over to them. You cried upon seeing her there with a weak smile on her face.

“Hi my dear. How are you?” She asked.

“Why are you asking me? I should be the one asking you that question.” You said sadly and she chuckled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine, sweetheart.” She says, making you sigh. Just then, your dad spoke up to acknowledge Seungmin as he came to stand next to your dad after bowing to him politely.

“Oh, hello son. You are?” You dad asked.

“Hi Sir. Um, I’m Seungmin. Y/N’s friend.”

“We were hanging out when mum called and he kindly offered to drive me here.” You explained to your parents only for them to feel thankful.

“Really? Oh how nice of you, dear. So sorry to trouble you to come all the way here.” Your mum said.

“It’s fine, Ma’am. I saw how shaken up she got after she received the call so I didn’t feel good to leave her on her own.” Seungmin said.

“Thank you for being here for my daughter.” Your dad said and Seungmin smiled.

The four of you spent the next hour there before your parents told you to head home. You frowned as you said you wanted to stay over back at your old home with them so you could come and visit your grandma for the next few days.

“What about Seungmin?” Your mum asked as you both turned to look at your dad talking to Seungmin by the door, a few metres away from you and your mum.

Seungmin did send you all the way here on a 2 hour drive because he didn’t want to let you be alone. So wouldn’t it be selfish if you told him to drive back home for 2 hours on his own now?

“Will you and dad be okay if he stayed with us for a couple days more before we head back?” You asked and she smiled.

“Of course sweetie. Besides, it wouldn’t be nice if you sent him home now after all that he’s done for you.”

“I know… Okay, I'll go and ask him.” You said as you got up and made your way over to him and your dad.

“Hey dad? I was thinking of staying with you and mum for a couple of days so I could come here and visit grandma.”

“Of course you can sweetie.” Your dad said before you glanced at Seungmin and then back at your dad.

“And I was wondering if you’ll be okay with Seungmin staying with us too before we head back together?”

Seungmin’s jaw drops slightly while your dad smiles, “Definitely.”

“B-But I-” Seungmin didn't finish his sentence when you cut him off.

“You offered to drive me here for 2 hours just so I wouldn’t be alone. I can’t just tell you to drive back home for another 2 hours on your own now. That’s unfair.” You smiled at him.

Meanwhile, your dad was just silently watching from the side with a fond smile on his face. Seungmin was shy but he knew you had a valid point. So he decided to agree with your offer. With that being said, you stayed for a little while more before all 4 of you made your way back to your old home. Your mum prepared the guest room quickly before she showed him to the room on the ground level next to the laundry room. Seungmin thanked your mum as he went inside to make himself comfortable.

In the meantime, you went through your closet to try and dig out whatever mens clothing that you bought for yourself to lend to him during his stay here. You came back down to find him sitting on the bed just staring at the window. So you knocked on the door softly to not startle him.

“Hey… You okay?” You asked and he smiled.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Seungmin said before you walked in to pass him the clothes. He carefully took them from you and placed it next to him. You sat down beside him as you softly spoke up.

“You don’t have to stay if you have important things to do back home like work. I just felt bad if I told you to go back now after you’ve driven me all the way here.”

“It’s okay. I can just call in sick. They’ll understand.”

“Are you sure? I really don’t want to hold you back.”

“Don’t worry. I want to stay.” Seungmin said, awakening the butterflies in your stomach.

“Okay…” You whispered to him.

He glanced down at your lips briefly and you caught him. Seungmin then looked back into your eyes and gave you a gentle smile.

“You should get some rest.” He said, making you nod.

With that being said, you wished him goodnight and was on your way back to your room upstairs. A few hours went by and you couldn’t really sleep. You had a lot on your mind, especially thinking about your grandma. You sighed as you turned to the clock on your bedside table to see that it was half past midnight. You wondered if Seungmin was already asleep but you didn’t want to text him. So you got out of bed and tip-toed your way down the stairs. You carefully walked over to the guest room to see the door closed.

You hesitate at first, knowing you shouldn’t disturb him. But at that moment, you were yearning for his comfort so you decided to try your luck. You went up to his door and gave it two very soft knocks. You told yourself to wait for 3 seconds and if you got no reply, then you should just head back upstairs. However, before you could count to 2, the door swung open slightly and he looked wide awake.

“Y/N? Why aren’t you asleep yet?” He asked gently to which you bashfully smiled at him.

“U-Uh, I can’t sleep… Was I disturbing you? I’m so sorry.” You said but he shook his head and pulled the door open wider.

“No, you weren’t actually. Do you wanna come inside?” He asked and so you nodded. You walked towards his bed while he closed the door quietly before joining you.

“What were you doing before I came?” You asked.

“I was actually about to text you to ask if you had any spare charger that I could borrow.”

“Oh. I do. Let me go get it. It’s in the living room.” You said and he patiently waits for you. 2 minutes later, you came back with a charger in your hand and plugged it to the socket next to his bed.

“Thanks.” He says before plugging his phone in. You were about to leave, thinking you'd already disturbed him enough when he spoke up.

“I know you have trouble sleeping but do you maybe wanna lay down and at least try to fall asleep?” He asked.

“But, what if I end up falling asleep here?"

“I can just sleep here too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah? Why not?”

“Okay.” You whispered softly as he pulled the cover back so that he could climb in and you followed after. Once you were both snuggled in the guest bed, he turned to you with a gentle look on his face.

“Come here.” Seungmin said and so you took this chance to scoot over. You snuggled into his side, resting your head on his chest while he held you close. Seungmin’s lips brushed over your forehead and you could feel it. He caressed your wrist with his thumb that was resting on top of his chest. The room fell silent for a good minute or so. With him just softly running his fingers through your hair to smoothen the tangles out. Your eyelids finally began to droop down . Suddenly, Seungmin began to sing sweetly above you. His voice was sultry and smooth.

If he was a supernatural being, he could be a siren.

This works like a charm and you slowly begin to drift off to sleep. The next morning, you woke up to the feeling of someone hugging you from behind. You let out a soft sound from trying to stretch, only to hear him whine behind you.

“What time is it?” His raspy morning voice says from behind you.

You grabbed your phone to check the time and it was just a quarter to 8 in the morning, “It’s 7:45 am.”

“Mmm, more sleep then.” Seungmin hums as he nuzzles his face deeper into your neck while hugging you tightly. You fell asleep for another hour or two before you got woken up by your mother’s voice at the door.

“Kids, I’ve made breakfast.”

Seungmin groans softly before he responds to your mum, “Okay. Thank you.”

A few seconds later, you jolted up when it finally hit you.

“Shit… She knows I’m here.” You panicked, only for him to look at you and finally caught on.

“Oh…”

With that being said, you quickly got out of bed and left his room in hopes you don’t bump into your parents. However, when you were about to dash past the kitchen to head to the staircase, your mother caught you just in time.

“Oh good, you’re up. Where’s Seungmin?” She asks with a smile on her face while she pours fresh orange juice into the glasses.

“U-Uh… He’s awake, I think?” You replied and she simply laughed.

So you excused yourself to head back upstairs and wash up. You ended up spending another two more days there to visit your grandma before deciding to head back. While you were saying goodbye to your parents on the front porch, your mum said, “Seungmin is a sweet boy. It’s still not too late, you know?”

You knew what she was saying so all you did was smile at her. After you left, you never spoke about it throughout the drive. Instead, you talked about other things so that he does not get suspicious. When you finally arrived outside at your apartment unit, you turned to say thanks to him.

“Thank you again for everything.”

“You’re welcome.” Seungmin smiled as you were running out of words to say purely out of nerves. Just then, you wanted to cut the awkwardness so you excused yourself.

“Yeah, I’ll just head back inside. Thanks Seungmin.” You quickly said before rushing in.

You let out a heavy breath while leaning against your door. You wanted to get up and move on with your day but a huge part of you was screaming at you for leaving him out there.

Maybe he already went back into his apartment.

Maybe he went back downstairs to go for a drive.

Maybe he left because you abruptly left.

However, all your assumptions were false because when you decided to open the door and find him, you were surprised to find him standing outside your door with a sad frown on his face.

“Y/N?” He whispered your name.

With that being said, you threw yourself forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him in for a passionate kiss. You used both hands to gently hold his face while his hands slid around your lower back. When you pulled away to breath, he looked at you with a growing smile on his face.

“T-That um… Wow t-that was really nice.” Seungmin said softly and you blushed. He gently tugs you back in to kiss you again. You felt him smile against your lips, squeezing your waist softly. This time when he pulled away, he guided you back into your apartment as you giggled.

“I like you, Y/N.” He confessed to which you pushed your front door closed and smiled.

“Good… Because I like you too.”

Once you confessed your feelings, Seungmin kissed you again, more passionately as that would be the start of your relationship.

[luvjunie]

— headcanons. what life is like for miles!42

a/n: i honestly didn’t mean for these to get so angsty oopsies!! i kept adding on so they’re also very lengthy wc: 1,751

contains: mentions of grief

Everyone thinks he’s rude and impossible to approach—but that’s a common misconception. In reality, he’s actually quite shy and simply prefers to keep to himself. His quiet nature often causes him to come off ill-mannered, which is completely unintentional on his end and partially the fault of those who assume what he’s like instead of actually getting to know him.

He used to be open to making friends and spending time with peers, but after everyone found out his dad died— which was impossible to prevent considering the man who used to drive him to school now had a giant mural made in his honor— he began receiving a ridiculous amount of pitied stares in the halls, began hearing hushed whispers about how hard things must be for him at home now. And even though they were, he hated that he was being treated differently by those he once kept close to him, like a charity case. As if he were fragile and would break— like he often did when he was alone.

His old friends were supposed to be his distraction, something to take his mind off how he now had to grow up faster than he’d liked. Something to remind him that his trauma hadn’t aged him as much as he feared; that he truly was still a kid at heart. But instead, they served as a constant reminder of the worst thing he’d ever had to live through— skated around him like he’d blow up the second they said the wrong thing; responded with heartfelt condolences instead of laughing with him whenever he’d tell a funny story about his dad. So eventually, he drifted away from them and began keeping to himself all together.

Don’t put him in a box because of his prowler side hustle, this boy is smart as hell!! Especially with one parent now being gone and his mom struggling to pay the bills? He takes his academics very seriously, he has no choice. He has to get it out the mud somehow and he doesn’t have the privilege of skipping classes as much as 1610-miles does. He’s working two years above his grade level in AP Calculus and AP physics, and has been accused of cheating on his tests a couple times due to how fast he completes them, as well as the fact that he has never once asked a question from the seat he chose in the back of the room.

It’s not something anyone would expect, but he enjoys baking a lot and he’s damn good at it too. When he was younger, he’d spent one summer with his Mamá Lena (Rio’s mother), who had him in the kitchen helping her cook and bake almost everyday and it just stuck. It’s a secret talent of his that never really comes up in conversation, and that you wouldn’t know about unless you’ve seen him doing it. His banana bread muffins using a recipe he took months to perfect taste like the gods themselves made them, and he’ll slip one into his mom’s work lunch whenever he makes them because he knows they’re her favorite.

He’s a lover boy at heart, if you were to look into his playlist, the songs you’d find in there probably wouldn’t be what you’d expect. Listens to bobby bland, which was heavily influenced by his uncle, old school rap, and he really likes love songs from the 90s because they make him feel calm, and allow him to imagine what his life would be like if he could have something like what they’re singing about. He’s terrified he’ll never be able to experience that due to his inability to open up to others. And often, he doesn’t even try to express the emotions that are tough to swallow, a firm believer in the saying that ‘once you’re down, it’s hard to get back up.’

Keeps his room pretty clean. It’s probably the one and only thing he has control over in his life, a constant for him. His room is his safe-haven so he treats it as such. It’s basically the same as 1610’s, just with a more matured look, a lot less color and less expression. He unfortunately lost that spark for a lot of his interests, so you won’t see more than a small punching bag, some boxing gloves hanging from the doorknob and few stragglers in the form of posters he didn’t feel like taking down.

He doesn’t like to argue, at all. He hates fighting with anyone he loves and he’s very quick to forgive them or squash the disagreement all together now that his dad is no longer here. When Jeff died, they were still on rocky terms from their previous dispute and even while years have passed, Miles still has yet to forgive himself for that. So now, he usually lets bygones be bygones, and never lets a conversation end on a bad note.

Continued growing his hair out once he realized it was a way for him to bond and spend more time with his mom. Within the little availability they do have, between her working doubles at the hospital, him being pulled in every direction now that he’s the ‘man of the house’—uncle Aaron’s words— and having to do things he’s not proud of to assist her while still going to school during the day, they make the time. Miles only gets it braided by her, and he enjoys the talks they have when he’s sat on the floor between her legs with his back to her. And when she’s done, regardless of how ridiculously embarrassing it is, and how he’s now over a head taller than her, he always lets her pinch his cheeks and call him her ‘handsome little man’. He hasn’t looked at a pair of hair shears since.

On that note, he is very, very defensive when it comes to his mother. Miles is not the kind to go around beating people up just for kicks; mostly because he’s not that kind of person, but also because even if he wanted to— he can’t.

In preparation for stepping into the prowler role Uncle Aaron put Miles into boxing/m.m.a classes when he turned fourteen, and he took to the skill very quickly. So well, in fact, that his hands can now technically be considered deadly weapons in the eye of the law due to his extensive training— which means he could get slapped with a ridiculous assault charge that would have him doing some time in a juvenile correction facility over a simple fist fight. (if he’s not masked as the prowler obviously).

But, some kid in his history class thought it’d be funny to make a slick comment about how Mrs. Morales was ‘single’ and ‘up for grabs’ now that his dad had passed, and the situation ended with Miles suspended for a week after he’d basically thrown his desk over to get to the kid, his knuckles bruised, and a tirade of complaints from the boy’s mother about his now-rearranged nose. However, after hearing the disgusting comment he had made about Miles’ mom, she was kind enough to not press charges and forced her son to apologize to the both of them.

That woman is his saving grace, literally. She stepped up in ways he didn’t even know were possible after his dad died, barely taking time for herself to grieve because she wanted to make sure her little boy didn’t fall apart. He doesn’t let anyone disrespect her and that’s always made known by him. He’s a mama’s boy.

They kind of have a titfortat thing going on, him and his mom. Like how she always stops in to ask him how his day was, if school is going well or if he needs anything, even if the time isn’t ideal and she’s talking to a sleepy Miles at 1am in the morning who can barely keep his eyes open. Or how his uniform is always freshly ironed and laid out for him in the morning, regardless of how exhausted she is and how badly she wants to crawl into bed after her shift. Or how when he’s sick, she’ll drive all the way across town to one of the only fresh markets that sells yuca root and white yautia so she can make him sancocho (a traditional puerto rican dish). It’s the one thing she knows always makes him feel better.

And Miles does nice things for her, too. Like draping a blanket over her sleeping form when she dozes off on the couch in front of the TV. Or making sure her phone is plugged in, so her alarm goes off in the morning, because sometimes she knocks out before she can bring herself to do it. He even goes as far as to secretly slip some extra cash he’s made from a recent job into the ‘RENT’ jar she keeps on her dresser— dropping a hundred in every now and then when she’s not there to see him do it. She’s never once asked him for help, but the one time he took it upon himself to offer it, he was shot down in seconds, and was made to promise her that he wouldn’t worry about it ever again. Her exact words being “You’re too young to worry about something like this mijo, okay? You take all the money you make from your after school job, every single penny, and you save it. Mama’s got this.”

But sometimes, she doesn’t. And Miles knows that she wants to be strong for him. For them. But it takes two, he knows that as well, so he helps out anyway.

And with prayers that they’re not short— Rio counts everything in the rent jar towards the end of the month, and a string of celebratory whoops and hollers will always sound from her room when she realizes they surprisingly have some extra cash that’ll allow her to take some days off and relax for once, and maybe even do something fun together. He’ll listen from his room with a knowing smile, more than happy to let his contributions remain undisclosed to affirm her efforts of providing for them the best she can. With her energy so depleted from how demanding her job is, she’s never suspected it was him discreetly assisting, and chalked it up to her forgetting how much she’d mindlessly dropped in there after each paycheck.

[girlkisser13]

dating conrad fisher would include

• conrad is the kind of boyfriend who cherishes the quiet moments. he loves sitting with you on the beach in silence, just enjoying the sound of the waves and the comfort of your presence.

• while conrad struggles with his own emotions, he’s incredibly supportive when it comes to yours. he might not always know what to say, but he’s there to listen, hold you, and make sure you know you’re not alone.

• conrad quite evidently has trouble verbally expressing his emotions, so he does everything he can to show you just how much he loves you.

• he remembers the little things about you, like making sure to get your favorite type of muffins when he goes on his morning muffin runs.

• conrad isn’t overly flashy, but he’s thoughtful. you often find little notes in your books or your favorite snacks in your bag, left by him without a word. he knows what you love and makes sure to show it in small, meaningful ways.

• he's always touching you in some way, whether it’s resting a hand on your thigh while you sit together or holding your hand the moment you leave the house. he insists it’s so you don’t get lost in the crowd, but really, he just enjoys having you close to him.

• conrad is an avid reader, so he loves sharing books with you. he'll lend you his favorite novels, and it becomes a way for the two of you to connect on a deeper level.

• the two of you constantly exchange your favorite books and he enjoys getting to read the little notes that you make in the margins. it’s like a little window into your inner thoughts. he loves it.

• you definitely have an elaborate dance to a specific song that the both of you have learned and would do whenever you heard the song.

• susannah would purposely put the song on and beg the two of you to do the dance because she can’t get enough of the way he smiles as he spins you around.

• HIM LEARNING TO PLAY YOUR FAVORITE SONG ON THE GUITAR>>>

• he likes to listen to your favorite artist when he misses you because it reminds him of you, and that brings him comfort.

• conrad likes to create personalized playlists just for you. each song is carefully chosen to reflect your relationship. it's his way of expressing his feelings when words fall short.

• being by the ocean is conrad’s comfort zone, so many of your dates happen at the beach. whether it’s early morning walks, sunset picnics, or late-night swims, the beach is your special place together.

• he also loves going on late-night drives with you. with no destination in mind, you both just drive around, listening to music, talking, or enjoying the peaceful silence of the night.

• conrad isn’t overly expressive with his affection in public, but in private, he’s incredibly gentle and loving. soft kisses on your forehead, his arm casually draped over your shoulders, and holding your hand as you fall asleep are some of his favorite ways to show he cares.

• sometimes, the two of you don’t need to say anything to understand each other. you can read his mood by the way he looks at you, the way his voice sounds, and even his body language.

• there’s an unspoken connection between you two— a look, a touch, or simply being in each other’s presence is enough to communicate everything you need to know.

• conrad likes starting the day with a coffee run, and it becomes a small tradition for the two of you. whether it’s picking up coffee and pastries from a local shop or brewing it at home, it’s a simple way to start the day together.

• he’s a sucker for those quiet moments in the morning when no one’s up yet and it’s just the two of you. <33

[harmonicakai]

Be Around Me

Part 1 of the "Love is Embarrassing" series

Pairing: Gyuvin x Reader, Ricky x Reader (one-sided), Haobin crumbs, Jiwoong x Reader teeny tiny crumbs 

Summary: Gyuvin is the type of guy to get flustered over everything, but little does he know that you secretly think it makes him even cuter.

Tropes: basketball star!gyuvin, journalist!reader, college AU, basketball!zb1, frat!zb1, secret admirer, fluff, slow burn, crack, unrequited love, mutual pining, gyuvin is a LOSER

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Ricky is annoying lol, mentions of masturbation and sex (mdni!!!)

A/N: y’all will have pry zb1 college basketball au from my cold dead hands!!!!!!!! also for once in my life, y/n is not super insecure we cheered!!

FIC INSPIRED SPOTIFY PLAYLIST <3

“It's obvious she's so out of reach And I'm finding it hard 'cause She makes me feel, makes me feel Like I try, like I try, like I'm trying too hard” —Try Hard, 5 Seconds of Summer

On the court, Kim Gyuvin is the star player of the Wakefield Roses. With his long limbs, he handles the ball with ease, capturing the hearts of everybody in the crowd every time he grins after scoring a basket.

Off the court, he’s an awkward mess. Combine that with the fact that you, the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, are usually the one covering games for the school news, and he’s a goner.

As if it isn’t hard enough for him to make eye contact with the camera, he also has to make sure he doesn’t stare too hard at your shiny hair or glossy lips. His teammates would never let him live it down if he was caught being an absolute creep on video.

What started out as a little crush has grown into a deep admiration. He reads every article that you put out into the school newspaper, sometimes even cutting out the ones you’ve written about him and his team. Everybody makes fun of him for being too scared to just ask you out.

He’s never been one to flirt with girls, but the way you make conversations so easy during interviews, even when he’s stumbling over his words, makes him feel at ease around you. Still, he wonders how much of it is just your journalist persona versus you actually liking him.

Sharing a double with Ricky means he gets exiled a lot in the name of his roommate getting laid. Sometimes, you come back from getting your morning coffee and catch him sleeping on one of the lounge’s couches.

One morning, when your arms are full of pastries that you intend to hoard in your dorm for the upcoming week, you spot him curled up yet again on your way back to your room. 

Without much thought, you stop to leave a muffin and a little note next to it on the table in front of him, conveniently forgetting to sign your name.

It began with cutesy but vague things, like “breakfast for a champion,” but quickly escalated as soon as Gyuvin started leaving notes back for you. 

After a couple exchanges, he even wrote that you didn’t need to be leaving him food at all and that he just wanted to know who you were. Truthfully, you had a really big crush on Gyuvin, but didn’t everybody?

Despite being a bit camera shy, he was always so sweet before and after your interviews, doing his best to make small talk and smiling his smile that could make anybody swoon. 

Plus, you’ve seen how much more comfortable he is with other people, even the cheerleaders, who are all super pretty. He must just be really nice.

So, you continue to leave the notes unsigned, despite each one growing in flirtation. You like the thrill of being mysterious, but you’re mostly just scared of getting rejected since he’s never given you a reason to think he likes you back.

It isn’t until Ricky catches you one morning, a sly grin on his face when he sees you leaving a whole stack of notes on the table.

When you lock eyes with Gyuvin’s roommate, you know the jig is up. Surely, he’ll tell him it’s been you all along.

“Y/N,” Ricky nods when you approach him, his arms crossed. “I have to say, I had my suspicions.”

“Listen, Ricky, I would prefer if we could keep this between us.”

“Gyuvin’s been going on and on about some secret admirer for weeks now. It’s cruel that you won’t tell him who you are.”

“He’s welcome to stop writing back if he doesn’t want to,” you shrug, although it would probably devastate you if that actually happened.

“Oh, trust me, he wants to. Especially if he found out it was you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that every time he finishes an interview with you, he might always run home and lock himself in our bathroom because you get him so riled up. If you know what I mean.”

Your eyes go wide at the revelation. Ricky is surely just messing with you. “That’s—that’s not funny, Ricky. You shouldn’t joke about those kinds of things.”

“I’m not joking,” he chuckles. “Listen, Zeta Beta Omega is throwing a party tonight and the whole team will be there. You should come.”

“I don’t do parties,” you scoff. “Why would you even want me there?”

“Because maybe after a few drinks, you and Gyuvin won’t be so scared to tell each other how you feel. Then you guys can knock off this silly game and he can stop whining about not knowing who his mystery girl is.”

“And go back to whining about how all his roommate does is kick him out every night so he can fuck whoever he lays his eyes on?”

“Exactly. See, Y/N, you get me,” he practically purrs. “So, you show up looking all pretty and talk to my poor, lovesick roomie, and I won’t spill your little secret. Deal?”

“Ugh, fine, I guess. I can’t believe you’re blackmailing me. Deal.”

“Trust me, it’s for your own good, sweetheart.”

You cringe at the pet name. “Is this how you talk to everybody?”

“Yes. Why? Is it working? Are you going to start leaving me notes too?”

“Enjoy the rest of your morning, Ricky. I’ll see you later,” you say, walking past him. Even if he’s annoying, it’s genuinely impressive how he managed to brush off every insult you threw his way.

“See you, Y/N.” You don’t even have to look back at him to know that he winked as he said that.

—————-

Gyuvin knows that staying up all night waiting around for his mystery girl would be an invasion of privacy. At least he thinks the person who keeps leaving him baked goods and notes is a girl. Or maybe he’s just being hopeful that it’s you.

He’s never seen your handwriting before, but he’s been close enough to smell your perfume and he swears he can catch hints of it wafting off the sticky notes.

In fact, he’s started looking forward to Ricky kicking him out of their shared bedroom just because he knows he’ll be waking up to the sweetest surprise when he sleeps in the lounge.

Tonight’s party should be a good distraction from all of the wondering. Maybe, if he’s drunk enough, Ricky will be more embarrassing than alluring and Gyuvin will get to sleep in his own bed. Still, he can’t get this morning’s notes off his mind. 

You’ve left him clues, little doodles of your favorite things. Your coffee order, favorite color, favorite animal, and so on. He’s hoping you’ll be at tonight’s party so he can see if you mention any of the stuff drawn out, but you never show up to these kinds of things.

That was before Ricky got involved. You stood outside the ZBO frat house wearing your worst sneakers and a baby pink minidress, as suggested by one of your suitemates.

If only you didn’t show up by yourself. There were a few familiar faces from class, and of course, the entire basketball team, but nobody you were really friends with. All you could focus on was how sticky the floor was and how much you needed a drink.

“Hi,” you say, finally making your way over to the bartender. It’s the team’s captain, Hanbin. “Just give me whatever tastes the best.”

“One rum punch it is,” he smiles, his whisker dimples making your heart flutter. Why was everybody on the team good looking? “Y/N, right?”

“Yep,” you say, taking the plastic cup from him. “You’re Hanbin. You know, I’ve been meaning to interview you, but you always seem so busy with other things at games.”

“Don’t worry about it. It wouldn’t be nearly as cute as when you interview Gyuvin,” he laughs, eyeing the line of guests waiting for their drinks. “I’ve got a job to do, but I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Thanks for the drink,” you say, holding it up in a sort of cheer before walking away. You take a sip and savor its sweetness, the liquor’s flavor blending in perfectly to the juice. Hanbin’s words stick with you. Were you and Gyuvin cute together?

Sure, he’s so tall that he practically towers over you, but he refuses to ever make eye contact and always keeps his replies so short and polite. Then again, he sure seems to write a lot in the notes that he doesn’t know are going to you.

For a second, you start to consider that you might actually have a chance with him, until you spot him with a beautiful girl touching his arm and whispering something in his ear. Before you can mope for too long, someone is tapping you on the shoulder.

“There you are,” a familiar voice calls over the music. You turn to see Ricky grinning at you, his hair looking almost white under the lights. “You look good.”

“Thanks, I guess,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest to prevent him from checking you out any further. He glances past you at his roommate.

“Don’t worry about her,” he assures you. You don’t know whether or not to believe him. “Gyuvin has never taken a girl home from these parties, let alone kissed one.”

That’s a relief. “Don’t you have a hook-up to hunt down?” you ask Ricky. He cocks an eyebrow at you, sipping his drink.

“Oh, Y/N. I keep my girls on speed dial,” he chuckles. You cringe at his playboy persona and for once in his life, Ricky is embarrassed. He shuts his mouth, hoping you can’t see him blush.

“Wow,” you say, tilting your head at him. “Don’t tell me young and rich, tall and handsome Shen Ricky can actually feel shame. I really wish I had a cameraman with me right now.”

“Like I said, it works on most people,” he attempts to reason. “You’re just immune to my charms, I guess.”

“Guess so,” you smirk, downing the rest of your drink. You glance behind your shoulder to see Gyuvin still talking to that girl, then back at Ricky, who’s deep in thought.

“Do you want to meet the rest of the team?” he asks, surprising you. You give a slight nod, and that’s all he needs to see before grabbing your wrist and pulling you through the crowd.

At first, Ricky lingers as you make small talk with Matthew, Taerae, and Gunwook, and explains to you that Yujin is actually at home because he’s still in high school. You feel like a horrible journalist—have you been so preoccupied with Gyuvin that you didn’t notice there was a literal child on the team?

By now, Ricky’s abandoned you to go find something, or someone, more entertaining. He’s dropped you off with Jiwoong, the oldest player, who is as aloof as he is annoyingly handsome. The way he eyes you makes your stomach do cartwheels, and you’ve had enough to drink that you can’t see the harm in flirting with a cute boy.

He’s spewing some bullshit about meditating when you cut him off. “I like your hair,” you blurt out, catching him off guard. He turns and smiles at you for the first time since you started talking.

“You do?” he asks, running a hand through it. “I think it’s a little long. I might get a haircut soon.”

“Keep it like that,” you say, not taking your eyes off of him. “It looks good.”

Jiwoong is grinning now, but he remembers that you’re Gyuvin’s crush, and it would be totally wrong to kiss you no matter how badly he wants to. He eyes the crowd, searching for someone to save him from the tension. 

“Hao!” he says, grabbing a boy passing by and pulling him into the conversation. He looks familiar, but he’s certainly no basketball player. “Y/N, this is Zhang Hao. He’s our equipment manager. I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”

“Hi, Y/N,” Hao says, clearly caught off guard. “You’re the one who does the interviews, right?”

“That’s me,” you confirm. Jiwoong’s departure right when you thought he was going to kiss you was beyond bizarre. “I didn’t realize how many people knew me.”

“You’re basically a celebrity to the team,” Hao laughs. “They all think you’re pretty.”

“Makes sense,” you smile, sipping on your third drink of the night. “I am, in fact, very pretty.”

“Agreed. So, which one do you have your eye on?” he asks, leaning in to hear you better. “Or should I guess?”

“Go ahead and guess,” you say, eager to know what he thinks.

Hao takes a second to gather his thoughts. “Well, it’s clear that you’re into Gyuvin based on the way you giggle at his seriously unfunny jokes, but you were also just eye fucking Jiwoong. Then again, wasn’t Ricky dragging you around earlier by the hand?”

“By the wrist,” you correct him. “And yes, I do like Gyuvin. But he’s been talking to some other girl the whole night.”

“He only has eyes for you,” Hao says immediately. This is the second time you’ve heard this tonight, but the first where it’s coming from a trustworthy source.

“And you?” you ask in return, shifting the conversation onto him. “Which one do you have a crush on?”

Hao’s eyes widen. “I–I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not—I don’t—”

“Hao,” you cut him off. “You’ve glanced at Hanbin at least six times since this conversation started.”

He swallows, knowing he’s been caught. “It’s that obvious, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Why don’t you go talk to him?”

“We talk all the time,” Hao mutters, looking down at his shoes. “I’m basically his personal assistant.”

“Do you talk about anything other than basketball?”

“No.”

“Do you even like basketball?”

“...No.”

“Hao,” you say, gripping him by the shoulders and turning him towards the drink station. “Go over there and get your man.”

—————-

As if it weren’t enough of a shock to Gyuvin that you actually showed up to a ZBO party, he’s had to spend all night watching you chat up the entire team except for him. 

They’ve no doubt let it slip to you that he has the biggest crush on you on campus, maybe even the entire world. But he’s way too nice to tell one of his classmates, who attends every game just to hold up a sign with his name on it, that he isn’t interested. 

That’s how he ended up nursing his drink with a tight lipped smile, listening to what’s-her-name ramble on about things that would be more interesting to probably anybody else, all while keeping an eye on you as you bounce around the party.

Your interaction with Jiwoong made him jealous beyond belief, and he makes a mental note that while he’s made his crush on you very clear to his teammates, you’re technically not his and free to flirt with whoever you want.

He watches as you grasp Hao and shake him, muttering some words of encouragement before sending him over to the bar. Finally, you’re alone again. It’s now or never.

“I have to go walk my dog,” Gyuvin lies, not even bothering to let the poor girl react before making his way over to you. You’re wearing pink, his secret admirer’s favorite color. Surely, it’s not just a coincidence. 

“Y/N,” he says a little too loud, startling you. You jump, accidentally knocking yourself into him. Both of your drinks go flying and suddenly, you’re covered in sticky red liquid. 

At this point, Gyuvin might as well just die alone. How did he manage to only spill his drink on you and not himself? He peers down at you, guilt written all over his face, as you take in what’s just happened.

“Here,” he says, reaching into his hoodie’s pocket and pulling out wadded tissues. “They’re clean, I promise. I have, uh, I’ve got allergies, so I carry around a ton.” 

He unfolds one and gently pats the liquid off of you without so much of a second thought. Your silence makes him panic even more, and he’s so focused on drying you off that he doesn’t even notice he’s basically rubbing the tissue on your cleavage.

Gyuvin freezes once he finally notices where his hand is, immediately pulling away and putting a good distance between the two of you. “I am so sorry. Holy shit, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not a pervert! Please don’t think I’m a pervert.”

“Gyuvin,” you finally say, your voice just as sweet as always. He’s pacing as much as he can with everybody packed in so tightly, his long legs taking tiny steps. “It’s okay. I don’t think you’re a pervert.”

He stops and looks down at you. “Really? You’re not just saying that?”

“Really,” you reassure him. “Although I might think you’re a klutz. Who knew Wakefield’s star basketball player was so clumsy off the court?”

“Technically, you bumped into me,” he asserts, his smile returning. “But you’re also the one who got soaked, so let’s just call things even.”

“Deal,” you agree. Sure, it’s fun when boys are obviously flirting with you, but the way Gyuvin has no clue what he’s doing is just so charming. It feels natural when you’re with him, a nice departure from the overused pickup lines and generic compliments that are usually thrown your way.

Gyuvin takes in your stained dress, the red punch seeping into the pink fabric like blood. You look straight out of a horror movie. 

“Here,” he says, shrugging off his varsity jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders before taking in the sight of you. “Wow. You look so…”

“Silly?” you answer, the expanse of material wrapped around you like a tent. 

“Cute. You look so cute.” Gyuvin meets your eyes for a split second before looking away again, his ears now feeling even hotter than when he saw you with Jiwoong. “I can get you a new shirt, if you want. My room isn’t far from here.”

“You want me to go with you to your room?” you giggle, enjoying how flustered you make him. Hearing his teammates talk about how much he likes you has taken a weight off your shoulders, and you don’t know how you ever thought he wasn’t into you before.

“No! Well, yes, but only if you want to. And I’m not using this as an excuse to bring you back to my room. I just know you like pink and I have this one pink shirt that shrunk in the wash and I think you’d look really good in it. Plus, I can start a load of laundry and get your dress all clean.”

This is the most you’ve ever heard him talk, his voice a few pitches higher than usual when he’s rambling. Plus, if he knows how much you like pink, he must be following your clues. “Let’s go to your room, then.” 

—————-

While Gyuvin’s side of the room is much neater than you expected, Ricky’s side looks weirdly perfect. Not a single thing is out of place, with every item labeled or color coordinated. You’re shocked that two basketball players can manage to keep such a small room so tidy.

“Sorry, it’s kind of a mess,” Gyuvin apologizes, moving to make his bed. “You can sit here.” 

“If this is what you think is messy, you don’t want to see my room,” you say, taking in all of the decorations. Usually, when you’re in a guy’s room, it’s all navy blue and manly movie posters, but Gyuvin’s walls are so colorful and covered in photos of his family and friends. 

One piece of paper catches your eye—the very first article you wrote about the basketball team. You scan his wall, catching more and more newspaper clippings, all penned by you. Gyuvin’s too busy putting things away and rustling through his drawers to notice you staring at them in awe.

“Here we go,” he calls out, turning and holding up a shrunken pink t-shirt and a pair of sweats. His grin fades as soon as he catches you reading one of your own articles, which have been on his wall for so long that he’s forgotten they’re even there. “Oh. Uh, please don’t think I’m a creep.”

“It’s not creepy. It’s sweet. They’re all about you, anyway,” you say, turning to take the shirt from him. It has a picture of a silly looking greyhound on the front of it.

“Right,” Gyuvin says, shrugging off the interaction. He pulls himself onto the bed next to you, sitting cross legged and making sure to leave a gap between you and him. “That’s my dog, Eumppappa.” 

“Eumppappa is an amazing name,” you muse, turning to smile at him. Your faces end up being so close that Gyuvin thinks his heart has stopped beating. In his attempt to scoot back, he ends up tumbling off of his bed.

“Fuck,” he says as he lands on the ground. You peer down from the lofted bed at his long limbs sprawled across the rug. If you didn’t think he was a complete loser before, you probably do now.

“Are you okay?” you call out, watching as he sits up and rubs his head.

“I’m good,” Gyuvin assures you, taking a breather before getting to his feet and heading towards the door. “I’m going to step out and let you change. Let me know when you’re decent.”

“Will do,” you smile, giving him a thumbs up. You strip your clothes off, throwing on the t-shirt and sweats and pulling the drawstring until you know they won’t fall off of you. “You can come back in, Gyuvin!”

He stumbles in, practically waiting with his body pressed against the door for the moment he could see you again. God, could you really not tell how much he liked you before tonight?

Gyuvin eyes you drowning in his clothes and he knows that he’d move earth and heaven if it meant that you’re who he got to wake up to for the rest of his life. 

“I’ll go throw this in the washer and then we can head back to the party,” he stammers, snapping out of his daydream and grabbing your dress. Your smile is so pretty right now, even after all of his awkwardness, that it takes everything in him not to get hard just looking at you.

By the time he gets back from the laundry room, you’ve decided you don’t want to go back to the party, especially not dressed like this.

“Oh,” Gyuvin says, disappointed that his time with you has been cut short by his clumsiness. “Do you want me to walk you back to your place?”

“I live down the hall,” you remind him. You hope he doesn’t realize you could’ve just as easily grabbed your own change of clothes.

“Right,” he grimaces. He knows that. He’s always trying to time leaving his room perfectly so that he runs into you on the way to class.

Just like whenever you interview Gyuvin, there’s an awkward silence, except this time it can’t be edited out. He’s back to looking everywhere in the room except at you.

“It’s not even midnight,” you say, glancing at your phone’s lockscreen. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Like, together?” Gyuvin asks in disbelief. You nod, an amused smirk on your face. “Duh, of course you meant together. Yeah, sure, let’s watch a movie.”

Moments later, you’re sitting in the dark with Gyuvin, your legs pulled close to your chest as you watch Amélie projected onto the wall above Ricky’s bed. 

Every once in a while, Gyuvin lets himself relax, his arm or his leg brushing against you by accident. After spending half of the film pulling away out of fear that he’s bothering you, he finally settles for having his fingers barely touching yours. 

“You know,” he starts, his eyes still locked on the movie. “I kind of have my own mystery going on right now.”

“Really?” you say, feigning shock. “About what?”

“Someone keeps leaving me notes when I sleep in the lounge. Sometimes treats, but mostly notes. They don’t sign their name, but today they left me some little doodles as clues and I’ve been trying to figure them out.”

The way you’re reacting makes his stomach turn. How could it be you when you have a look on your face that says you have no clue what he’s talking about?

“Well, I’ve been meaning to work on my investigative journalism. What if I helped you track your secret admirer down?”

If you aren’t going to fall for him, he’ll at least settle for being friends. “That’d be awesome, Y/N.” 

Suddenly, Ricky comes crashing into the dorm room, his lips attached to some girl’s face. He pulls away from her for a second, barely registering that you’re even there, before pulling out his wallet and throwing a couple hundred dollar bills at Gyuvin. “Get out. Now.”

Before you can protest, Ricky’s already unbuttoning his shirt, and you’ll gladly evacuate if it means you don’t have to watch whatever freaky shit is about to go down.

“I didn’t know he pays you to sleep in the lounge,” you laugh, your arms full of Gyuvin’s comforter as you walk down the hall. “With that kind of money, he could just buy an apartment.”

“He could,” Gyuvin starts, holding his pillow in one hand and the stack of notes—your notes—in the other. “But then he wouldn’t get the true college experience. Plus, he only throws money at me when it’s a last minute thing.”

“How much was that, anyway? Like $300?” you ask. He stops and takes out his wallet.

“$400. Pretty standard,” he shrugs, counting the bills. Your eyes widen at the total.

“Are you going to share?” you pout. “I got kicked out too.”

“You can have it,” he says, handing you the money, his brain short circuiting at the way you bat your eyelashes at him. You marvel at the crisp bills. “This is just another Friday night for me.”

“Okay, young and rich, tall and handsome Kim Gyuvin. Thanks for buying my dinner for the rest of the semester!” You don’t know this, but if you asked him to, Gyuvin would buy you whatever you wanted.

Before you can get down to helping him figure out the doodles, or throwing him off your trail, the two of you are fast asleep. Instead of the lounge’s couch, Gyuvin curls up on the oversized bean bag on your bedroom floor. It’s much too small for his frame to actually be comfortable, but he somehow feels more content just being around you.

—————-

Taglist: @orangesodafoam @theresawtf @nerezza123 @gyvnexe @xiurmy-everything @wollycobbl3-blr @cloudgyubi @yunnie-11 @wheatrice

[gotta-winwin]

teleparty celebration 🍊🍕🐯 ~ booseoksoon love languages

as a little something to celebrate bss' comeback !! i present to you... 🥁🥁🥁... booseoksoon and their love languages! specially: things that i do when i'm in love with someone.

playlist ♪: wasteland, baby! and when we are together

"if i am nothing you are the letters that spell it the word that gave it meaning to be nothing to you nothing is everything so when i feel like nothing you look at me and you say my nothing is everything you are everything and i feel just a little bit more okay"

- serena 2023

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sends you songs that remind him of you

Spotify links are flooded through your chats whenever there’s even a little moment of silence. Seokmin listens to music like it’s a religion and never hesitates to share with you the songs that scream your name. Wasteland Baby! By Hozier and When We Are Together by The 1975 are his go-tos whenever he misses your face. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Names his plushies after you

The first time Seokmin brought you over to his apartment you were greeted with a lineup of stuffed animals - all gathered throughout your courting stages or from his friends. He happily introduces you to them all, pointing at each one and stating their name. Each name is clearly a callback to various reminders of you, like Seokmin’s raising his stuffies to the likeness of you.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Starts secretly planning your future 

Although he won’t ever admit it, it didn’t take long for Seokmin to picture your life together - far, far into the future. He can picture you in your wedding dress, at the end of the aisle, a bright and sappy smile on your face as you wait for him to reach you. He’s secretly named all the kids he’d imagine you guys to have, knows the exact family home he’d love to share with you, and has your retirement planned out as well - only in his head.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Bakes 

Cupcakes, cookies, muffins, cake - literally anything recipe he can get his hands on. It served as an excuse to see you in the earlier stages of your relationship, always sending you a text asking if you wanted a piece of anything he made last night. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Texts you every small thing

It’s not every little thing, but pretty much. Random pieces of his day are littered through your chat history - if anyone ever needed to track Seungkwan’s footsteps, your chat history is the way to go. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Brings you to his favourite spots

Seungkwan calls them his “secret alcoves,” privy to only him and no one else. The first time he brought you to one of them he had talked it up to be a big deal, stating “i’ve never done this before,” “you’re the first person i’ve ever brought here,” “we’re basically married if I bring you here” - and it is a big deal to him.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Stares at the sunset and thinks of you

Sunsets are one of Soonyoung’s favourite things to look at - a close second to you. Although he often sends you pictures of the brightly colored orange and pink sky, sometimes he just stares, keeping the sunset to himself as he basks in the nostalgia and love coursing through him. “The sunset signifies the end of the day.” He explains when you ask him why he loves it so much. “And the end of the day is when I get to see you.”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Write his name with your last name

Soonyoung hates to admit it because it makes him sound like a lovesick teenager (which he really is) but sometimes, when he’s extremely bored, he’ll find himself scrawling his name with yours on a scrap piece of paper - just to see how it’d look. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Your enemies are his enemies 

He loves to yap with you whenever you need a release of anger. He’ll side-eye your enemies without a second's hesitation. Soonyoung’s always operated with the belief that loyalty comes before all, not just in relationships, but in general. He’s loyal to you in the sense that - your friends are his friends and your enemies are his as well. It’s just another way to show you that he’s got your back.

[holycoco]

12 Little things to do to romanticize fall

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Hi jelly beans,

I always did not love summer at all, even tho I was born in July, mid summer.

Thats because I always felt better on cold seasons and I recently discovered that i'm such a pro on romanticizing autumn.

This are all little things to do to make yourself enjoy the cold season have fun with it…✎ᝰ

౨ৎ Clean your room and if you can, change the position of your bed near the window, I love getting up and seeing the view.

౨ৎ Find some recipes and bake! If you need some ideas let me know (I'm obsessed with pumpkin muffins and strudel I can drop the recipes)

I love cooking and it makes me feel better anytime.

౨ৎ Get a cute mug and make you some hot drinks! If you love tea and herbs like me start a collection, get you all kinds and flavors.

౨ৎ Go trhifting with a friend or without one. Its such a cute and relaxing activity, get a hot drink on the way!

౨ৎ Go for candles shopping or just smell them its such a soul heal.

౨ৎ Make a playlist and go for a walk! Music and atmosfere are key. Let me know if you want one from me!

౨ৎ Get a new haircut or a new hair color. Personally I love me some layers and a brown chocolate head.

౨ৎ Buy vogue.

౨ৎ Find a new makeup routine, you can look for some on tik tok or pinterest, obv do what compliments your skin tone and features but here's some cute ones: aria montgomery makeup tutorial, helena gilbert makeup, cindy kimberly makeup inspo, slavic doll makeup tuto.

If you're into full glam, 2000's mom kinda makeup like me I suggest some jessica alba, stockholm makeup, old kim k kinda makeup!

౨ৎ Look for cute hobbies, book scrapping, journaling, memory boxes or reading (please ask me for a readig list pleaseee, I'm dying to make one for you)

Find a penpals!!!! So cute, I love love love this little thingy I always start on september cause there's when I don't feel like crap to do anything.

Do it, literally. You can find some here on tumblr or tik tok it's always well loved receiving letters!

౨ৎ Invest in good comfy slippers or some uggs

౨ৎ Look for good colors of the season that looks good on you or you like and get items of that color, lipsticks, scarfs, bags, nails...

This was a long post and I still feel like a missed something…

xoxo mamas, stay cozy, stay romantic, stay fall!!!

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

love, Mary

[moonstruckme]

MAE'S 7K BAKE SALE !

I honestly didn't ever expect to have more than a handful of people who would willingly read my writing on here, so 7k feels absolutely inconceivable!! Thank you guys so much for being here with me, and always always for being the sweethearts you are. I hope you enjoy this celebration <3

apple pie - send a character + a prompt off this list and I’ll write a drabble

blueberry muffin - send me a fic/drabble you really wanted a part 2 of and I will do my best to give it to you haha

thumbprint cookies - send a character + a scenario/trope/etc. and I'll send back some headcanons

pumpkin bread - send a character + a scenario/trope/etc. and I’ll make a moodboard or a playlist (up to you!) based on it

what’s on special - tell me your favorite baked good (and a fandom preference if you’d like) and I’ll tell you which character would want to split it with you

a box of cupcakes - fuck marry kill, cast your mutuals, whatever games you want :)

The bake sale ends on 9/12 <3

[madamechrissy]

Up in The Air

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ Suguru Geto x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Breeding kink (Suguru needs twins) getting tied up, ass smacking, oral fixation, body worship, blow jobs, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, Suguru being sexy bc why nottt

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ You have been jilted at the altar by your groom, Mahito, who has led you on for years. Your best friends, Maki and Yuta, suggest to go on this Honeymoon alone, to get away and find yourself again. On the plane ride, you run into a gorgeous man on a business trip, who holds your hand when you say that you're terrified of planes, Suguru Geto. You all fall into easy conversation, and there's chemistry, he makes you feel better than you had in a long time. You think to ask his number, when he realizes that his room has fallen through.

Well, you have a big honeymoon suite, and you suggest he stays with you. What can go wrong? Not like you don't wanna straddle him or anything...

Chapter 6 -- Masterlist Playlist

Chapter 7

Every inch of you feels deliciously sore as you yawn, stretching the next morning, and Suguru isn’t there. You frown a bit, sitting up, realizing what time it must be, and then get dressed, padding around the suite. You flush when you see the table has a little bag and a note, and see that Suguru grabbed you breakfast.

You pick out a blueberry muffin, nibbling and looking at the little paper with pretty handwriting.

You looked so cute, I couldn’t wake you. I’ll only be gone until noon. Please eat something? And drink water.

You exhale, touched by his thought, your nerves leaving a bit, and you peek at your phone, blinking in shock when you see what time it is.

“Shit, I slept that much?” You mumble to yourself, realizing it was well past eleven already.

You get dressed in your bikini and coverup, since you weren’t sure what you all were doing today, then call Maki on video chat. She answers quickly, and as soon as she sees you she gasps.

“Is that a hickey! Is that… several hickeys!?” You giggle, nodding and she freaks out. “Tell me, bitch!”

“I’m totally not a virgin.”

“Ah! How was it?”

“Fucking amazing. Ugh.” You set her down on your dresser, fixing up your hair in a ponytail.

“Details, details!”

“Okay… like he’s so amazing, Maki. His tongue is like… otherworldly, his fingers? Ugh. But his cock…"

“It’s big isn’t it!”

“It’s huge, Maki oof. I’m so sore!” She’s giggling, as are you, as you take her in the bathroom now, doing a little mascara and some moisteruizer. “Maki like I came so much…”

“Bitch now I’m jealous! Are you gonna do it again?”

“I totally did it twice.” You blush as she freaks. “I know, I know. I’d have gone again, but he’s so sweet, he didn’t wanna hurt me. I… have it bad for him, really bad. I almost said…”

“Oh shit, babe.” She covers her mouth, and you exhale, leaning on the bathroom counter and washing your hands.

“I know. I don’t wanna say, hey, I know we don’t know each other, but I’m falling for you? How psycho does that sound!”

“It’s not psycho, it’s how you feel.” You sigh, opening the door and then leaning back against it. “Just be honest.”

“I am gonna scare him away. I was so worried… when I woke up he wasn’t there, but he left me this cute note! Ugh, he’s so perfect.”

“You’re so cute, I’m so happy for you. And he's so hot!”

“He is so gorgeous...”

“Thanks, Princess. So are you.” You gasp, nearly dropping the phone, it’s bouncing between your hands as you try to catch it, as you see Suguru Geto casually leaned against the front door.

“Oh shit! Oh my god…”

“You drop me?”

“Maki, gosh. Um… gotta go? Love you.”

You end the call, covering your face in embarrassment. “Oh no, how much of that did you hear!?”

He smirks a bit, coming to walk to you now, looking stupidly handsome in his pinstripe suit and skinny black tie, his hair all put up today in some sleek bun. He’s barring you against the bathroom door, leaning down, towering over you, and you inhale that yummy scent of his, mouth watering, your eyes catching his, seductive glint in those cat eyes of his.

“I heard that I have a huge dick.”

You're bright red. “Well… you do.”

He laughs a bit, then sighs, caressing your face gently. “May have heard a few more things.”

Your eyelashes flutter, as you look down a bit. “I’m sorry, I wish I could keep my mouth shut-”

“Ah-ah. Look at me.” You do as he commands, eyes locking, and he’s serious for a moment, studying you. “Tell me what you said to your friend.”

“That I…” You tremble, sweaty hands sliding up his expensive suit jacket, pulling at the fabric gently. “It’ll scare you.”

“I’m not easily scared. Say it.” He kisses your forehead softly, sweetly, then your cheek, then to the corner of your mouth. You feel desire and strong, insane feelings mix, making you feel weak.

“I’m falling for you, Suguru.” You manage a whisper, and then he moans, picking you up in his arms, and smashing his lips on yours. You moan, eagerly gripping his shoulders, wrapping your legs around narrow hips, nearly naked in your bikini as he’s fully clothed in a damn three piece. “Sugu…”

“You’re so beautiful, Princess. I missed you.” He whispers the words, chocolate eyes locking on yours, and you whine, pathetic, gripping him tighter, smashing your lips hungrily for him.

“I missed you. I was so… worried…”

“I’m sorry.” He’s got you on the kitchen table now, yanking your head back by gripping your hair, kissing your lips brutally, your thighs close in on him, craving that friction. “I should have said I was leaving.”

“No, no, the note… cute… sweet…” You’re kissing on his neck, right near his starched collar, and he groans, pressing against you harder. “Sugu…”

“You looked too peaceful.” He’s kissing you more, as you yank on his tie, and he’s got your cover up shoved up, yanking your tits out, they bounce as they fall out of your top, bouncing in front of him, and he groans. “These perfect tits.”

“Please, please…” He moans, kissing down your breasts, gripping them in his big hands, you arch your back up, yanking his tie down for more of his touch.

“Please what, Princess? Use your words for me.” He orders, silken voice shooting more desire through your body, wanting more of him, on top of you, inside of you.

You gulp, licking your lips. “Please make love to me, Sugu.” At that he nearly growls, yanking down your bottoms in one fell swoop, baring your swollen little pussy to the cool air in the suite, and to his hungry gaze. “Oh, please.”

“Anything for you, love.” He whispers, then he’s kissing down your tummy, making it tremble, as his hand slides down and cups you between your plush thighs. “This wet, from hardly anything? So needy for me?”

You nod, eagerly, and it turns him on more, his cheeks flushed, eyes getting lidded, as he slides a finger in, making you gasp, as he pushes past that tight little ring of muscles and hits that spot that makes you see stars. He presses, arching that long finger, kissing further and spreading your thighs wide.

“Keep telling me what you want, Princess.” He kisses up your soft inner thigh, tickling you and making you even wetter, as you throb in need for his touch.

“Lick me, please, Suguru.” He moans, breath hot on your cunt, and you lean back against the table on your elbows, as he slips his tongue up, in a long stripe up your slit, soft brown eyes staring up as he does it again. “Ah!”

“Taste so sweet for me.” He whispers, breath tickling your clit that he exposes, pulling apart your lips, then he flicks his talented tongue right on it, circling it, fucking torturous little circles. You’re panting, as desire and pleasure rock every inch of your body, whines coming out from the back of your throat.

“S’good… Sugu! Unh…” He’s continuing those slow strokes, all while looking at you, and then he slides a finger back inside, and the combination of both gets you high so fast it’s ridiculous.

“Soak my face, Princess, please.” He whispers those words, and you fall apart, right on his gorgeous face as he buries it back against you, sucking your tiny clit into his mouth and flicking over and over.

“Cumming! Right there, right there!” Your thighs close slightly, from all the intense pleasure, but he’s relentless, humming on your clit now, until you’re gushing all over his mouth, orgasm bursting through you. He’s drinking you up, kissing your tummy again, sliding up, and you’re so weak from it, you struggle to pull his tie, smashing his lips down on yours.

Your lips devour each other, as you hastily reach down for his belt buckle, unsnapping it and freeing his huge, pretty cock, which bounces out, smacking him where his dress shirt is. You yank that up to, revealing at least a part of his tanned, toned stomach, running your fingers down until you get his length, hot and hard in your grip.

Your eyes lock, as you watch the desire mirror in those eyes, as his hands now grab your waist, gripping tight, then picking you up in his arms. You gasp, and then he’s carrying you to the bed, making you giggle, kissing down his neck, inhaling his scent and snuggling.

“That table would hurt your back.” He explains, and you just hum happily at how sweet he is, lips kissing his neck again, as your back now hit’s the soft bed, and he’s back on top of you, still in that damn suit. You eagerly slide off his jacket, making him smirk charmingly. “Need me naked so bad?”

“Mmm, yes, I do. But, the suit… It's hot too.” You say with blushing cheeks, he laughs a bit, helping you, as your shaky hands unbutton his dress shirt, eyes drinking in his chiseled body as it’s bared to you. “Your body… it’s so gorgeous.”

You kiss down his chest, little hot pecks of open lips, feeling him tense around you, his grip tightening, then he’s got your legs around him, at your entrance, groaning at the sensation. You arch your ass up, as he’s teasing it, stroking up and down, all while he’s kissing you again, drinking your cries, and your hands move from his chest down to his hips, urging him.

“Need you. Now.” He says gruffly, and you nod, eagerly, gasping when he swiftly thrusts his cock deep, so deep in you, at once.

You tense at it, at how full it makes you feel, at all the pressure, and he stays there a moment, allowing you to adjust, his brows drawn low, as he moans at the sensation.

“You feel so good, so tight, so hot…” He’s murmuring the words as he stays there, kissing your cheeks, your forehead, and your legs tremble around his hips, as it starts to feel so amazing, that pressure. “You okay love?”

“I’m good. So good, Sugu.” You lean up, arching your back, and he groans at what the angle does.

“Ready?” He asks, and you nod, eagerly, as he slides out, then fully back in, again and again, and you cling to his shoulders under his open dress shirt, feeling the muscles flex as he fucks into you.

“Ah, Sugu! Mnh!” You cry out, as he begins pounding his cock into you, sounds of skin slapping against skin, as his hips snap into you.

He moans, the sounds urging you on, leaning up to look at you, to brush back your hair, as your blown out eyes glazed with lust stare back at him. He studies you with parted lips and lidded eyes as he shoves in deep then, against your cervix, watching as the orgasm builds, and you cling to him, eyes fluttering shut.

“Look at me.” He orders, and you struggle, as the pace picks up, as he fucks you deeper, faster, and you just helplessly cling to him. “Now, Princess.”

You open your eyes, focusing on his pretty face over you, as he’s wrecking your insides so deliciously you can’t take it. “Sugu… cumming!”

“So soon?” He teases you, and you pout, nodding, making Sugu groan, sliding out then fully back in, the sound of your greedy cunt sucking him in mixing with your breathy cries.

“S’good is why, Sugu. Unh!” You scream out when he pushes up, and then your stomach sucks in and tenses as that orgasm smashes your body, and he groans as your pulse around him, gushing.

“Fuck Princess…” He grips you tightly, pausing and feeling your walls tighten around his thick length, his lips part and he’s exhaling. “You’re so tight after… fuck I can’t handle it.”

He’s struggling to move, tense over you, as his strokes get slower, hips rocking up, slowly fucking you through your orgasm and into another. You can hardly see, his face blurring with the tears of pleasure in your eyes. You blink them away, rolling your hips up to meet him, and his sounds just urge you on, until you feel him thickening deep inside your cunt.

“Suguru!” You cry out, clutching tight, and he’s got your mouth back in his possession, overtaking all of your senses, cock pounding your pussy harder now, so hard the bed creaks each time. “Sugu! Sugu!”

“Cum again for me, Princess- ah- please. For me.” He mumbles the words now, brow furrowing, one hand sliding up to your arms then, grabbing them by the wrists and pinning them above your head. “Be a good girl for me. Now.”

“Y-yes, Sugu. Yes…” You do exactly as he says, back arching up as you cum so hard you’re clamping down on his cock, and he’s hissing at it, strong hand squeezing both of your tiny wrists tightly.

“So beautiful, cumming all over my cock.” His husky voice makes it all too much, his jerky rhythm bruising your cervix.

“Cum in me, please please. Please cum in me.” You beg outright, in a little whine, looking up and watching his flushed cheeks, his eyes shutting for a moment, as he starts pulsing inside you.

“Want all this cum, do you?” He huffs the words out, and you nod, gripping his hips tight, urging him on.

“Fill me up, please.” He curses, pressing his weight on you, his free hand yanking your thigh up, pressing even deeper, so deep it hurts. Hurts so good.

“Fill you up, huh. Can you even take it all?” His lips are a breath away, noses touching, so close to cumming again your eyes cross, and you just nod, eager, and he starts pumping now, hot, white ropes of his cum inside you.

“Sugu!” You scream out, as his hot cum keeps pumping, so fucking much, that it pushes you over the brink, and you cum again, shoving his cum out around that thick length, as he pushes more of it back in with his thrusts. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck.”

“Fuck. Fuck.” He mutters at the same time, easing his grip on your wrists and slamming his lips back on yours, while you’re twitching with aftershocks. He eases back a bit, smiling down at you. “You missed me huh.”

“I missed you, alot. The whole hour I was up.” You giggle, and he grins down at you, easing out, and his cum and yours is just pouring out.

“Slept in so much, huh?” You nod, then push him on his back, your hair falling long like a curtain over your face, sliding against his chest. “Mmm, what are you up to, bratty girl?”

“Gonna clean up this mess.” He grips you tight, groaning.

“You’re so hot.” You giggle, kissing down his chest, down his perfectly flat toned stomach, until you get to the sticky mess you’d made his thick cock, still hard. You brace your arms on either side of him, and his hands go in your hair, gripping. “Will you do a good job, Princess?”

You lick the tip of him, swollen still, dripping out sticky white remnants of more cum, and you swipe your tongue up it slowly, feeling his thighs tense under you, and his lips part, desire in his gaze. “I’ll do a good job, Sir.”

“Fuck… still don’t know where you came from.” You giggle, sliding your mouth up and down him, tasting both of you, then you feel him hardening. You blink, and he just smirks.

“Again? So… soon?”

He grabs your hips, sliding you up him, until your slick cunt is on his length, and you flush a bit. “Wanna ride me, Princess?”

“I… what if I… suck? And disappoint you.” He shakes his head, grabbing your face gently, looking into your eyes and making your heart flutter.

“You could never disappoint me, love. Ever.” You exhale, feeling emotions hit, at how much you…

Love him.

How perfect he is.

How good you feel.

“I wanna make you feel as good as you make me.” You whisper, as he sits up, your legs on either side of him, arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“You do that just existing.”

“Suguru...” You’re crying. Again.

He kisses you, knowing you already, that this is how you are. You cry.

“Happy tears?” He asks, and you nod.

How does someone you just met get you better than anyone?

“So happy. I wanna do a good job, Sir. Teach me?” You bat your lashes with a pout, and he sighs, laughing softly.

“Those puppy dog eyes get me. Every time. Make me wanna spoil you.” He lifts your hips, and then he looks down, watching his cock dissapear inch by inch, as you sit down on it. “Look at that, you taking me so well.”

“Sugu!” You barely hold it together when you’ve sunk all the way down his cock now, feeling him in you, where you’re sore and aching, nearly burning your skin with the stretch. But its so delicious. “How - move- huh?”

He snorts in laughter. “You can’t talk love, huh?”

You glare a bit. “No. Can’t. Move. Talk.” He grins, but then hisses when you clamp down around his cock, moaning and gripping you tight around your little waist with his big hands.

“You little brat. Can’t talk so you torture me with this tight cunt.” You giggle, but then when he picks you up and slams you down, the giggle stops in your throat, replaced by a whine. “Had something to- ha- say?”

“F-fuckk! Sugu…” Is all you manage, as he slams you down again, and you’re soaking his cock, his thighs, everything, gushing around him.

“Can’t move, love, need me to use you?” You nod, eagerly, struggling to adjust to the deeper position, wiggling and making him hit that spot so deep in you.

“Can you use me, please? Please. Want you to.” You’re mumbling, then he’s leaned back some, lifting you up high and fucking into you from the bottom. Your tits are bouncing right in front of his face as the silent room fills with slaps of skin and your squelching wentess.

“Use you like my pretty toy?” You nod, his words, his cock, his grip, his eyes… it all was too much. The maddening, brutal pace of his cock as you hang on helplessly, while he just holds you like you’re nothing, it’s too much.

“C-cumming s’good, too good, Sugu- mmm!” Your head lolls to the side, as your mouth is just wide open in an O, eyes rolling back involuntarily while he fucks into you so hard it makes you cum then and there. You tremble as it rocks you, as you’re so weak you can’t hold yourself at all.

“Can’t even hold yourself up, Princess? Can’t use you like this then.” He eases you off him, and you whine, pathetic, until he’s got you on your back now, pressing your thighs all the way up.

“Use me till you cum, Sugu. Please.” You beg for it, for what you really don’t know yet, but you know you want it. He nearly growls, big hands shoving your thighs against your breasts.

“Use you just to cum in? That what you want, Princess?” You nod, and he shoves in, way too deep like that, your ass arches, wiggling, and he’s hissing as his leaking tip kisses your cervix. “You feel too fucking perfect.”

“Then cum in me. In my pussy, please. It’s yours.” He groans, gripping your thighs tight as he fucks into you, stretching your tightening alls out with each thrust.

“This perfect little cunt is all mine?” You nod, and he falls apart with you then, leaning forward, holding your face in his hands. “Then I’ll fill it up, so much, constantly full of me.”

His words are darker, desperate, and it urges you, as you nod, eagerly. “Then do it, Sugu, do it.”

He starts cumming then, shoving in deeper than last time at this position, and your breaths come out in pants as he pushes you over the edge, filling you with even more of his cum, pumping so much it’s so hot inside you. He’s kissing you, smashing your thighs against you, folding you up under him, and you’re already pushing his cum out from just your orgasm.

“Jesus christ. Why are you perfect?” He demands, through gritted teeth, you open your mouth and he stops you. “Don’t say you’re not. Gonna tie you up and teach you a lesson.”

“That sounds fun.” You say breathlessly, and he chuckles, easing out of you, and letting your thighs fall.

“You’re wasting all this cum now.” You tense, then cry out when he shoves it back inside you with two fingers.

“Sugu, fuck!”

“Need you to take it all.” You nod then, as he watches you, shoving those fingers back in your oversensitive cunt, making your wriggle at the sensation.

“Sensitive. Sensitive.”

“I like you that way, Princess.” He cooes, rubbing his free hand down your face gently, like the other wasn’t pushing cum back in you. “You’re so messy for me, aren’t you Princess?”

“Messy. Messy.” You’re about to scream then, and he eases back, shoving his two fingers in your mouth, you greedily suck them, swirling your tongue around the thick digits, pulling out with a pop. “Suguru…”

“Yes, Princess?” He’s pulling you onto your side, kissing you softly, like he hadn’t just wrecked you. The duality of him was intoxicating.

“I meant it. What I said to Maki.” He pauses, and you bite your lower lip, he frees it from the grip of your teeth. “I am falling for you.”

“Guess what, love?” He asks, helping you sit up, and you tense, looking into his eyes nervously.

“What, Sugu?”

“I’m falling too.”

You pause, your heart faltering, your mouth open. He is just sitting there, staring at you, and you wonder, could this be real? Could it…

“You are!?”

“You sound surprised. Of course I am.”

Your tears hit your eyes, and you tremble in his hold, clinging to his broad shoulders as tears fall. “Oh, Sugu, I’m so happy. So happy.”

You both kiss, and kiss, all over each other's lips, cheeks, necks, foreheads, just little pecks, then more intimate, deeper. Until you can feel his hardness on your thigh, and he laughs as you tense.

“It’s a reaction to you. I’m not going again, you gotta be sore.”

“She’ll be okay. She can do it.” He laughs again, and you look up into his eyes, yours watery, as every inch of your body feels so well loved, even your heart, your mind. “Feel like I'm dreaming.”

“I know the feeling.” He holds you to him, and you all stay there, in his arms, comfortable and at ease. “I wasn’t gonna say it yet.”

“Me either! It’s… crazy right? We’re crazy?”

“We’re crazy.”

“Oooh, Sugu, why don’t you come swim in the ocean with me today? You haven’t yet, you know.”

“You just want me to fuck you on the beach.”

“Hey!” But the thought?

“Knew it.”

You giggle, shaking your head as he helps you up on wobbly legs, stabilizing your body with his sure hands. When one comes to your tummy as you all stand together, you whimper. He sighs, turning you so that you can see yourself in the mirror on the wall, with him behind you, long fingers splaying your abdomen.

“Huh.” He says curiously, and you tilt your head.

“Huh what?”

“You’d be so hot pregnant.” You turn bright red then, thighs clutching together as the mere way he said that got you stupidly horny.

“I… what!?”

“Mmhmm. You would be.” He kisses down your head, leaning forward, whispering in your ear. “All round with me. Maybe twins.”

“Sugu you’re… more crazy than me.” You giggle breathlessly, moaning with the pressure on your tummy. “Is this kinky talk?”

He laughs, grinning that pretty white grin in the mirror. “It most certainly is, but the thought of you pregnant? With twins? Umph…”

He’s hard against your back.

“Oh… it is kinky.”

“You’re so cute.” You whine a bit, when his hand stays there, and crazy images hit your mind.

“You wanna put a baby in me, Sugu?” He groans, gripping you tight, so tight you thought you’d bruise, but fuck you want it.

"You're going to be the death of me.” His words are muffled.

You swallow, feeling a blush creep up your neck, arching your ass back so you could tease him more. "What do you mean?"

He leans closer, his breath hot against your ear. "Every little sound you make, every little movement, it all drives me wild."

You can't help but giggle, feeling a thrill at his words. "I know the feeling. You could fill me up more, you know.”

“Oh, I will, princess. Bet it’s sliding down these thighs hmm?” He reaches two fingers down, you’re dripping with his sticky white cum, and you’re soaked again, at the thought of him pumping more cum in you. He hisses. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

“When am I not with you?”

He tilts your head to the side, devouring your lips, and you fall into it, until he eases back, inhaling. “We’ll never leave this suite if we don’t stop. Oh… Princess, you got snorkel gear?”

“I did bring some. I haven’t done it before!”

“I’ll teach you. Come on, let’s cool down before you get pregnant.” You giggle at his bluntness, but his words thrill you.

***

“You look so adorable.” Suguru secures your glittery pink mask, and you flop around on the giant flippers, feeling stupid.

“They only had kid stuff when I shopped.”

He grins. “Lucky you’re small. Hey, nothing wrong with Barbie.”

“Hush!”

Suguru has red swim trunks and an open red kimono, his toned body and tanned skin making you drool damn near. He seems to be eating up the sight of you in kids snorkel gear in amusement, but when his hands come to hold your waist, the amusement fades, to lust.

Every time he touches you it’s like you light up.

Shaking yourselves off, you both head out to the crystal blue waters, as Suguru guides you how to properly use the gear. You both begin to swim, down the coast line, and fish of all sizes flit past you all, their scales glittering from the sun reflecting brightly in the water. Suguru swims slowly next to you, though he was clearly a talented swimmer, he took his time for you.

Suguru points out a giant crab, then a school of marlin, huge, which freak you out a bit at first as they whoosh past you all, then you’re giggling, and have to come up for air. You sputter a bit, slipping the mask off, and Suguru is there with you, taking his off and shaking his head, sprinkling water all over.

“How ya doing Princess?” He asks softly, and you sigh, snuggling into his embrace as he holds his arms out.

“So good. It’s so peaceful.” He holds you, as the water waves all around your bodies, gently rocking you both.

“It is, isn’t it. Peaceful. With you.” His voice gets low, and you look up at him, tummy doing flips, not just butterflies, they were like violent moths. Your hands slide up to his face, brushing against where the goggles had dug in.

“I kinda never wanna go back.” He smiles, a little sadly.

“Because the real world?”

“Yeah, what happens to us? With work and friends, life, family… shit, probably drama too, on my end. Is my pussy good enough to deal with my psycho ex?”

He rolls his eyes. “Your pussy is good enough for that, yes. But… What has you so worried? You think he’ll try something?”

“The way he talked… was like it wasn’t over yet. His torture.” You shiver a bit, sighing. “I don’t want him in my life. But… he knows everything about me. Who’s to say he won’t come and try to break me again.”

He cups your face now, his pretty brown eyes glittering with the sun, like molten pools of honey. You drown in them, nearly forgetting your worries. “You think I’d let him touch you?”

His words, so possessive, make you ache. “I wouldn’t put that on you.”

“Regardless of where this goes, I damn sure won’t let such filth around you, ever again. Understood?” You nod, and you feel them, your tears. “You know, you look beautiful crying, right?”

“Is that kinky, Sugu?”

He grins. “It could be kinky. You cry so much though. I wonder if…” He trails off a bit then.

“Wonder what Sugu?”

He sighs, backing away a bit. “I guess I wonder if in time, you’d cry less. With me by your side.”

“Oh, Sugu…” You wrap your arms around him, kissing him, awkwardly bumping your gear on your heads, and he chuckles, pulling you flush against him. “I cry with you because I’m so happy.”

“Are you just emotional altogether?”

“A crybaby, say it.”

“I wasn’t gonna!”

“Uh huh.” You both look around then, and you realize how far you all had swam out, people are just little dots now. “Oh wow.”

“Let’s swim back, Princess.” You nod, and you all are soon back down under the water, the sun shimmering on your backs, heating it, as the cool water brushed against your front, your chest, your legs. Suguru holds one hand as you all swim down, following the trail back.

Worries of your past fade more and more.

***

“You need a yukata.” Suguru says to you later on, as you all are walking down the boardwalk, side by side, hands brushing together. He was going to get a kimono, and you all were peering until you found a proper shop for one.

“Oh, I’ve never worn one!”

“What!? You need one. Come on.” He takes you further, and you follow, a little confused but curious, until you all come upon a little shop with plenty of yukatas and kimonos.

“These are so pretty…” You murmur, touching the thick, satin material with care, and Suguru comes over to you, eyeing the one you’re touching.

“That would look beautiful on you.” His voice is soft, his hard body coming against yours, you tense a bit, feeling flustered. “Try it on.”

You end up looking in the mirror, and the gorgeous Yukata, sitting over your body, which you were only wearing a lacy pair of red panties and a lacy red bra. The yukata sat untied. You honestly… didn’t know how to tie it? It’s the prettiest pink with red flowers all over, popping off your skin, and it was so pretty you couldn’t think you could even wear such a thing.

“Need help, love?” Suguru’s teasing voice came, and you giggle, opening the curtain and inclining your head.

“Please, I can’t figure it out.” He comes in behind you, then gulps, lips parting as he looks down your body. Your breasts heave under the attention.

“You’re so sexy. I can’t think.” You flush at the praise, taking his hands in your own.

“Thank you Sugu. But I really can’t figure this out.”

“Yeah, yeah… come here.” He comes and expertly ties the Yukata up, then places the wrap on your waist carefully, stepping back and whistling softly. “You look so beautiful.”

“Thank you… I…”

“No, look at you.” He turns you, to where your ass is against his hard body, enwrapped in silk, and you see yourself, glowing and sunkissed in his arms. You tremble as his hands run down your waist, pressing his fingers in. “Look how beautiful.”

You do look beautiful.

“Oh, thank you Suguru. I feel beautiful.” You blink back tears, and he leans close, holding you tightly.

“You always will around me.” He kisses up your face, then down, to your exposed neck, groaning softly. “Wanna fuck you right here.”

“Oh! I…” He laughs, as you’re blushing. “You’re teasing me.”

“Nope, totally would. Would you please let me buy this for you?”

You go to say you would buy it, but then you sigh. “Of course you can, I would love it so much. Can I buy you a Kimono though?”

“No, I’ll buy both.” You pout, making him laugh. “They’re expensive.”

“I don’t mind. I have a successful business and no one to spoil.”

“Oh so you’d spoil me?”

“Sure would.” He picks you up, twirling you around, then easing you back to the floor, smiling deviously at you.

“I think I’ll spoil you. And you’ll accept, like a good girl.” Those words shoot right between your thighs, and he notices, notices your flush, your tightening thighs.

“Unfair.” You bite out, he just grins, and then you all go search for Suguru’s Kimono. And no, you don’t get to pay.

***

Once it’s night, both of you decide to go to one of the beach restaurants, where there are dancers and even a fire show, all as the sweet breeze blows, and the sky turns pretty pinks and purples. Suguru was in the Kimono you had picked out for him, black with a green and gold belt, flowing around him, and fuck if he didn’t look gorgeous in it.

His hair falls soft, half clipped back, the bottom half flowing, silky and shimmering in the evening. He looks so gorgeous it’s hard to function, actually.

You can’t keep your eyes off him.

You in that pretty pink yukata, snug against the curves of your body, with those soft red flowers? Heavenly. And now, one of the ladies puts a matching little red flower over your ear in your soft, flowing hair that's blowing gently in the wind. When your eyes glitter, smiling that little smile of yours at him, it makes his stomach tighten, as he thinks of just how much he loves that.

How you look at him.

How’d he gone without that in his life?

You’re so gorgeous he can’t take his eyes off you.

“You look so handsome, Suguru.” You run your fingertips down the soft material, and he exhales, touching your face gently.

“And you look beautiful, Princess.”

You brighten up at that.

“Not denying it? Know how happy I am tonight?”

“I’m working on it. Because of you.” You lean against him, and one of the ladies comes to take you all to your table. A waitress comes, and smiles at the two of you, seated side by side.

“What a beautiful couple.” She says, and you nearly jump, giddy with excitement at the thought, and you tensely look at Geto. What would he say?

Was he ready for that?

“Thank you. We’re having a great time here.” He pulls you to his side, kissing your cheek, and you blush bright red.

“So cute together!” Comes another waitress, and you nervously cover your face, waiting for Suguru to say no, we’re not together.

Because how could he…

Wait.

Stop that.

He clearly wants you.

You shake off dead voices, echoes of your past, and smile now. “Thank you ladies, that’s so sweet.” You say, then look to Suguru, who’s brimming with pride as he gazes at you.

When they leave you to check the menu, he hums to himself, running fingers down your back over that satin, giving you goosebumps. “So, are we?”

“Are we… what?”

Suguru peeks up at you. “Together? Dating?”

“Are you asking me out, Sugu?” He smirks, looking up and down at you, his hand now firm on your hip.

“Maybe I am. What would the answer be, Princess?”

“The answer would be fuck yes.” He laughs a bit at you. You all order drinks, clinking them together. You notice he opted for a fruity rainbow drink like you.

“What? Yours was so good.”

“I love a man that’s not afraid to drink a rainbow drink.”

“So bratty!”

You all sip your drinks, sitting together, you lean on him, as he holds you so gently. “Sugu, are you my boyfriend then?”

He kisses your lips, and you taste that fruity drink, mixed with Suguru’s minty breath, god it was always so fresh, how? And he rests his forehead on yours. “Are you my girlfriend, Princess?”

“I sure wanna be.” He exhales, running his fingertips down the side of your face ever so softly.

“I haven’t dated in a long time.”

“I dated a sadistic asshole last, so.”

You both grin at that. “You gonna make me ask so officially?”

“Yes please.”

He rolls his eyes. “Will you be my girlfriend, Princess? On this island and back home?”

“I will, Sugu. Oh my… Of course.” You kiss him, eagerly, over and over, as if no one else was around, it was just you two.

“Hey, that means you gotta let me pay for everything.”

“What, no!”

“That’s my rules.”

“Oh… I’ll split things?”

“Nope. I pay.”

You roll your eyes now, and he’s just grinning. “If you don’t wanna be called daddy you can’t spoil me.”

“You’re so bratty right now.” You just stick your tongue out, making him chuckle, as you all begin to get your appetizers. “I’ll let you call me it in bed, only, if you let me buy you things.”

“Deal!”

***

“Daddy!” You’re screaming out an hour later, as he has you tied up to the bed posts with one of his silky black ties, as he's behind you, licking up your pussy, spread wide in front of his face.

“You taste so good for me, Princess.” His chin shoves against your cit, tickling it with his stubble, tongue sliding inside your little hole, slurping up the wetness loudly, making you start to throb again in need for him.

“Mmmnh!” You're reduced to sounds, as he’s leaning up, fingering you now, two fingers knuckles deep, shoving past your little gummy walls and hitting that spot, the one he always hits. It makes you fade out, cum pouring out of your slippery cunt, soaking his hand.

“Good girl, Princess, keep cumming for me.” You fall apart for that, crying out his name over and over, as he whispers yours, gushing ridiculous amounts of liquid as he gets you to cum again. “So wet, soaking the bed, love.”

“Mnh, Sugu, need your cock, please.” He groans at that, gripping your hips then, and your phone rings. You ignore it, as he slides that thick cock in, stretching you out for the third time today. Every stretch makes you ache more and more, you tighten around him as he slams into you balls deep, bottoming out in you. You scream out, and he pulls your hair.

“Feel so good-” your phone rings again, and Geto tenses behind you. “It's blocked number.”

“Don't care, just fuck me Sugu, fuck me please.” He moans, pulling at your hair again, making your ass arch, then it rings again. You curse. “Break the phone, need your dick.”

“Nah… Again?” He presses answer, and you gasp, as he leans forward and puts it on speaker. “Answer them love.”

“Umm… hello?” You manage to breathe out, as Suguru's thick cock slides out, shoving back in, you bite your lip not to moan out loud.

“Really, blocked my number sweetheart? Has your ‘amazing guy’ got sick of you yet? You know he will.” At that you falter, tensing, and you tremble on your knees. Suguru tenses behind you, gripping your hips so hard you thought they'd bruise.

“Sure not getting tired, her pussy is perfect you know.” Suguru starts to speak, and Mahito flips. “Fuck, and the view of this nice big ass? So good.”

You giggle then, and he shoves his cock so deep you cry out, leaving Mahito furious over the phone. “So you're getting fucked like a whore?”

“I'm getting fucked by a huge cock. Mmm! You just gonna listen Mahito?” Suguru laughs behind you, and you laugh too, but then cry out as he picks up the pace, fucking into you, and you knew Mahito could hear everything.

“When he throws you out, I'll be ready, and if you're lucky I'll fuck you.” Suguru leans over you, picking the phone up then, and you look back at his face furious.

“You'll never touch her. Pussy belongs to me now.” You pulse around him and he moans. “And fuck if it's not a perfect little pussy too.”

“You're the one making her so feisty, huh? Give it time. Sweetheart don't forget I've known you forever and I know how pathetic you are. Once he gets tired of that virgin pussy he'll see-”

“Fucked her -ha- five times already? Going for six after this. And she's not pathetic, you are. Can't wait to fucking meet you face to face.” His words are dark as he gives you insane backshots, bruising that cervix.

“I… you…” Suguru puts the phone up to your face and shoves his cock in deep.

“Cum loud so he can hear you, Princess.” You scream out then, shaking with your orgasm, and then the line goes dead, and you tremble, looking back at Suguru, who's grinning. “Bet he doesn't call back.”

“I love you, ugh.” You whisper as he fucks into you, again and again, so quiet you don't think he heard you, thankfully.

“What… a piece of trash… wanna beat his face in.” Suguru is grunting, and you're moaning, ass arching up for more of his thrusts. “How… dare he… you're so… perfect…”

“Sugu!” You're sobbing now, and he pauses.

“Did I hurt you Princess?”

“No I just… that was… so sweet of you.”

“Fucking you on the phone with you ex?” You giggle through tears, nodding, then he comes to untie your wrists, pressing you on your tummy, tilting your face as his weight presses on you. “I'll never let him touch you again.”

“Love you, Sugu. Love you.” He pauses at that, then moans, sliding his cock back in, kissing you passionately, tongues wild, teeth hitting, lips pressing.

“Princess…” You shush him, pressing your ass up for more, as his big arm wraps your waist.

“Don't have to answer yet, s'okay Sugu.” He kisses you again, fucking deeper, pressed so intimately over you. His hand reaches up and entwine's in yours, as he pulls back, breath right on your lips. “Thank you for it, thank you! Thank! Ah!”

“Anything… for you… Princess, Mmm!” You're throbbing around his cock, as he thickens inside you, deep inside, and then he's moaning, as you do. “You're mine, Princess. Mine.”

“Yours Sugu, belongs to you.” He falls apart above you, you hear his breathy moan, gripping you tight.

“Cum with me, love, wanna feel you. Please.” You do as he says, needing no urging, and then you're cumming together, him moaning his release in the crook of your neck, filling you with his hot cum, and you're gushing around him. “Perfect, perfect Princess.”

You struggle to both catch your breath, then Suguru eases out of you, lifting his body off and sighing, coming to lay next to you. His pupils are dilated, eyes blown out, like you, messy hair like you, reddened lips, like you. Both of you were dazed and confused messes.

“It just keeps getting better. I'm so addicted to you Sugu.” He shuts his eyes for a moment, kissing your forehead sweetly, sighing.

“I'm addicted to you, Princess. Everything about you. Um…” He brushes your hair back gently. “What you said…”

“Ignore it please. Shouldn't have so soon.” He frowns at that.

“Did you not mean it? Was it just… sex talk?”

“No. Meant it.” You bury your face against his chest. “But don't wanna ruin this.”

“Honey you won't ruin anything. Promise. I just…”

“It's okay Sugu really.”

Suguru is terrified. Because nothing has ever felt so good as you uttering those words from your pretty lips. Hearing that made his heart stop. He is overwhelmed, because he wants to say it back, but is it too soon? If things don't work out, would that hurt you more? He aches to let go but for now…

He needs some courage apparently. Imagine him, and the only person to ever scare him is a five foot nothing girl who cries all the time? You alone bring him to his knees and make him want to do anything, anything for you. Including deal with that trash that…

“Thank you again though, Sugu. I imagine that made him so fucking mad.” He blinks, shaking out of his reverie to look at you, with your puffy lips and tear streaked, pretty little face.

“I'll do anything for you, Princess.” You blink a fresh set of tears on those spiky lashes, God you're beautiful.

“It meant so much you standing up for me.” You snuggle against him, the ghost of your serious confession in the air. He doesn't push you, or bring it up thankfully, you had been so worried…

“I am falling for you, Princess. I've never felt like this.” Your heart melts at that, as he kisses you so gently, your lips meld into his. “Don't be embarrassed it just may take me… a little-”

“You're fine, Sugu, promise!” He trails little kisses down your cheeks, sticky with your dried tears.

“Let's go shower, pretty. Then get some rest. I think I have a plan for tomorrow.”

“Can't believe we'll leave soon!” He helps you up, bringing you to the bathroom then and starting the shower.

“I know. I've gotten used to waking up with you already.” You flush happily, and as he pulls you into the spray of the hot water, you feel so content, even if…

You'd just blurted the love bomb on him.

And came with your ex on the phone.

Tonight? Wild.

Best night ever.

Chapter 7

Ao3 chap

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56577688/chapters/146639161

[dewdrops-whammy-bar]

TDF chapter 3: Smile

The past few months have been rough for me but I’m back on that fanfiction grind.

Dew is having a real bad time in this one. This is the only chapter where his headspace will get this dark so don’t worry, he’ll be fine. This is his rock bottom and he’s going up from here.

psps I made a playlist

Read below or on ao3!

Words: 4062

Warnings: Dissociation, self-destructive behavior/allusion to self-harm, BPD split and the thoughts that come with that, flashbacks, description of physical abuse and injury, description of emotional abuse, religious trauma, panic attack, vomit mention

Taglist: @skele-bunny @rain-loves-scallops @dewphomet @0-miles-away

Dew taps the bottom of a tiny espresso mug on the counter and tosses it back like a shot. Unfortunately, it’s very hot. He should’ve known that, considering he had just made it, but he was tired. Which is why he’s currently choking down a scalding shot of espresso at 8 in the morning.

“Fuck- god-“ Dew hisses, diving for the sink to fill the tiny cup with water to soothe his burning mouth. It helps a little. “Ow- goddamnit-“

Luckily everyone else is in the kitchen, so Dew is saved from embarrassment for now. He places the little mug into the dirty dish bin and returns his attention to setting up the grinders. Ow. There goes my sense of taste.

Cumulus pushes the curtain in the kitchen doorway out of the way, carrying a tray of various baked goods with her. Dew steps aside to let her pass and she gets to work stocking the glass display case.

“You doin’ alright, hun?” She asks, setting muffins onto a tray in perfectly even rows. “Sorry we had to call ya in early, Sunny’s got some kinda stomach bug.”

“I’m alright, it’s no problem.” Dew lies through his teeth. It’s not like he’d been up all night, grinding his teeth and pacing. He just has to make it through the next five hours and then he can go home and sleep.

Cumulus cocks a bushy eyebrow at him but says nothing. She offers him a cranberry muffin from the tray. Dew takes it gratefully.

“Take care of yourself today, Dew.” She tells him softly before turning back to the pastry trays. Dew nods silently, too busy shoving the muffin into his mouth to answer. He checks the clock- ten minutes to opening.

Luckily, he can somewhat taste the muffin with his scorched tongue. It cheers him up slightly. Unfortunately the heavy tightness in his chest and throat doesn’t budge. It’s been there since last night when the shell holding all his unhelpful emotions in a tight little ball cracked and began to leak. 

“Well look who’s up!” Swiss crows, sweeping past Dew to restock the stack of paper to-go bags in a drawer behind the counter. “Never thought I’d see you conscious before ten AM. What was it? An act of god? Three ghosts showing up and convincing you to have a change of heart?”

“Sunny’s hangover, actually.” Dew rolls his eyes. “Didn’t think she’d be the kind of person to drink on a Sunday night.”

“Oh, no, she’s actually sick.” Swiss’s normally cheerful, slightly mischievous expression fades for a moment. “I got up at 5 to get her ginger ale and saltines, and you know how much she hates bothering people.” He chews on his lip.

“Shit, sorry.” Guilt joins the wad of half-chewed emotions in Dew’s gut. “I hope she’s doing okay.”

“Me too,” Swiss sighs. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry.” He takes the hair tie off his wrist and pulls his locs back into their usual high ponytail. “I would offer to take the register but Cirrus wants me in the kitchen.”

Dew sighs. “I’ll try not to kill anyone.”

“Good luck.” Swiss gives a two-finger salute and disappears back into the kitchen. Dew walks around the counter, trudges to the front door, and unlocks it. The neon ‘open’ sign is flicked on. Dew looks at his reflection in the window in the harsh light. He looks half-dead. Feels like it too.

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and heaves a sigh. If he has to take an extra smoke break to give himself the strength to make it through his shift, so be it. His lungs aren’t getting any less shriveled.

Dew is pulled from his tired thoughts by a soft tap on the glass door. He sighs again and lowers his hands to pull the cafe door open. “Sorry, come in. Spaced out a bit.”

“No worries. Good to see you again, though!” A familiar voice, deep and smooth and the subject of a few late-night fantasies. Dew’s head snaps up fast enough to make his neck pop. Aether stands before him, wearing- oh good lord, are those scrubs ?

“Uh- give me a sec.” Dew scampers back behind the counter and takes the precious few seconds he has to process this new information. He curses his stupid medical kink. If there is a god, he has a sick sense of humor.

He taps on the dark screen of the register, willing it to turn on. After a few seconds of increasingly harder taps on the display, he realizes he should press the on button. Why didn’t he turn it on before opening?

“Um- it takes a minute to turn on.” Dew chuckles nervously. Unlike me, who’s pitching a tent over a customer in scrubs.

“That’s alright. I’m not in a hurry.” Aether smiles. “I usually wouldn’t come in until later but I have to shadow a nurse this morning. Twelve hour shift on a Monday.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Is that what you’re studying?” Dew asks, his hands frantically navigating to the right screen. Curse this stupid digital register. “Nursing, I mean.”

“Yeah!” Aether seems to perk up. “I’m specializing in obstetrics and neonatal care. Midwife stuff.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Dew answers sincerely. Would he give me a pelvic exam if I as-

SHUT UP, Dew scolds his horny thoughts. The register finally boots up to the transaction screen and he sighs with relief.

“What can I get for ya?” He asks, holding back a yawn. Aether considers the menu on the back wall for a moment.

“Hmm… I’d like a large iced dirty chai with… four shots of espresso.” Aether requests. Dew raises an eyebrow as he punches in the order.

“Four? You trying to meet a fifth dimensional being today?” He jokes, grabbing a cold cup and a sharpie.

To his surprise and delight, Aether giggles, ending in an adorable snort. “Nah, I just need a lotta energy. Twelve hour shift, remember?”

“Yeah- I think I’d do the same.” Dew rings up the order. “Uh- $7.43.”

Aether hands over a lightly crumpled ten and his punch card. Dew punches it- a smiley face this time- and slides it back over the counter with Aether’s change. “I’ll have that ready soon.”

“Thanks.” Aether smiles- that goddamn smile- and steps back to stuff his change back into his wallet. Dew’s tired mind drifts as he goes into autopilot making the espresso. He’d like to see that smile and those crooked teeth more. Especially if he was the one causing Aether to smile.

Then his daydreams come crashing down. A guy like Aether was surely taken. He had a partner, a fiancé, maybe even a spouse. Dew wasn’t going to break up a relationship because of a fleeting crush.

It’ll pass . He scolds himself. The chai concentrate and milk are added to the cup and the espresso is poured on top. You have to get yourself together. Focus on what’s important. He doesn’t smile as he slides the drink across the counter toward Aether.

“Here ya go,” he recites in his customer service voice. “Have a good one.”

“You too, thanks Dew.” Aether smiles as he scoops up his drink- god, his hands are huge. Dew waits until the man is out the door before slamming the side of his fist against the countertop in anger. Tears prickle at his eyes- why does everything have to be so hard ? Why can’t he just focus on work and making music and functioning as an adult without his feelings getting in the way?

He wants to scream and curl up in a ball under the register counter and cry. It reminds him of the time he’d accidentally dropped a bottle of some mechanical fluid while poking around his father’s tool shed. The aged plastic had cracked and begun leaking dark and sticky fluid onto his favorite shoes. He’d tried to fix it, put duct tape over the crack and scrubbed the cement floor clean, but his shoes were ruined. He had begged his parents for them, red and yellow with velcro closures and the number 95 emblazoned across the side. Cars was his favorite movie for most of his childhood. He had crawled under the workbench and cried until his father found him and scolded him for snooping.

That same cornered, hopeless feeling blooms in his chest now. He wants to go home- at least now he has a home. That scared little girl never had a “home” to go to. All she could do was hunker down and weather the punches.

Dew thinks he would rather relive his entire teenage experience than have his own mind turn against him like this. He’s scared and tired and he doesn’t know what to do. So he does the easiest thing he can think of- shuts down his brain and takes orders. During quieter moments, he cleans the machines. He has to keep his hands busy. He makes a to-do list in his brain:

Take a nap once I get home

Re-string guitar

Shower- NO JERKING OFF.

Check on that tupperware of mold in the fridge, note new colors. Report back to Rain.

Some time passes. He takes orders, warms baked goods, gives customers hollow smiles, and doesn’t. think. This works until his smoke break. Dew sparks up a cigarette and uses the taste of smoke to ground himself.

Nurse Aether would have a fit if he caught me smoking. Dew thinks to himself with a dry chuckle. The hoodie he’d brought with him isn’t warm enough to keep him comfortable so he cuts his smoke break short and heads inside. He stops at the cramped employee bathroom to piss.

Ohhhhh. That’s why I’ve been feeling like shit.

Luckily the box of menstrual products under the sink is fully stocked. Dew digs out a tampon, grinding his teeth at the gaudy pink wrapper. It doesn’t usually bother him but right now it feels like a kick in the ribs while he’s already down.

You go girl! The wrapper taunts him. Dew throws it back into the box and pulls out another one. #Girlboss! It reads.

“Okay, well, fuck you too.” Dew grumbles. He pulls out another one- Breathe and center yourself. That wouldn’t be too bad, if not for the Venus symbol emblazoned next to the words. He tosses that one back too and groans.

God, he wants to go home. That way he can put on his period boxers and not worry about shoving chemical-filled cotton up his pussy. A pad would move around too much in his boxers so he’s forced to resort to the alternative.

Dew gives the tampons one last try. They’re merciful this time, giving him a yellow wrapper and the words dream big.  

One haphazard insertion (cold fingers are not the most dexterous with smooth plastic) later, he’s feeling slightly more put together. At least his pants are black today.

His reflection looks back at him in the mirror- he swears the hollows of his throat and cheekbones seem sharper than usual. He looks like a skeleton. He feels sweaty, even though his fingers are still numb from the cold. His tongue and throat are tender from that shot of near-boiling espresso. The taste of smoke makes him almost nauseous.

Dew swallows and looks at his watch. He has two hours left on his shift. His body tells him to go home but his stubbornness wins out. Two hours is nothing.

The cramps hit after about 45 minutes. Luckily Dew’s on dish duty so he can hunch over the sink and grit his teeth and power through. He just wants to go home. Cirrus pulls him aside twenty minutes later. Dew expects her to ask him to stay for another hour or two- she’s got that slightly stressed look on her face.

“How long do you need me for?” Dew asks, trying not to look too disappointed. Cirrus shakes her head.

“I want you to go home. Frankly, you look like you’ve been through war.” She pats his shoulder. “You have PTO. Give yourself a few days to rest, alright?” Dew opens his mouth to protest but she squeezes his shoulder in a comforting yet slightly threatening way. “ Rest. ” 

The care and concern in her eyes is the final straw. Dew crumbles into pieces, his carefully built shell around all his emotions shattering. A sob works its way out of his throat and his knees buckle. Cirrus catches him and lets him lay his head on her shoulder.

God, he feels pathetic. He hasn’t cried in six years- not since the night he’d slipped out the back door of his parents house with his guitar, a backpack, and a greyhound bus ticket. He’d promised himself he’d be strong. Turns out it only took a sleepless night and a spiral over a fleeting crush to break him.

“It’s okay, buddy.” Cirrus murmurs to him. “Let it out. No judgement.”

“I wanna go home…” Dew whimpers into her shoulder. He’s going to get fired for this, but right now he doesn’t care.

“You can go. Take all the time you need.” Cirrus replies. “I won’t tell anyone about this.”

Dew nods. He doesn’t trust that she’ll keep his moment of weakness a secret but he appreciates the facade of security. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“You’ll come back as soon as you feel better .” Cirrus corrects him, pulling back and holding him at arm’s length. “Don’t force yourself.”

“Okay.” Dew swallows. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Cirrus shrugs. “Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself.” She holds out her pinky.

Dew looks at the offered finger and links his own pinkie around hers. It makes him smile a bit, he has to admit. “Deal.”

The walk home is bitterly cold and his fingers are stiff as he unlocks his door. He groans as the heat of the apartment envelops him. Thank fuck the heating system decided to work today.

Dew kicks off his boots and makes a beeline for his bedroom. He collapses into bed and burrows under the covers fully clothed. He’s fully expecting to close his eyes and drift off easily, but… sleep doesn’t take him. 

Fuck. He knew he shouldn’t have overdone the caffeine today. His heart and brain are racing. He rolls onto his stomach and screams into the pillow.

The scream turns into a sob and now he’s crying again. God FUCKING damnit. He doesn’t even fight it this time. There’s no one home to witness his weakness. So Dew sobs and screams into his pillow and curls into a tear-stained ball.

He manages to cry himself to sleep for a merciful few hours. The dreams he manages to remember consist of dark rainy highways, dingy bus lighting, and faceless strangers.

Dew drifts awake sometime later to the sound of Rain’s footsteps. For a guy built like uncooked spaghetti, he can really stomp. 

Through the gaps in his curtains he can see that it’s dark. Granted, it’s November so that could mean it’s anytime between 5 PM and 8 AM.

He looks around blearily for his phone and discovers it in the pocket of his jeans. He’s shivering and absolutely soaked in sweat. Gross.

It’s 6 PM. Five and a half hours of sleep are better than nothing. Dew drags himself out of bed with a pained groan and pushes his hair out of his face. Shower, then eat.

So he does just that- peels his clothes off in front of the bathroom mirror, turns the water temperature up as hot as he can stand, and stands in the shower for what feels like hours until the stickiness melts off his skin. He tastes salt- he’s crying again.

“ Why?” Dew whimpers to himself, sinking to his knees. His chest aches deeply as he takes desperate gulps of air. Oh no. Please no.

His heart is pounding and his hands are shaking. 

He kneels in the shower, one hand clasped over his mouth to muffle his sobs. On the shower floor is a necklace, the delicate gold chain snapped. The heart locket pendant is open, the photos inside unrecognizable from water damage.

Why was this happening now? Today of all days?

Dew wants to scream and punch the wall. He wants to rip that fucker apart with his teeth. He picks up the locket and rips the two halves apart.

He’d TRUSTED him. He’d laid on the roof and smoked weed with him, telling each other the things they each kept hidden. He’d spent countless steamy nights in the back of his car. Dew’s guitar was a birthday present from him, secretly bought with his parents’ credit card.

Then he’d turned around and told the whole school EVERYTHING. He’d gone from sharing knowing glances and stealing kisses in the school bathroom to spreading Dew’s secrets to the entire school- and worse- the church.

Dew’s jaw aches from how hard he’s clenching it. Old anger wells up in his tear ducts. He was why Dew had sworn off romance. He couldn’t be betrayed like that again. It would destroy him.

The shower starts to cool down, snapping Dew out of his misery for the moment. He gets out and dries off. He doesn’t care that he gets blood all over his towel or his hair drips all over the floor. Keep moving. Don’t let your past catch up.

So he dries his body and hair, goes through the ordeal of dealing with his tampon, and finally slips his period boxers on. He washes his face, examines the faint wisps of a mustache on his upper lip and sighs. Dysphoria is a bitch.

Dew wanders to the kitchen, still feeling hollow with exhaustion and disorientation. It doesn’t help that he’s hungry too so he digs a mini pizza out of the freezer and pops it in the microwave.

It spins. And spins. Around and around. Like swirls of blood going down the shower drain or lazy curls of smoke. Dew suddenly doesn’t feel hungry. He leaves his pizza in the microwave and curls up on the couch. The microwave beeps at him and he flips it the bird. 

The crumpled paper buried in his dresser drawer crosses his mind. He could write. It seemed to help a few days ago.

Dew doesn’t feel like getting up so he snags a pen off the coffee table with his foot and rolls up his sleeve to use his arm as a makeshift journal page. There’s not much space so he tries to write down one-word descriptors. Angry. Tired. Frustrated. Violent. Betrayal. A

Dew stops before he can write the name. He licks his thumb and smears the ink away. Him. Horrible ex.

Scared. Dew pauses. He is scared. Scared of being rejected, scared of peeling away the layers of armor around his heart and exposing his weak spot. His Achilles heel.

Achilles was hella gay, wasn’t he? Yeah. For that other guy. Patroclus. Dew had learned about the story in English class. His teacher had glossed over their relationship as “brotherly comradery” but Dew’s little closeted brain had known better. He found a retelling of the story online and secretly downloaded the PDF to his phone.

The ending had made him sob for hours. It was so beautifully tragic. At the time, he’d hoped that maybe his story would be different. That his mother would accept him before it was too late, before he was buried.

That was a naive fucking fantasy. His mother had clung so hard to her vision of a perfect blonde-haired blue-eyed Catholic daughter that her claws left permanent scars.

Dew’s hand- the one holding the pen- drifts to the back of his head. Speaking of scars…

His vision tunnels and his breath hitches. Here he goes again.

The scent of butternut squash. Dew’s mother had come to the dinner with a stack of Dew’s journals- neatly tabbed and annotated- and read out every entry detailing his process of questioning his faith. Thank fuck he hadn’t written down any of his gender crisis.

He’d been forced to sit there and swallow back tears as his parents told him he was weak, he was stupid, he was letting the devil in.

Dew had mustered up enough courage to snap back. He’d stood up and gone to storm out of the kitchen.

His mother cornered him. He tried to duck and slip past her.

Pain exploded across his face as the back of her hand connected with his cheek. He reeled and lost his balance.

A flash of pain, so bright he could see it. Like a thousand suns.

Stars. Pain. It hurt so much. He tasted pennies. The kitchen ceiling swam above him as his parents yelled at each other. It felt like a dream. His stomach churned with nausea.

He barely managed to muster the strength to turn his head before his dinner came up all over the floor. Something warm and wet was soaking into the back of his sweater. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

His memory was choppy from that moment. Trees speeding by outside a car window, sterile lights of a hospital, doctors shining lights in his face. A machine where he had to lie really still as it beeped and rotated around his head.

“Dew?”

Finally he was carried back into the house and laid on the couch. His parents stood over him and told him in concerned voices that this had happened because he had let the devil into his heart. Dew was too dazed and tired to argue so he nodded his head and apologized.

“Dew? Dude, you okay?”

His rosary was placed in his hands and he was ordered to pray. He did, begging forgiveness from a god that never answered until he was allowed to sl-

“Dewdrop!”

Dew’s eyes snap open. There’s a hand on his shoulder- he flinches away from it.

“Sorry- dude, you okay?” Rain is crouched next to the couch, big blue eyes wide and worried. 

Dew is too tired to pretend. He shakes his head and bursts into tears again.

“Woah, woah. Can I sit with you?” Rain asks softly. Dew nods.

Over the next few hours, Dew splits himself open. It hurts, but fuck it feels good to release everything. Rain wouldn’t tell anyone anyway. He starts by telling him about Aether. His stupid gorgeous puppy crush. Then his fear of relationships, then his shitbag ex, then the flashback Rain had interrupted. He probably wasn’t coherent for a lot of it but his friend seemed to understand.

“…That’s fucked up.” Rain tells him after a moment of silence. “I’m… so sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Dew sniffles, muffled by the blanket his face is buried in. “Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime.” Dew feels Rain shift awkwardly on the couch. “Can I get you something?”

“Made a microwave pizza. Can you reheat it for me?” Dew asks. Rain nods and gets up.

“And… stay with me?” Dew adds sheepishly. “I can’t be alone right now. I’ll smoke myself to death or-“ he stops and swallows. “Something worse.”

“Got it.” Rain shoots him a smile. “Want a soda?”

“ Please. Did you get another case?”

“Yep. Splurged a bit and got a case of cherry coke too.” Rain opens the fridge and grabs two cans.

“Fancy.” Dew manages to smile- a genuine one. It’s shaky but it’s real. He takes the plate of pizza and the can of off-brand Dr. Pepper with a grateful nod.

“I had some extra change.” Rain shrugs, popping open his can. There’s an expression on his face that makes Dew raise his eyebrow.

“Who’d you suck off?”

“Oh, shut up.” Rain elbows him. “Just a quick coding commission. Someone wanted an in-browser game to put on their website.”

“Alriiiight.” Dew still has suspicions, but he leaves it alone. Not his business anyway.

The two of them stay there, laughing and talking until well past midnight. Dew feels like a weight has been lifted from his chest. By the time he heads off to bed, he feels vastly better. He changes into pajamas and crawls under the blankets.

Maybe Aether won’t be as bad as the last guy, he thinks before sleep takes him.

Kudos and comments on ao3 are greatly appreciated!